Re: Teach the value of life.
Whether or not to have an abortion is ultimately the decision of the woman concerned - and only her - there is no role in that decision for someone else's "beliefs", no matter how right the person holding those beliefs might think they are.
As a fellow Kiwi you can watch what happens in light of this decision, and the others where the value of life is being eroded.
I also have known people who have had abortions. Seems very common that before hand it's painted as a "lifestyle choice" no more different than getting a Ford over a Honda - kill the baby and go on an overseas holiday or let the baby live, paint the living room green or blue.... But afterwards - they wish they'd known of the depression and other aftereffects so many seem to face.
if you love a woman for whom that is a consideration, then you will do all you can to make sure she has all the information available to her. You won't just be there to pick up the pieces afterwards, you will do your best to make sure that there is not going to be a need to pick up pieces. That applies to any major decision with a potential for life-altering and life-long results. I have known woman who battled depression for years after an abortion, despite those around them supporting them with "it was your right" and "it really was the best decision" etc. No one making them or suggesting they feel guilty, yet some still take their own lives over the depression they feel.
There is something in the makeup of many (most?) women where, no matter how much they feel it is the right thing to do, aborting a baby winds up messing them up for the rest of their lives and they suffer for decades as a result. I guess you missed TV one's news last night (or was it Sunday night) where, despite their efforts to hide it, they still showed people struggling with that decision nearly 30 years later. It doesn't matter how they got pregnant, it doesn't matter how much support they have, it doesn't matter what changes it otherwise makes to their lives, it doesn't matter how bad the child's life might have been, having an abortion messes so many women up. But they are never warned of this before hand, expect by a few doctors brave enough to risk their practice by speaking out in a manner they're not supposed to.
If you love someone, you will do your best to support them through a tough or life-altering decision. That includes doing your best to make sure they're equipped to make the right decision. You won't abdicate your responsibility by saying "it's your decision", if you love them you will make sure they have the best support they can get.
Open your eyes. If you love them, you have a responsibility to comment on those decisions, influence them, and make damned sure they're making the right decision. ANY decision. That is what love is, making sure someone does the best thing, and that they're aware of the risks of each option. I dare you to ask your wife if she would've wanted someone else to talk with her about that decision. (actually no don't, it may cause her to relive things she shouldn't have to - or you may find out what a weight of guilt she still carries)
In this situation, my beliefs don't have to come into it - seeing what that decision has done to people I love is all I need to see to know we need to do a much better job of making sure it is the right decision. I'm yet to know a woman who has had an abortion who hasn't regretted it for the rest of her life (admittedly I know few who have had them)
Biting the hand that feeds IT
