US outfit whips out mp3 vibrator

Our female readers looking for an earth-moving experience are directed forthwith not to the San Andreas fault, but rather to the profoundly silly My Little Secret Talking Head mp3 vibrator - a "breakthrough in adult toys" that allows you to "download and listen to erotic audio fantasies or record your own for the ultimate in …

[breakfast]

IT and Vibrator news?

It rather seems that after IT news vibrators are the second major topic area on The Register.

It doesn't bother me, but I do wonder whether soon you'll have stories of the latest HP vs IBM benchmarks and get a hail of "but where is the vibrator angle?" responses.

[Charles]

Thigh-pod?

Wonder if it sounds muffled?

[Anonymous Coward]

DICtaphone

Given the voice record and playback features, replace your worn out analogue tape machine with one. Whether or not your secretary returns it to you after transcribing your dictation remains to be seen

[Anonymous Coward]

Ohhhh errrrr

Its got a USB port!?!

A. This must be the idea of Geek heaven a girl with a USB Port.

B. Chat rooms could get a lot more intresting

[Ian]

Hate to disappoint the Hackettes, but.....

Bergen the German says......

"Spread your Thighs, I love your thighs, I kiss your thighs...."

In a voice which I can only describe as: The bloke on the

Tax Office Helpline meets Johnny Bravo. If that turns women on,

I must have missed something along the way. I'll ask the Girlfriend

tonight for a second opinion but I hope she doesn't find it erotic,

cos' I couldn't repeat it without laughing loudly, which tends to spoil

the moment for all involved.

[Fluffykins]

Help!

I 't n b d h o

c n t r t e l o y t i g f

a u h o n f

[Daniel Winstone]

Not really portable as such

Sure for the (non- PC?) PC enthusiasts it's certainly a niche in the market though.

Now unfreeze me when they develop the fully interactive holodeck will yah, cus everything else before that is just mucking about.

[Norman Wanzer]

Benchmarks

If I remember correctly this is not the first MP3 Vibrator to be featured here. I expect The Register to be just as thorough as it is with all it's other IT gadget articles and post a review and comparison for all similar devices.

The categories should be wide ranging such as:

-Playback Quality/Audio Fidelity (both during use and just as a MP3 Player)

-High and low band frequency chart (like speaker EQ, does it vibrate more/stronger with bass or treble? Does it have a harmonic?)

-Software compatibility (both computer and, um... ergonomic)

-Hardware compatibility (does it work with an IPod?)

-Functional Quality (Is it good? Maybe a Time To Org [T.T.O.] benchmark)

Anyone else have ideas?

[Anonymous Coward]

Argh

That playlist site is a joke, right? Damn, I'm loosing millions every minute I don't go out there and exploit horny folks on the web. If you can sell stuff as laughable as that... and that Bergen dude is worse than the villains in Die Hard. Good he spends all day up on that mountain.

[Anonymous Coward]

i see they come in pink

So who said 'Women say no to pink tech toys' then ?

[Anonymous Coward]

Downloads

Will this create a new niche market in the podcast department?

[Lewa]

Ridiculous...

I had a go at listening to the French Boy one... I don't understand French, but he sounded wooden as hell. Let's... just not get started on the "Kinky Nurse" one. I'm a girly girl and French accents can make me weak in the knees, but just, just no.

$99? I'd rather get a £10 rabbit, and use the SitePal free demo to get a sample French accent.

[Anonymous Coward]

Personalized recordings

why not just leave a message for ya missus asking;

"what the hell ya doin love, why aint i enjoying this with you?"

[Anonymous Coward]

I don;t have an opinion on this

but I thought teledildonics was dead.

[the Jim bloke]

so why isnt this in the hardware section ?

Given the amount of space wasted on iphones etc, surely something intended to create an "enjoyable user experience" with a token attempt at innovation deserves equal respect ?

[E]

Dance music

Finally a use for repetitive rhythm unvarying dance club music.

[Gareth]

Bone conductive sound?

If you'll pardon the double-entendre, does this thing take headphones or does it make the sound audible through some kind of bone conduction through the entire body? That'd be interesting, and perhaps a way of making truly invisible bluetooth headsets...

[Annarella G.]

Italian Stallion ?

The italian stallion preview is really funny. Sounds like someone just like the first lesson of an Italian language course ;)

[Nick Pettefar]

Can you use it -

instead of a dictaphone?

Aural sex?

Coat?

[Olly Molyneux]

my tunes

Here's my playlist (if I was a chick, with really bad taste in music):

Good Vibrations (Beach Boys)

Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)

Land Down Under (Men at Work)

Come Together (Beatles)

I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles (John Lellett)

Something's Fishy (Dolly Parton)

Cherry Pie (Warrant)

Hokey Cokey (Anon)

and finally....

Take Me Out (Franz Ferdinand)

[Anonymous Coward]

Get a Pentium 4 processor in one of these..

..just as an excuse to stick the 'Intel Inside' sticker on it!