Re: Selfie hell
1. Only you are not taking a selfie. And everyone keeps telling me android has done this for years (so we must already be living in this hell - as I'm also told Android is far more popular).
2. Because you couldn't touch the phone against their finger as they sleep? And... if that worries you, turn on the attention feature - unless you sleep with your eyes open you should be ok.
3. About as well as touch id with gloves. Sometimes you may need to use pin/password. Live with it.
Enjoy your phone. I'll enjoy mine, without the need to mock others for their choices. Personally having used Android, it's not for me (inconsistent interface - perhaps due to carrier/manufacturers bolt ons, etc. but I like keyboards to be consistent, have things in the same place, etc, not to change based on where I am in the interface), but that's my opinion, and I feel no need to impose it on you - but reserve the right to call you out for inaccuracies and a need to force your opinion on others.