Re: Psychic? @Loyal Commenter
I have to say that I have never read anything so frightening on these pages as what you are suggesting. You really need to get a sense of perspective, regardless of what your partner does for a living.
Yes, it is frightening isn't it? The fact that we like to think ourselves civilised but behind closed doors people are kicking seven shades of shit out of each other on a daily basis. The scary thing is that because most people don't see it, they don't know it goes on, and everyone assumes that others are like themselves (i.e. not drunken violent arseholes). The actual number of perpetrators of domestic violence is actually relatively low - not all men are women beaters by a long way, but the ones who are make up for it in a big way. A man who beats one woman will more often than not be a serial abuser, and may have served time in prison for such offences. His next partner won't know this, and often such abusers start off as charmers, before abusing their victims. A lot of women are reluctant to report such crimes because of the complex relationship involved with someone you are in love with hitting you. Excuses will be made, such as "he didn't mean it", "it was my fault", etc. etc. Abusers will psychologically manipulate their victims ('gaslighting') into believing that they are at fault, and not the abuser. In cases where a crime is actually reported to the police, on average, it will be on the 35th occasion of abuse. On average. That means that the crimes are under-reported by a staggering 35 times.
This is absolutely not about PR from charities; there are heaps of statistics gathered on such crimes, as they are serious and widespread. The one I quoted was the first result I got when googling it. if you want to be sure for yourself, feel free to pick through the statistics held by the ONS, unless you want to claim that these are somehow misleading because they are gathered by the government, who have an agenda? My personal 'agenda' here is perfectly clear - I think that people who beat each other are criminals and should be punished for their actions. I think this 'agenda' is one that is shared by most reasonable people. That people think there is some other agenda at play simply shows the staggering nature of the problem, and how well hidden it is in society simply because it happens behind closed doors.
In terms of a 'sense of perspective', my partner has, variously, worked for a crime victim's charity, the Ministry of Justice, and as police staff, and holds a masters degree in criminology. She has never actually worked for a domestic abuse charity, but so much of the work that comes through her door has to do with domestic violence, and I get to hear about it, that I have a pretty good perspective on the problem. Putting your fingers in your ears and pretending it doesn't happen is the exact opposite of this.