re: eat your hat
I take it that said hat is a mexican sombrero then?
IMHO, Apple plus Google (Epic have filed suit against them as well remember) will lose this fight. The laws of unintended consequences will take over and I get the feeling that Epic may well have signed their own death warrant despit winning. Win the battle but lose the war.
Disclaimer. I own an iPhone (secondhand iPhone 8) and have never paid Apple directly a brass farthing for an iDevice and all the apps I use on said iDevice are free (train times etc) and I certainly don't game on the thing apart from the odd bit of Sudoku or Solitaire.