Re: Bewildered. (That's grown-up speak for "wtf")
I see what you did there. You said 'iPhone' and obviously meant 'Hipster' as frankly the only people who would buy this POS and then connect it to the internet are those with more money than sense a.k.a. Apple customers.
Then the bit about the kids. Loved it.
My kids are on the other side of the planet. Perhaps I should connect my DW up so that they can check on their GOM and that he is ok? (GOM== Grumpy Old Man)....
Sorry no. While I am an Apple customer (I have a secondhand iPhone) I would never buy AND connect something like this up to the internet in a million, no make that a gazillion years.
I'd actually go out of my way to NOT buy an appliance like this.