Ah, low code bullshit
Here we go again. Some low code bullshit I have to work with was sold to the exec team as being "Easy to use for any of your team members. Each department will be able to use one or two people in their team to build apps. You'll no longer need to rely on 3rd party developers". It was purchased, a somewhat bullshit digital department was created. The coders understood it and could get the hang of the logic, the non coders struggled and lost interest quickly. It as code options you can tweak if you wish, but you came to realise it was mainly, a database front end. All well a good, learn databases then. Nope, thats pointless also because the software breaks all database standards and uses its own terms for such database traditions as Tables, fields etc, making it even more fucking confusing.
Not to mention the bullshit "You won't have to rely on any 3rd party developers anymore". Apart from the company you outsourced the fucking database too. And, despite it being our fucking data, the company refuses to give us full SQL access. "If you want to access the data, we suggest you quickly make a low code app that pulls out the data you need to see and edit it that way". What?! But that takes twice as long as you have to work out how to extract the data you need, again, because the low code app breaks all database conventions.
The funniest part was the "All your departments will be able to create their own apps. Using 1 or 2 of their team members."
1. You're gonna ask them to develop an app with no IT experience or known processes so there'll end up being no documentation. Did you not learn from years back when you let people loose with MS Access. They happily made Access Databases with front ends for their departments to use, that only they knew how it worked, were too busy with their own job to create documentation, then left years later with IT having to support old shit that they've just had to work out how it works themselves.coughthecremcough.
2. You're not going to pay these staff any extra yet also expect them to still do their day job. Most are going to realise this and object. Realising you're just after free developers.
3. "We'll just use interns if we can't hire people" but those interns will discovered what two people already have that you moved from other departments. That no one else uses the low code you're using, there are no job prospects for it, no jobs advertising knowledge of it, and you're paying them peanuts.
4. Your digital department manager realises and admits that the "Easy to use, your other departments can create their own apps" was bullshit and mis sold but you can't do anything about it now. It can't be seen as a failure.
You discover that, no matter how much you want the low code to work. Its not near powerful enough to do what you need and can't replace the likes of .Net but you now can't let it been seen as the failure that it is. It hasn't saved the money you claimed it would, in fact has cost millions more. You are waiting to jump ship but need some bullshit claim you can put on your CV and the equally bent councillors who agreed to all this want to be re-elected.
All I can say is....thank God for Private Eye.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
