Re: 41 good, 44 bad?
Er, yeah, it would be illustrative if you look up the openness of the boarders, and why. Hint: The only open borders you'll find are with the EFTA countries and principalities because there's an agreement between them and the EU (or in the case of principalities with neighbouring countries) but even with an agreement there are stops and paperwork for freight transport which is no good for the Irish border.
Hence, an open border requires a customs agreement. The backstop is that agreement and it was requested by the UK and the UK got what it wanted before putting it to Parliament where it was rejected. The backstop is a blindingly obvious requirement but it seems in the past few months after nearly just managing to work it out over about two and a half years we've regressed back to unicorns and rainbows.