back to article Scientists conclude cats only have three personalities after YouTube clip binge

Seeking insights into cat behavior, scientists turned to the internet and discovered that domesticated felines exhibit either "playful", "agonistic" or "intermediate" behavior. Led by Noema Gajdoš‑Kmecová, post-doctoral researcher at the University of Veterinary Medicine and Pharmacy in Košice, Slovakia, the team suggests …

  1. TeeCee Gold badge
    FAIL

    Scientific method...

    ...says that it's equally likely that only those three types of behaviour are seen by humans as worth sticking on YouBoob.

    Sorry lads. Your sample is so biased it's unbelievable.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Scientific method...

      Hardly just the sample size, as the basically arbitrarily define two traits based on a few behaviors and then find a spectrum of expression of those traits.

      Funny thing, people may find when you map data across any two arbitrarily defined poles and divide your graph into three sections, it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all.

      But that is what happens when you take a tiny and non-representative sample size and try to infer causal traits from a statistical analysis way down in the noise floor.

    2. Bebu Silver badge

      Re: Scientific method...

      Has to be a contender for an "igNobel" prize.

      I might get a citation or two by letitng pussyGPT loose on a collection of Attenborough's DVDs and submitting the output to a gullible or mercenary journal.

      1. ravenviz Silver badge

        Re: Scientific method...

        I suspect you’re thinking of the feline AI rival CatGPT!

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Scientific method...

        "a gullible or mercenary journal."

        There is a difference?

  2. Eclectic Man Silver badge

    You mean these people got PAID to watch cat videos on YouTube!?

    <Shakes head in disbelief>

    Or maybe they got CAUGHT watching cat videos on YouTube and reckoned they'd be fired if they didn't publish a paper about it?

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Hey! I get paid for watching videos on yt. Only, my employer doesn't know.

    2. JoeCool Bronze badge

      I only clicked this article because of the pic used for it.

      But it wasn't linked to a video :-(

  3. Howard Sway Silver badge

    At least it's two more personality types than they found amongst YouTube "influencers".

    Only "irritating narcissist" has so far been discovered.

  4. Boo Radley

    My Feline Overlords

    After cohabitation for nine years with three feline overlords, all three got along fine. Then, sixteen months ago, I was tasked with finding homes for an additional three male kittens. I was unsuccessful finding new serfs for these junior overlords and ended up keeping them myself. Recently one of the youngsters has begun bullying the oldest one, causing her to fear using the home's common areas, which includes my bedroom and bed. I miss her company at night, I guessing I'm suffering from a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome, wherein I've become emotionally attached to my captor. Perhaps these scientist's study can give me insight to what I can do to alleviate the tensions in the home.

    Further exasperating the situation is that an additional two older overlords came to share our space just after Christmas. Thank dog we've got plenty of square footage here but the situation is far from ideal. Tensions are too high, and they seem to be getting smarter and more clever in the ways that they torture me. I think the only thing keeping me alive is my opposable thumbs, without which the overlords cannot get into closed rooms, either to get additional food or to attack me, their humble servant.

    1. Jim Mitchell
      Alien

      Re: My Feline Overlords

      Introducing new felines into a cat system that has achieved stability is asking for trouble. Sometimes it results in a new point of stability that is advantageous to all, sometimes it results in kitty kaos where nobody ends up happy.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: My Feline Overlords

        "sometimes it results in kitty kaos where nobody ends up happy, and everything winds up pissed on."

        FTFY.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: My Feline Overlords

        Introducing new felines into a cat system that has achieved stability is asking for trouble

        Not always true. It depends on several things:

        1. How old the cats involved are (resident and incomers)

        2. How gradually it's done [1]

        3. The nature of the cats involved (and the neutered status of the cats[2])

        Our cats range in age from 16 to 5 - we got the first two while we had an existing 17-year old cat (they got on fine). Then a year or so later, we got two semi-feral ex-farm cats (they got on fine with the older cats - it probably helped that they were ex-farm cats and used to living in a colony). Then we fostered (and later kept) a street cat with 5 very sick kittens (one died, the other 4 survived and we kept the mother and the smallest of the kittens). That introduction caused problems - the oldest female really resented that an intact queen, with kittens, had come into her house (cat society rules meant she was top of the pile in the female side of things) and the existing cat felt threatened (despite outweighing the mother by a factor of 3). Senior female never minded the kittens - just the mother. Even after we got the mother neutered. Youngest cat was probably 4-5 months old when she came in and senior female greeted her like her long-lost kitten!

