Re: I thought you were being a bit sarcastic, but
As per my other comment on the Patent trolls/Brexit thread, all it takes is to change the words from what would normally be used (in this case , s/ballast/high density matter/g), so it doesn't trigger a prior art search match, and you are golden.
Looks like reading and attempting understanding of the patent is not requirement for the job of US patent examiner, could probably be replaced by a small shell script that simply does searches, mails back matches, or if no matches , passes the patent.
In fact. maybe that is what happened and you'll actually find all the patent examiners at the beach , or running second businesses as patent attorneys on the side in their copious free time.