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BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?

Whatsinitforme
Big Brother

Security has checked the building 5 months ago and thought there was nobody left inside, so they locked up.

Yet, for some strange reason, there's a daily delivery by Just-Eat at the garage to the basement. The delivery boy was warned about some strange security features at his current delivery address,

He was also instructed to go to the garage door, say his name and what he is delivering, and place the delivery on the trolley in the yellow circle that is 2 feet behind the garage door when it opens.

The route to this basement garage door has been altered over the last months, motion-detection camera's have been added, and suddenly there's a disturbing >hhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss< from the far right corner (you know, that piece of the driveway that is always in the dark), and an LED display lights up.

The words "TARGET ACQUIRED" flash momentarily on the display, followed by "ANALYSING TARGET", and "LISTENING”.

The delivery boy gasps for air, as the display suddenly turns red and an alarm sounds. He remembers what he needs to do. "Hi, Leandro here, from just eat. I have your order of Tzatziki and 6 pints of lager for you"

The red LED display changes to "RECALCULATING", but the alarm is still active. 3 Seconds later, the alarm comes to a halt, and the display turns green, showing the words "ORDER RECOGNISED".

The garage door opens, Leandro sees a strange trolley 2 feet behind the garage door. It seems to be able to operate on its own, there's several mainboard showing, a spaghetti-like mess of wires, some batteries and an electrical engine. When he places the order on the trolley, the front wheels jiggle a bit, turning left and right and a soft hummmm of the electrical motor is audible.

He wants to stay and look, but all of a sudden, he hears the disturbing >hhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss< from all directions except the garage exit, and multiple red LED displays are showing the disturbing words "TARGET ACQUIRED, COUNTING DOWN FROM 5".

When Leandro steps back from the trolley, the garage door closes, and the kill-bot that was outside is now showing a friendly green LED showing "THANK YOU. HERE'S YOUR TIP" and an arm is extended, with a 2 pound note attached to the end.

Inside the building, at a redesigned mission control, a man is looking at the CCTV camera's with a disturbingly satisfied grin on his face, the main screen is showing a self-propelled trolley with a plastic bag and a 6-pack of lager moving around the building on its way to mission control. Upon leaving the garage, it passes the heatsensors. Good, only the plastic bag on top are showing heat (apart from the recognised battery and engine of course). The trolley is allowed to enter the elevator, while the main screen is now showing the camera's inside, above and below the elevator. The elevator doors open, the trolley exits and steadily makes its way to mission control, while the elevator plummets to the ground floor at enough speed to make sure anything at the bottom of the elevator shaft will not be able to escape and will be crushed, but not fast enough to self-destruct,

Seconds later, the trolley passes the mission control door and continues to a small but heavily enforced door, it opens automagically and the trolley enters a small room, just big enough for it and the contents on its tray. The small door closes, and >WOOOSH< is heard inside the room, a decent amount of CO2 is released to expell the oxygen (Halon was tested before, but it added a funny taste to the food). After a couple of minutes a second door opens, allowing the trolley to finally enter mission control.

"Aaaah, tzatziki and beer, what a way to start a weeks work. Now all I need to do is to find a way to keep my food warm, while still being able to detect any people trying to enter the building using the trolley."

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