        Our introduction process works like this:

        New cats are kept separately from the others (back bedroom with the door shut - well supplied with cat trays, food, water and toys. We go to and fro but the other cats don't get in and new cat(s) don't get out. This lets current cats get to know the new cats smell and also allows them to start to smell like us (from us handling/stroking them). We also (at one point) had a very tall pet gate that the cats couldn't jump over - the next step was allowing them to see each other through the bars but not physically interact. Then new cats are allowed out of the room in a supervised fashion. Once we are confident, we allow them out of the room unsupervised while we are at home. Eventaully, we leave the door open all the time - by that point, the new cats have that room as their territory to retreat to if needed.

        It's worked for us in introducing new cats but can take several weeks or months (depending on the cats involved). I've met plenty of people who say that you can't get groups of cats to live together and that they are, by nature, solitary.

        Which was, and is, utter rubbish. You just need to look at feral cat colonies - they volunarily form groups for protection and to make sure that there are sufficient hunters around. And in the home, as long as the people owning the cats have a clue what they are doing, it's perfectly do-able (within the boundaries of personality clashes).

    2. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Re: My Feline Overlords

      Not just your opposable thumbs. It's also their lack of internet access. Just imagine if our overlords were to get to see human videos!!!! Peoples! Peoples videos!

      Do not show your kitty anything on the internet via your tablet. KItties and tablets do not mix!

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: My Feline Overlords

      "Recently one of the youngsters has begun bullying the oldest one"

      Totally normal feline behavio(u)r when the youngster doesn't believe the nominal head of household (that would be you) is in charge. He is pushing the limits, trying to figure out where his position is in the pride hierarchy.

      Solution: Become the Boss ... at least in the eyes of the youngster.

      1. James Anderson

        Re: My Feline Overlords

        May work for dogs, but, in any feline hierarchy the best a human can do is “pet” which is preferable to “beast of burden” or “prey”.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: My Feline Overlords

          Nah. I'm the Boss around here, and all the critters like it that way.

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: My Feline Overlords

          best a human can do is “pet”

          Cats have a fairly defined heirarchy. It's perfectly possible for a human to be boss, they just have to know what they are doing.

          Much like with dogs but using different methods. And language.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: My Feline Overlords

        Over here, the cats may be top dog in the house, but in the garden, the hens, especially the oldest bantam hen is the top of the pecking order. The cats may chase pigeons, but the hens hold their ground and the cats give them a wide berth

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: My Feline Overlords

          Our cats and the laying hens ignore each other.

          The ferals will, however, take the odd meat bird if they can.

    4. Eclectic Man Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: My Feline Overlords

      Have you tried painting each cat a square on the floor to sit in / on? Come to think of it, there is clearly a PhD thesis waiting to be written about six cats assigning / competing for 'the best masking tape square in the house'. This element of cat behaviour seems inexplicable lacking from the article.

      Oh, and before you claim this posting should have the 'Joke Alert' icon:

      https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/if-i-fits-i-sits-experiment-shows-felines-also-sit-illusory-boxes-180977681/

      "It is no secret that cats adore sitting in anything square-like. Social media is filled with images of cats squeezing themselves into cardboard shipping boxes, baskets, suitcases, drawers, and plastic storage bins. In 2017, the social media tag #CatSquare showed multiple felines plopping themselves in square outlines on the floor made with masking tape."

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: My Feline Overlords

        I put a tape square on the floor here in the office right after reading your post Friday evening. The cats peered at it from all angles, decided it was benign, and now (early Sunday evening) are completely ignoring it. One of the Whippets was eyeballing it along with the cats. He pulled up one of the strips of tape yesterday morning, and then left it alone. I replaced the tape. The rest of the dogs didn't even acknowledge its presence.

        1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: My Feline Overlords

          How interesting. You have what is called a counterexample. You need to publish this in a learned journal, I'm sure that 'Nature' or 'Science' would be most interested. Have a pint to help you recover from the exertion.

    5. Kane
      Joke

      Re: My Feline Overlords

      "I think the only thing keeping me alive is my opposable thumbs, without which the overlords cannot get into closed rooms, either to get additional food or to attack me, their humble servant."

      Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

      - Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

      That quote dates itself a bit, given how many tins/cans now have ring pulls on them. But still, the sentiment remains.

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        Re: My Feline Overlords

        Are you saying cats can open the ringpull cans?

        This might explain the size of mine!

