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Nutanix CEO smacks down VMware exec over claim it's a new Enron

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

I have a story to tell about their BS:

They came in and promised us everything we wanted to hear. Then we mentioned data at rest encryption this (paraphrased) conversation happened:

Nutanix: we don't have data at rest yet but it's coming real soon.

Us: Ok, what about SED drives? We can probably rig up some key management.

Nutanix: Uhm, no SED. They are really expensive. But we will have software encryption really soon!

Us: Uhm, software encryption? We don't want that. We tried Prometric and it sucks. Also, we don't want to lose even more CPU to the infrastructure.

Nutanix: OUR ENCRYPTION DOESN'T USE CPU CYCLES. NONE WHATSOEVER, WE GUARANTEE IT!

Us (two computer sciences and one math major laughing like mad donkeys): Get the phuck outta here!

Nutanix: Also, we have a one-click failover.

Us: Really?

Nutanix: Yes, it's coming in 6 months.

Us: So you don't really have it.

Nutanix: Oh we do, it's not finished yet. But it's awesome. Don't pay the Veeam tax!!!

Us: We paid $2000 per server, we are not concerned about that. Also, Veeam has been around forever and has 200,000 customers? We aren't ready to throw away our backup for a v1.0 product that's not out yet by a vendor who has never shipped a BURA product.

Nutanix: But we can do database failover!

Us: We don't need that. We run AlwaysOn Availability Groups.

Nutanix: But this is better:

Us (our DBA): You don't know what you are talking about. Stay away from this topic please. Any failover will take 20 minutes to boot the vm, SQL AOAG failover is less than a minute.

Nutanix (switching topic without skipping a beat): We have microsegmentation!

Us: Ok, we'll bite. You do?

Nutanix: Not really, but it will come in a year.

Us (groaning): So you are working on your own SDN?

Nutanix (hemming and hawing): Well, yes. But we work with Aviatrix now.

Us: So you don't have your own, or rather, your own is crap and not going anywhere so you validated Aviatrix with your stack to fill that gap. We heard Cisco is buying Aviatrix, what are you going to do then!

Nutanix (foams at the mouth when Cisco is mentioned): WE WORK WITH GOOGLE! WE ARE GOOGLE! WE HAVE GOOGLE CLOUD SCALE FILE SYSTEM!!!!!!

Us: We aren't Google.

Nutanix: Google!

Us: We run in AWS.

Nutanix: But you should go Google. Anyhoo, we can run GPU.

Us: So does everyone else. What about Intel Purley and NVMe? And Nvidia P-series? Our boffins want to run some analytics.

Nutanix: Google!

Us: Whatever. Send us a quote, we will check it out.

Two weeks later we receive a quote that suspiciously has only 12 months of software and support. When we extrapolate to 36 months, Nutanix ended up 80% more expensive than all competitors (Dell and Cisco, who btw offered enterprise hardware instead of some flimsy SuperMicro).

It's hard to take these clowns seriously. Their core product is commodity and now they are attempting to write ten products at once, competing in ten markets at once. The only reason they really offer is that competitors' products cost money (Nutanix calls that "xy-tax" as in vTax, or veeamtax, or MSTax). Yes, we are aware that software has costs associated, but so does Nutanix' version. Not sure where they are going with this.

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