Re: Who invented what?
"The first GUI driven desktop operating system? Nope. Not in-house. Licensed from Xerox."
You are oversimplifying history and getting it wrong. Xerox PARC developments were not understood by Xerox management. They invited IBM, Tektronix and Apple to come and have a look. IBM and Tektronix didn't get it either, but Apple did and mainly because they were already doing similar stuff. Hence some Xerox PARC technology was given to Apple to take the risk on it.
"Apple can be best characterised as a company that buys in good ideas, covers them in shiny aluminium and then sells them at an exorbitant markup"
As in the correct history of Apple and Xerox, Apple understands technology that others don't, take the risk to put it into products. When products succeed, it's just sour grapes from the rest.
"Let's just call them what they are, though: a fashion house."
"Oh, and, by the way, it is pretty intellectually bankrupt to call people out for not providing evidence of Samsung innovation when you have provided none for Apple!"
No, Apple's innovations are quite apparent for all to see, apart from completely blinded people like yourself who are in a state of denial and falsify history to make their point. That is what intellectual bankruptcy is.