Re: "they're merely resting, pining for the planet's lava fjords"
I wish to make a complaint!
When I looked at those volcanoes not half an hour ago, the astroboffins assured me that they were simply shagged out after a long... well... blow.
On closer examination, however, I noticed that the volcanoes appear to be nailed to their perch.
Oh, wait a minute, I think I hear something...