    6. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: My Feline Overlords

      Recently one of the youngsters has begun bullying the oldest one

      Are the cats neutered? Because, if they are not, then you introduce an extra level of tension in the group[1]. sadly, like with people, some cats just *don't* get along (our youngest delights in tormenting our oldest cat - but not to the extent that he's frightened. Also, I tell her off (in cat [2]) when she does and, since she's very human-orientated, she tends to listen to me. Over time, her behaviour has improved. We also don't feed them all together since food is another source of tension - 4 of our cats are perfectly happy to feed together, the other two, not so much. Youngest cat *really* objects to be given food or treats if the older tortie cat is around (to the extent of swiping at me even though she's my lap cat)

      There are several possibilities why: She may have disciplined the kittens when they were first allowed to mix and, now he's bigger, he's paying her back [3]. Or, she's got an illness and her scent has changed (cats have a much, much better sense of smell than us) because he doesn't recognise her scent as one of the clan. One of our previous group of cats (a brother/sister pair plus an unrelated one) the sister started spending a lot of time next door and would come home smelling of slightly rancid chip fat and cigarette smoke. Her own brother attacked her because he didn't recognise her scent. We had to keep them apart until she lost the scent - at which point he was quite happy with her again. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the box but a lovely cat otherwise.

      It's also rare for males to harass females [4] - they are usually much more interested in status & domination games with other males.

      [1] Neutering toms is the quickest way to reduce their aggression. Our 2nd male is about 7kg in size and formidably armed. I suspect that, if hadn't been neutered, he'd be a bit of a Greebo.

      [2] I speak fairly fluent cat - I can't do all the postures and, frankly, can't put my ears down flat against my head or lash my tail around. But I can do the vocal bits fairly well.. I also speak fairly good dog (with the same obvious limitations)

      [3] I've seen this in our current 6 cats - senior cat (a male) tormented second cat (a female) when they were both youngsters - he's 3 months older than her so was a good bit bigger. She is now (they are both nearly 16 now) bigger than him and, when she did get bigger than him, she did pay him back..

      [4] Females don't bother with all the posturing and shouting that the males do - they just go all-out to try to main the other cat. Presumably a hardwired protective instinct - why give an aggressor warning?

  5. Peter Prof Fox
    Thumb Down

    Thanks for the tip Register

    Gosh! Lucky I came across this 'cos the idea that animals can be either:

    a aggressive

    b wait to see what's actually going to happen

    c shy, afraid and defensive

    is scary to somebody who has enjoyed the company of cats most of his life. Does this mean I need cages, engagement protocols and cat-counselling, or will I get away with just a few cardboard boxes on the one hand and a vacuum cleaner on the other?

  6. ChoHag Silver badge

    Three states of catter

    Either they like you, or they don't.

    If they don't, you might have food anyway.

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Three states of catter

      So basically cats are just like people, we see the same variants with dogs and many other animals too. If you read Neil Shubin's views on human evolution (which I think are extremely accurate) then you can see that we, as humans, may see ourselves as different from animals but in fact we all started the same originally. Yes, we've evolved but so has everything else too and we share a lot of the same history. We didn't evolve to like cats but I suspect cats have evolved to like us because we like cats.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Three states of catter

        Cats like us for the same reason dogs do ... we have extra/leftover meat, and are willing to share.

        1. ThatOne Silver badge

          Re: Three states of catter

          Not necessarily. I had a cat which adored me, and I pointedly never ever fed her myself. Specifically to be able to make that point.

          I think cats are just like humans, they simply like or don't like somebody. Of course they are also unapologetically self-interested, like humans, but the nice thing is that unlike humans they don't make any fuss about it.

          Dogs on the other hand have complicated social requirements everything needs to conform to, much more complicated (even if it usually suits humans needing an dependable and obsequious work animal).

        2. Kevin Johnston

          Re: Three states of catter

          You missed the subset who can sense when a human dislikes/fears cats and so becomes the perfect seat/bed/scratching post

          1. Eclectic Man Silver badge

            Re: Three states of catter

            They are particularly attracted to people who are allergic to them - I know this from biter experience.

        3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Three states of catter

          we have extra/leftover meat, and are willing to share.

          Plus we have nice soft and warm places to sleep..

  7. Zippy´s Sausage Factory
    Thumb Up

    Procrastination?

    There was no procrastination involved. Someone worked out a way to have someone else pay them to watch cat videos. Full marks for that, I say. I only wish I'd thought of it first.

  8. StrangerHereMyself Silver badge

    Seriously?

    Are they writing up papers now by watching YouTube video's and distilling conclusions from these?

    What's the world coming to?!

    1. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

      Re: Seriously?

      Probably suggested by Le ChatGPT.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Probably not very seriously...

      But just like April Fools RFC's and papers on the neurology of zombies, the strictest adherence to form and protocol is essential.

      Funny idea, but weak math, to reference to foundational or prior research, poor study design, and no self aware mea-culpa to the limits of their own in-jest findings.

