Hell hath no fury
Like an victim of a April Fo0l's prank ^H*n bureaucrat spurned.
Returning to the fantasy: If the putative company anywhere in its company documents has the representation that it is a transportation company, there is no case to answer. The data services corp's application would then be without merit. Or perhaps the Reading roadrunner is laughing in his beer, already having garnered more than 800 quid's worth of publicity ...
I must congratulate El Reg for this story. It combines the shenanigans of a much-reviled in these fora fixture, with a contemporary theme: Brits have decided at great expense to scorn the assistance of arbitrary Euro bureaucrats, yet here in this masterpiece of invention, the Brit bureaucrat has outdone any Brussels prout. Sic transit gloria.