Re: is that a 6+ in there or are you just pleased to see me?
Actually the problem is most likely to be most directly attributed to a combination of fat arse and tight trousers
Au contraire! A larger bottom would present a larger radius and therefore lesser curvature when a flat object such as a phone gets pressed onto it (since - as we scientists well know - all human bottoms, much like cows, are perfect spheres). Considering also that an overweight bottom is actually more likely to be soft and therefore more conforming than a hard, muscular one I'd say Queen-favoured behinds might actually have a better chance of not breaking a phone!