Re: I reckon that I have something...
Whatever you think of the plot, the design, the morality or anything else, it has Jennifer Connelly in it. And no movie with Jennifer Connelly in it can be justly called unwatchable
Not even Inkheart or Noah* and especially not pre-2000 Jennifer Connelly, when she still qualified as 'voluptuous'. Winter's Tale has received particularly poor reviews but, with not only Jennifer Connelly but Jessica Brown Findlay in it, I can't imagine it even approaches unwatchable, however bad it is.
Wash your mouth out, sir. (Or perhaps your eyes.)
* - I still have next to no idea what was going on there.