Re: If proof is needed...
"...my Asus G51 gets locked into a perpetual reboot..."
THAT'S the UEFI problem.
Update UEFI, trough their own tools.
Never there. But my guess is that Windows Update will continue after this firmware UPD.
Helpful also to enter UEFI setup and Set to 'Secure Boot' and Unset the 'Compatible-Mode'. Clean, refreshed BIOSes don't have this problem.