Reply to post • Re: ballistocardiogram • The Register Forums

As any Briton kno:

var x = quantity of last night's curry consumed in pounds, presumed to be a standard volume once processed.

var y = quantity of beer consumed last night in pints, which causes dilution of density of x

var z = achieved position above or upon the throne immediately prior to release, in inches

var s = strength of curry: 1 being lowest to 5 being Vindaloo+ (required for speed calculation)

var m = x * y

var f = z/s² (strength squared)

Thus ballistic force is a simple Newtonian calculation of m * f

I presume that "ballistocardiogram" is the recording the loo seat makes of the speed you were ejected off the seat at?

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