Re: USPTO is the real problem.
Indeed - for two reasons, though.
First is how a patent like this ever gets granted in the first place. Second is how in the hell it took 9 years to grant.
What are they actually doing? That it takes so long implies there is a rigorous process that must be completed for each patent but the results of the process (whatever it is) tell the exact opposite story.
I appreciate that much patent material can be highly technical in nature and that the language used is specifically vague and wordy and thus far from straight-forward to decipher but it surely must be a requirement that the people who grant a patent actually understand it.
It's damning whichever way you slice it - either they didn't understand the patent or they did understand it and granted it knowing that it was obvious. Or they didn't even read it.
None of those options describe a workable system.