Re: I dont have ANY of the above mentioned
I still wont visit the place again though; they pointed machine guns at my 7 y/o because a drawing pin stuck in his shoe set off the metal detector.
Calm down! What you don't realise, Mr. Over-Reactioner, is that your 7 y/o has actually been a 'very real and credible security threat' for the last 3 years. It all started with that 'myLittleiPhone' you bought him, and the canny little bastard hacked into the Pentagon servers by mistake whilst trying to gain extra credits for Candy Crush. He's good, but not that good! Yet.
And I dont mean swung in his direction, I mean pointed AT him until the offending pin was removed.
You obviously are not someone who is familiar with the sheer awesomeness of these good officers in question, are you? Do you not realise these good men are trained to within an inch of their life, to do stuff like that in their sleep, blindfolded, with muffs on, whilst smokebombs flash and thunder cracks? Pah, you big sissy. They KNEW what they were doing (in more ways than one). The fact that you have not been trained to SWAT level 11, only shows what a piss-ant-cotton-pants you are. Real men, doing real jobs. You would do best to wind your neck in and not be a drama queen about it. I sincerely hope the offending pin in question was decommissioned in a safe and responsible manner. And your errant son learned the error of his ways.
They also tried to claim the pitch repairer on my mothers keychain was a dangerous weapon (she is a keen golfer).
To be fair, she's also a Black-Belt in Karate. And she can use that keychain the way a Samurai wields a petrol powered chainsaw, i.e, not very effectively, but would YOU want to be on the receiving end of it? Anyway, if she's anything like my mother, the old budge needs to be put on some kind of list, just for her own safety, if no one else's (she's a fucking menace [my mum anyway]). Good job she didn't have any of them there 'nail-clippers' (you know like the ones Jean Claude van Damn the Man used in Try-Hard-3). They'd have locked her up and threw away the key! (personal memo to self: must book holidays for mum to the land of the free, home of the brave, and don't forget to pack her 'suitcase' - wink-wink -<cough> garden shears </cough>)
After taking SIX HOURS to clear customs, and being treated as if we were all terrorists, I wouldnt go back if they paid me to go.
Don't worry, next time, they won't be paying you to go back - you'll be going back whether you like it or not. You're on the list now, like it or not. Next stop Poland and some extra-curricular rendition for you and your family. Cause quite obviously, they don't give a shit about scaring little kids as well as adults, do they? I'm sure they'd be happy to 'shake you all up' a bit more. It's where all the smart jobs are these days, you mug!
</extreme sarcasm, not wishing to make light of your horrendous experience, but angry enough to attempt some late night satire>