"... I do find myself contemplating pie projectiles and the like."
I'd bet nowadays the big fish would define hitting her with a cream pie as Terrism, and charge the perpetrator accordingly. Of course that would be overturned by a higher court, probably after 10 or 15 years of expensive legal-fighting-in-the-mud.
For something that in a sane world would have been punished by a fine, and not a too big one!.
Depressing. Sigh...