The design is all wrong - it should be one of those crotch guns like in From Dusk Till Dawn. If you're that old/disabled, you're probably going to miss with one bullet; so plenty of bullets is a must. It's the centre of the body, so will provide a stable launching platform for your fusillade of lead, as opposed to extremities which could well be twitchy, disabled or just plain missing. Finally -and possibly most important as a factor in daily use- you will be able to reach under your tartan blanket at any time and claim "weapon maintenance" with a straight face and in perfect truthfulness.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
