The free lunch
No dreaming necessary. By any rational definition, my UK banking is free in terms of monetary cost, in terms of the net positive benefit to the consumer, and in terms of no opportunity cost to the consumer. (Anyone paying £50 a month for their iPhone is parting with cash for a service which includes an iPhone - the payment is the clue.)
I part with nothing and concede nothing but gain the tangible benefit of access to all the banking services I need - laughing all the way to the (free) bank.
For example, current account services obtained: standing orders, direct debits, ad hoc personal payments, debit card and card payments, ATM services, free domestic inter-bank transfers, Internet account management facilities, mobile as well but I won't use it, fraud management and alerts, balance and deposit/withdrawal alerts, and a range of other account management options.
Current account cost to me: Zero, including a total lack of fees and zero opportunity cost to me of not investing the residual money moving through the account (all my residual income goes to separate investment services which I pay for, and investing the transient cash balance is a laughable idea for the individual). There is no requirement to maintain a minimum balance (although I deliberately move enough volume through to get some extra benefits).