Lasers? PFFFT!
How terribly yesterday. I'm going full-fat nuclear. Kick-start my new Razonium(tm) plutonium powered razor! It'll nuke those hairs back into the stone age and give your skin a nice, healthy* glow. Forever**!
The first 50 kick-starters who give me $50,000 each will automatically be eligible for the model that shoots frikkin' sharks from the handle!
* For very small values of healthy
** Forever being whatever plutonium's half-life is