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You’re clever? But are you clever enough to give a Reg lecture?

I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

I could give 90 minutes on the 1999 Water Regulations. I've already got the Powerpoint slides and everything. In fact, I've even got posters pre-done. You're entitled to CPD certificates too.

OK, so it's a bit dull. But you'll be grateful for it, next time you're up to your knees in zebra poo on a January site visit to London Zoo.

Or, I could probably do 5 hours on the various problems my Mum has had with technology - and how I've tried to solve them. My favourite being, "I had a box pop up on my screen 4 days ago saying that I might get a virus, so I just clicked on OK and carried on browsing the internet. Is that something to worry about?" Sorry Mum, could you try being a little more vague...

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