Ok. Sorry to disappoint, this is not snarky, insulting, or full of bravado, but a real question. I am curious why those with massive data files (cough, cough, Equifax), don't have 'red dye-packs' buried in their data files. They would be buried routines that would trigger some event if they were moved from one network/operating system/whatever to another. No one would legitimately be asking for the transfer of these specific 'files' because no one would know they were there. They would only be accessed in a bulk transfer.
The triggered event could be something benign - like sending a traceable email to the data-owner, or more severe, like encrypting everything in the files (and only the data-owner has the key).
If this gives anyone any ideas for a product, I relinquish all rights. I'm tired of the creeps causing these problems.