True life factoids about police dogs
If a police dog smells your junk, then licks it, you are free to go no matter what the human officer says or does.
Drug sniffing police K-9 units are trained to smell drugs by offering them real drugs as a treat. The dogs are then super fucking high, and are unavoidably hooked and aggressively find their next fix.
If a police dog tries to attack you, just release the hotdogs you are carrying in your pants. This will distract the canine copper just long enough for you to escape, or to pull out your phone and get some periscope or snapchatting content.
Newborn K-9 Units are correctly referred to as Police Pups.
Cats were tested for police work, but things didn't work out. Too indifferent.
If you walk up to the human officer of a K-9 unit and say; "John Leeson" they must immediately reply with their favorite episode of the 4th incarnation of Doctor Who, and allow you to hold the leash. It is known.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
