Dated a gal...
...who's dad was a cop, and he had some awesome "stupid inebriated citizen" stories. My favorite is when a crackhead complained that someone had stolen some of his stash:
"How much?"
"Five hundred bucks!"
"Still got some?"
"Yeah! See?"
"Dumbass!"
...click...
Runner up... Cop and his partner are parked in a marked car in skid row, doing paperwork. Bum knocks on the window
"Gimme a ride home!!"
"Why the fsck should we?"
"I pay your salary!"
"BS! You don't pay ship!"
"You know how much taxes I pay on booze???!"
"Sir, I apologise. Where do you want us to go?..."
