Re: "its intentions were revealed by the permissions it seeks (basically, everything)"
No...not true, I mean take this torch app. To turn on the LED light all it needs is:
retrieve running apps
modify or delete the contents of your USB storage
read the contents of your USB storage
take pictures and videos
Wi-Fi connection information
view Wi-Fi connections
Device ID & call information
read phone status and identity
receive data from Internet
control flashlight
change system display settings
modify system settings
prevent device from sleeping
view network connections
full network access
plus a dash of:
Updates to Brightest LED Torch may automatically add additional capabilities within each group.
You need all that to turn on the light.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.intellectualflame.ledflashlight.washer