Re: OpenReach
So much wrong with this obvious bovine excrement.
End customers never report to OR, you report to your own provider, so will never get a bill from OR
OR will charge the provider if the problem is beyond the socket, nothing about going on premises or not.
The provider can choose to absorb any OR charges if they wish, eg if it is a supplier provided modem issue.
If you do wish to troll, maybe try something at least remotely plausible.