A former colleague had a user complaining that he didn’t have permission to defragment the drive in his locked-down Windows XP laptop. It didn’t need defragmenting, but the user was convinced it had to be done regularly and kept logging Hell Desk tickets requesting a defrag.
Some would have simply granted him the rights to do it, but no...where is the fun in that! An application was written that displayed a progress bar showing “Defragmentation Progress”, while performing random seeks on the hard drive. Never had another complaint from the user!