Re: And if he answered, "I don't. I'm a zombie."?
That would at least have been vaguely amusing.
What I got instead proceeded rapidly through the three stages of:
1. I have no idea what you could possibly mean. I *am* an honest IT expert just looking to help you
2. Well, this is the only way I can earn any decent money, even if it means ripping off your granny.
3. A bunch of English expletives, delivered in a thick, Indian accent,* followed by him hanging up.
* to be fair, number three was also amusing