So what are its capabilities?
We need to know just how many bits per second of encrypted porn this satellite can stream to bored troops.
Although I suppose there will also be voice comms: "November one, November zero, position report, over"
"November zero, November one - I'm on a train ... "
Other military chatter I've intercepted many years ago ...
"Eeny meeny miney mo, how do you read me on your radio?"
"Fee foe fie fum reading you 5's with a bit of a hum."
_______________________________________________
"Lima zero, Lima one urgent. Request medivac. Position shackle Bravo Whiskey Tango One Seven Niner, over"
"Lima one Lima zero wilco. Sitrep, over"
"(sheepishly) Lima zero, I rolled my Landrover over, over."
________________________________________________
"I'm f*cking bored"
"Station using obscenity, this is Alpha zero. Identify yourself. Over"
"I said I was f*cking bored, not f*cking stupid."