I'm reminded of a Blackadder episode called "Potato"
You know the one when Edmund decides to travel the Cape of Good Hope in an attempt to impress Queenie? Raleigh believes it to be impossible and exclaims it 'rains so hard it makes your head bleed'. Blackadder retorts that some sort of hat may be in order.
I read this and think 'some kind of escutcheon is in order'. Problem solved. Or am I totally misunderstanding this whole article? Still clever mind.....