"Warning: This product contains security"
"However, we can't tell you how much, because we don't understand IT security ourselves. In fact, we can't even tell you what it is. Manufacturer may also have more friends in government than you do, and therefore any liability from compromise of this product defaults to you, the owner. Product's poor security may also be the direct result of government efforts to enable mass surveillance, because we all know you can't be trusted.
Warning: substitution of older model, non-computerized models for this product has been made illegal, as numerous campaign and manifesto promises about championing of smart green products have already been made without consideration to what this means to you, the owner."