      Break to many of the rules at once, and you make yourself the butt of your own joke.

      At least it's not a meta study. Sadly it may be ingested by them in the future due to it's publication. Garbage in...

  9. John H Woods Silver badge

    Errm....

    If you assign things to one of three categories, you get three categories?

  10. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    If a cat could text you to say how it felt, it wouldn't

    1. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

      On the other paw

      If a cat could stand on your sleeping chest and lick your nose to say how it felt, it would.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: On the other paw

        If a cat could leave leftover rodent parts just exactly where you step when you get up in the middle of the night for a pee, just to show you what an awesome hunter it is, it would.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          And there you will stand

          Cold rat guts squishing through your toes, 3am wondering if this will happen enough times to get them to drop it just 18" further, just onto the tile floor, so you don't have to scrub the carpet for an hour on your hands and knees trying to erase the signs of their love before you lose your cleaning deposit whilst counting your blessings that at least they aren't leaving them on your chest in the middle of the night to let you experience waking up to the feline equivalent of a godfather move.

          Out of love. We accept them as they are because they accept us as THEY are.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: And there you will stand

            I own the place. No cleaning deposit required.

            The cat stopped leaving presents up here after a couple weeks[0]. I learned to step around that particular spot, even in the dark. I still do. I guess I'm still trainable in my old age.

            [0] Now he leaves them in the kitchen, conveniently right next to the trash, and only once per month or so.

        2. LionelB Silver badge

          Re: On the other paw

          I believe that the real reason cats bring half-killed small animals into the house is because they are embarrassed by your inept hunting and disembowelling skills, and want to demonstrate how it's done (half-killed to make it easier for you).

          (I saw this on YouTube so it must be true.)

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: On the other paw

            I rather suspect it's because they are sharing (returning the favo(u)r) and/or demonstrating that there is proper, fresher food to be had.

          2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: On the other paw

            they are embarrassed by your inept hunting and disembowelling skills, and want to demonstrate how it's done

            Our first cats (a brother and sister0 were really good hunters[1]. When we got the third cat who, despite officially being a farm cat, had been pampered to the extent that she had zero hunting skills, the male cat brought her in an intact adult blackbird and dumped it in front of her and then took a couple of steps back as if to say "go on, show us your technique". The little cat was pertrified..

            We managed to rescue the blackbird and kept it shut in our bedroom for a couple of hours, then put it on the window ledge. After a few minutes it flew away safely.

            [1] When they were about one we went through the 'summer of slaughter' - it was a rare day that we didn't wake up to something being crunched under the bed (we started putting plastic sheeting under there) or a small pile of unidentifed guts under the kitchen table. The male learnt the hard way that neither house martins or shrews are edible - both resulted in a kitchen floor that looked fairly horrific.

            1. LionelB Silver badge

              Re: On the other paw

              He, he. Yeah, had our fair share of bloody carnage. The most annoying thing, though, was when she'd deliberately allow a desperately terrified and maimed mouse to escape - usually somewhere completely inaccessible, like behind a cupboard or skirting-board (remarkable how small a gap a mouse can squeeze through) - and then completely lose interest.

              That stopped when new neighbours moved in next door with their six cats, who mobbed her territory. They're curfewed at 7pm, but she's mostly a house cat these days.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: On the other paw

        If a cat could stand on your sleeping chest and lick your nose to say how it felt, it would

        Or, like my oldest cat, side on my bedside cabinet and bash me on the head/arm/hand (delete as appropriate) until I wake up and give him treats. If that doesn't work, stomple up and down me until it does. At which point, the little tortie and then the youngest cat mysteriously appear. Although the youngster requires her treats to be on the floor (for two reasons - it means she cant see her hated rival (the tortie0 and because she leaves the crumbs for the dogs to cleam up - hoping that, when she leads the overthrow of the household, they'll join her..

        We think the oldest cat has got a lot of Siamese cat in his ancestry. He's bright enough and has a loud enough voice to make it believable.

  11. redpawn
    Boffin

    Can I observe them..

    and write a paper about researchers observing cats? I have a theory that there are 11 kinds of researcher:

    1 -The trend follower

    10 -The cat lover

    11 -The Trend following cat lover

    Now all I have to do is get funding.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Can I observe them..

      You'll never get funding. Your proposal is far, far too binary for this modern era.

  12. TVC

    My wife feeds and vets 35 cats. They suffer from three common traits:

    1) they burn cash at an alarming rate.

    2) they produce a large amount of shit.

    3) they are all bloody annoying.

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      That must be true love! If wifey cared for 36 cats she wouldn't be wifey

    2. jake Silver badge

      "1) they burn cash at an alarming rate."

