You wish!
"...piss about for an extra five minutes during startup or relaunch..."
You're dreaming!
Configuring updates. Please wait.
...and wait... ...and wait... ...and wait... ...and wait... ...and wait... ...and wait...
Number of times I had a customer there to see something on their machine or to pick it up and we got that happening... Even more odd was Win 7 that would do this sometimes despite a) not having had an internet connection for a few days and b) having been turned on and off several times in those days - why suddenly decide to install updates so late in the piece?
And FFS MS! Linux/BSD/OSX etc have for many years done updates in quiet little background task that stays out of the way except maybe to change an icon colour to let you know there's updates available. When you tell it to, you can ignore it unless and until it says a restart is needed, which you can ignore unless and until you want to restart (it won't do any more than change an icon in most environments I've experienced but I don't have OSX experience in this regard). The update process does everything, so that when you stop using a program (or your machine) the old code is unloaded and when you next start the program/machine the new code is loaded. None of this often 45+mins doing update crap when the machine is shutting down and an equal amount of faffing around when the machine starts when all you want is to unwind by killing shit in a virtual world (rather in the real world which can get dicey legally, though maybe if we went after the person who thought this updates-when-restarting stuff was a good idea when mostly people choose "Restart" because they want to try a quick fix for an issue, not a 1.5hr minimum festival-of-fucking-around waiting for something that should take less than 5 minutes!
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
