Longest flight? You wish.
I've been on the Longest. Flight. Ever. and yours wasn't it.
It was in a single engine, open cockpit, two seater, "Crop Duster" BiPlane.
White knuckles, braced knees, ankles locked, feet shoved into the (literal!) firewall, eyes wide open behind protective goggles (Mustn't Blink, might miss my death!), respirator face mask (to keep you from eating a bird, but also to hold the non-noise-canceling mic & single headphone used to talk to the pilot), trying not to scream in terror, "Oh Please Lord let this fool not plow us into a tree!", sphincter squeazed shut, bowels not moving, stomach roiling, lunch vomited over the side, "Duck! It's a DUCK!", flight from hell.
Actual flight time: about thirty minutes.
Subjective flight time: I'll let you know when the nightmares stop.
*Comical thumbs in ears raspberry*
Biting the hand that feeds IT
