Reply to post: All the usual ooptions

Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

All the usual ooptions

Shoot them, trap them, scare them, block their perches and nesting areas, release raptors to snack on them, use drones to harass them - all of these have been done with varying degrees of success for similar problems elsewhere. What is called for here is something a bit different... something unique. To that end, please vote on the following or suggest your own solution that may in some way have a connection to the issue (or not).

1) Microwave blasts to fry the flying beasts while in the air. Not as far-fetched as you might think. Radar will accomplish this if used (in)correctly.

2) Declare war on the bastards! I know declaring war on things is more of an American thing, but it has worked fairly well for us. Stage a WWII re-enactment themed fumigation the entire area. There must be some vintage aircraft that could be used to drop gas canisters onto the benighted area.

3) Open the town as a cat sanctuary while running a simultaneous campaign to encourage cat ladies from all over the world to bring their pussies to have a good time. If only one or two decide to do this, the problem of roaming cats will quickly displace that of dive-bombing pigeons. Dogs next, followed by goats, cows and horses.

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