BT has spoken about the "final third" of the UK, and would never mislead the public on the true extent of their FTTP rollout to cover up the fact that they don't want to make the required investment to actually bring FTTP to all of the UK. So obviously, you aren't in fact a British citizen! Perhaps Watford is actually part of one of those quaint European independent principalities or grand duchies! Kind of like Andorra or Monaco, but with worse weather.
I would find out who your actual sovereign is, and take it up with them. Getting the proper royal audience probably involves protocol like approaching the throne while carrying a duck, and spinning in place while stating your petition.