Re: Language
He's not wrong!
You need to move to India, become unable to understand basic Requests or display any capacity for rational thought or initiative, also refusing to speak to anyone but your direct superior will help tremendously... On the plus side, you don't actually need any of those pesky qualifications, you can just have your company lie about it!
I really couldn't encourage anyone to move into IT nowadays, although you never know, it may all cycle around again in a few years!