Reply to post: Re: Computers are afraid of me...

Re: Computers are afraid of me...

Not being actively engaged with looking after hardware anymore, I don't tend to come across this sort of thing very often, although I have occasionally threatened to 'repair' or to convert into a pocket calculator bits of electronica that have played up in my presence over the years, which usually seems to do the trick.

However, my current bete noir are the evil twins Outlook and Excel. And they're software, so I can't threaten to dis-assemble them, kick them, or otherwise visit any kind of unpleasantness upon them which will actually hurt them. I swear the bastards know that the last time I fired up a hex editor was back in the tail end of the Amiga's Golden Age, and that despite my possession of a coding tool, that they're perfectly safe from my fairly basic T-SQL coding, useful only for trying to pull out mailing lists or data for management to ponder over.

Outlook bides its time, and then suddenly, generally when I'm really busy, hides a random folder, although I did catch it doing this when I had a slow afternoon last week. Closing Outlook and restarting it did the trick that time, I reckon Outlook was bored as well that day and didn't really have its heart in it, usually a call to the IT bods is required (I'm part of a team that handles software developed in-house and multimedia stuff, and am the helpdesk admin for the team).

Excel's main trick (aside from every new version making what used to be trivial tasks more of a performance than they used to be before) is to claim that perfectly good .CSV files are various forms of unreadable. Note, please, that this includes .CSV files that it created only a few minutes earlier. Notto mention that as soon as one goes to save the files, ther'es the usual "don't you really want to save that out as a .xlsx?" dance. No, I dashed well do not (I'm trying to cut down on the swearing). Not to mention it's refusal to show me all the files in a folder unless I ASK to see all the files in a folder. Sure, I wont; want to knwo about.PDF's whilst weilding a spreadsheet, but it could at least show me all the files openable by a spreadsheet without having to specify type, but no.

Recently, however, the Terrible Twins have been joined by a newcomer, Jira. Jira isn't the worst example of why trying to use common or garden internet browsers as a tool to access software you need to use isn't the best idea anybody ever had, but it does add to this helldeskers daily misery. Issue comes into my queue. Blink at subject header, then start scrolling through email to find out what on earth it's about. Oh, THAT. Easy. Amend subject line to something more indicative of what the issue is about, open SQL editor, type, ponder, look something up, type, test, correct typo, run, save file Yes, in .csv because that's what the folks out there need for the software they used to send marketing out with. attach file with note to user. Click on button in JIRA to attach file and send response, and resolve issue. And all is well, yes?

No, because an hour later, a slightly aggrieved email comes into the already resolved issue, wondering why they haven't received their data. Eh? But I did the durned thing within ten minutes of it arriving! Ah. It's Jira Roulette again. For some peculiar reason, Jira started not sending some communications back to users if there was an attachment, well, attached. Note 'some'. Seems to be random.

Click on button to send response to user, expecting to be able to immediately type into teh box and..

. no, I canNOT type into the text box, because it's suddenly and mysteriously disappeared off the bottom of the screen. Scroll down and click the wretched thing again. Tell user that I did indeed deal with their request promptly, but JIRA let us down, and will immediately send again by direct email (I've started doing this by default with urgent stuff - saves grief all round). . Swear under breath (again) at the sheer idiocy of web browsers being used as a means to access vital everyday software, espcially given how few applications programmers seem to have a clue about good human interface design principles (and I am not sure, but I have my doubts as to whether stuff that web browsers can handle is a good medium in which to create such interfaces even if the programmer DOES know about good interface design)

And the worst of it, is I can't threaten any member of this unholy trinity (Outlook, Excel or Jira) with a screwdriver, kick or sharp wallop. (sob).