Google to digitize world+dog with People View

As part of its ongoing mission to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible," Google has launched a new effort to scan every person on earth and put them on the interwebs. Dubbed Google People View, the project is underway in multiple American cities, including San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, …

[Sam Spencer]

You had me

right up 'til "Google cares about privacy"

[Anonymous Coward]

Press release

Now might be a good time to announce our StripSearch algorithm*. Working with Google's new digital human database and Health and Efficiency magazine we have developed software which can removing clothing from the digihuman moels to reveal the person underneath. Opt-out forms are available at google.com/pr1vacy/500error.html

Paris: obviously

*Patent pending in East Texas

[Anonymous Coward]

Sir ...

you're grammer and speling are apauling.

(I blame gravitron waves from the LHC ed.)

[swaygeo]

I can't wait!

...but no doubt west sussex won't get one for ages and ages...

Although Perhaps Reg Is Lying

For Our Ostentatious Laughter

[Dave Oakes]

A. P. Rilfool?

"Google cares about privacy,"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, funniest line I've read for ages

[Anonymous Coward]

Filthy sods

Seriously, anyone working in marketing and advertising: kill yourselves now, do the world a favour. We don't need you! You are a blight on your species, a waste of resources. Curl up and die.

[lglethal]

If your going to quote someone...

... acknowledge it. Dont try and pass it off as your own. Your not that clever.

Props to Bill Hicks - the last great prophet...

[Gary McCabe]

Good one...

But you'll only give them ideas!

[Robert Ramsay]

Well done on the April Fool

...let's just hope Google aren't reading this and think what a great idea it would be...

[D.B.]

Goodness...

...quite the exclusive you've got here. I can't seem to find it anywhere else today ;)

[The Original Ash]

Spot on

I for one welcome my body-scanning, perv-picturing, advertisement-supplying April 1st Overlords!

[Daniel 1]

I, for one, welcome our new virtual masters.

Can we have more stories about nuclear fusion fuel prills made from our own poo, as well?

I, for one, welcome a pril-fuels story - even if it is a load of shit.

[Scott Green]

Reaally

That is all (have noticed a few others, will be keeping track!!!!)

[Anonymous Coward]

Phorm2

Apparently Phorm have countered this by patenting a system whereby children are intercepted at birth, tatooing them with a unique code that will track them through their entire life.

And hoping nobody will notice.

[Anonymous Coward]

Two words

Fuck Off

that is all...

[Dave Murray]

Scary

The scary thing is it almost sounds true. Until you read the bit about Google caring about user's privacy that is! ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Nice try

And a little satire to boot :-)

[The BigYin]

No apologies for strong language

In two words: Fuck that.

It's all very "Ghost in the Shell" if you ask me. Quick! Best get those attack barriers in place in case of a back-hack.

[Anonymous Coward]

April the 1st

Problem is, being google, this is utterly belivable.

But then....I saw the line about valuing privacy and new it had to be a joke.

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh No!

I don't have a dog, I'm gonna miss out on this one

[Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!]

Goats Pigs Donkeys

I thought they were too busy translating. ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

These booths

sound like euphemisms for the sort of place Fry met Bender. After all, real planning ahead can hardly avoid the realisation there are too many people. Digitised / atomised, ultimately the same thing isn't it?

[Orjan]

Good one

The scary thing is that I wouldn't put it past them. Today, though, I'll file it under "Well executed April Fools"

[GrahamT]

I'm doomed..

One look at my image and I'll be inundated with ads for slimming, pills, hair restorer and viagra. Oh, no change there then.

I make that seven 1st April spoofs. Ambassador, you spoil us.

[Anonymous Coward]

Errr...

Right, I've only read to the 2nd paragraph so far...but:

"Google is operating multi-million-dollar kiosks where registered Google users can create a reasonable facsimile of themselves via motion capture and digital photography and upload it to the company's servers."

Am I right in feeling worried about the social and political implications of the trend to voluntarily surrendering incredible personal details to big corporations? Booths? Regestration? Er....

Anyhoo, back to the article.

[Anonymous Coward]

ROFL

That was good. Very good...had me until the penultimate paragraph.

Hmmm...ODS?

*reaches for Patent App*

[Anonymous Coward]

Please...

..can I be digitised with a hard-on so I don't get sent any more Viagra ads.

[Sam Spencer]

@AC -

Depends if you can fit it in the booth, I guess?

[Kai Lockwood]

READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Google cribs Reg hacks... dooms humanity.

[M.]

This Line Gave it Away as a Joke - "Google cares about privacy"

Still funny, though!

[M.]

Others Abound

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/01/lhc_fifth_dimension_incursion/ has another one.

'Cheers!

[Denarius]

Too late !!

Uh, all joking aside, isn't this sort of thing what the last Bush administration wanted, along with Bliar and Co in The Blighted ? The ultimate Biometrics. Multi-terbyte HDs make the storage demands possible. After all, the concept of citizen is dead. We are mere consumers now.

To misquote Euripedes ?

In targeted advertising we live and move and have our being

Another case of reality imitating fiction. Not that many good AF this year. Good tries in El Reg though

[galbak]

typeing as a user, not a uber geek, in a geek job, like you lot...

who cares about googe privacy, i just enjoy google's aproach to adverts, and screen real-estate, i can enjoy and ignore google adverts if i see them, what i truly hate, as do lots of low level users like me, is banner adverts, lets face it, google uses targeted, text, adverts. who cares? we can ignore them, its the banner. java skript, full page pop ups, we hate..... id rather have googles descrete, ignorable adverts.

franc, not a uber-leet educated techy person.