"The key characteristics of a serverless offering is no server management. I'm not worried about the operating systems or how much memory these things have got; I am abstracted away from all of that".
Technically true but massively misses the point. AWS Lambda requires you to decide how to allocate "memory to your function between 128MB and 3008MB, in 64MB increments" (https://aws.amazon.com/lambda/pricing/). So now you have to capacity manage memory at function level rather than server/cluster level.
There are lots of good things about serverless, but this ain't one.