      Would that be the cats, or your wife?

      "2) they produce a large amount of shit."

      Stop feeding them. No more problem.[0]

      "3) they are all bloody annoying."

      Would that be the cats, or your wife?

      [0] THAT'S A JOKE! Never withhold food from a cat! In extreme cases a healthy cat can occasionally go 10 days or two weeks without food and survive. However, it comes at a cost. Even healthy cats who don't eat for 24 to 36 hours should be considered at risk, and in need of emergency vet care. I won't go into the details of why (look up feline hypoglycemia and hepatic lipidosis if you want to know). If your cat skips meals for a day (24 hours) for no apparent reason, get it into the vet, pronto!

      Cats can go without water for about the same amount of time as you can, about three days. However, again it can come with a cost, specifically kidney damage or failure. As with food, if your cat refuses water for a day or so, it's vet time.

      Note that I am not a vet! This is not a diagnosis! Don't take the word of some random dude in an obscure techie forum on the Internet as gospel when it comes to the proper medical care of your critter(s)! Instead, ask your vet for verification. Your mog will thank you.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        I wouldn’t know if the cat is refusing water. He drinks it when I’m not there. I’ve occasionally seen him lapping it up, but it’s not something he likes to be observed doing.

        1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

          You can tell in the litter box. When it's dry, time to go to the vet.

        2. jake Silver badge

          If the water is dropping, he's drinking.

          If you're worried about evaporation, put another bowl out where he can't get at it, and compare the two until you've calibrated your MkI eyeballs to know the difference.

          Note that you should be changing his water at least twice per day, so evap will be minor regardless.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Happy

      You married The Old Cat Lady up the street? Wow!

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        You married The Old Cat Lady up the street?

        My wife jokes that she married the crazy cat man. She's not wrong either..

        She's why we are not knee deep in cats!

    4. Eclectic Man Silver badge

      @TVC

      Umm, what do you mean "They suffer from three common traits"?

      You are the one suffering, they are, by your account, having an excellent time.

      The only trait shared by all living things is that they won't do as they're told.*

      *(c) Copyright 2011 Eclectic Man, all rights reserved. This applies especially to children, although the USAfolk seem to have invented / discovered a juvenile 'disease' called 'Oppositional Defiant Disorder'** which amounts to pretty much the same thing. I cannot help feeling that children with ODD need a good listening to, but that may be the soggy, tree-hugging liberal 'wet' in me speaking.

      **https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/oppositional-defiant-disorder

  13. Surreal
    Boffin

    Science!

    In related news: scientists have proven that cats are either Small, Medium-sized, or Large. Among those groups they tend to be young, middle-aged, or elderly.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Science!

      There is also feral, repatriated feral, and domestic.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The should have used computer vision pose estimation to reconstruct the poses of the cats and clustered them. Feels very subjective to have a human literally watching videos and deciding what kind of behaviour is being exhibited

  15. sarusa Silver badge
    FAIL

    So wrong I don't even know where to start

    Cats have way more operating modes than this. There's sleepy mode, there's cuddly mode, there's goddamn pissed at you mode, there's hungry mode, there's zoomies mode, there's playful mode, there's grooming mode, there's let's kill something mode...

    They seem to have only looked at videos where cats interact with other cats and determined that 2+ cats interacting with each other can be 1) playful, 2) unhappy, 3) unsure. This seems to miss the grooming mode, sleeping together mode, and ignore each other entirely mode, among others.

    But what do expect from youtube.

    1. ThatOne Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: So wrong I don't even know where to start

      You'd expect that only periods worth showing off are posted there.

      This "research" is totally worthless since its data is skewed from the very start.

      Any extraterrestrial studying human behavior through YT videos would wonder how comes we haven't gone extinct yet, between the appalling stupidity and the tendency to carelessly do dangerous stuff.

      1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
        Alien

        Re: So wrong I don't even know where to start

        Extra-terrestrials would doubtless be watching the enormous number of war movies and 'anti-alien' sci-fi movies broadcast on terrestrial TV and decide that there was no way they would come within a light year of our exceptionally aggressive and violent species.

        Aliens are out there, they are just hiding from us until we evolve into a more responsible life form.*

        HHGTTG, drunk in charge of a time ship scene.

        1. ThatOne Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: So wrong I don't even know where to start

          > until we evolve into a more responsible life form

          Won't happen, heat death of the universe will come way too soon.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bloody thing from down the street insists on regularly parking it's breakfast on my back lawn.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Do you expect me to shit in my own yard?

      - The cat

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Our cat is called Schrodinger

    But only if you're looking at him

    1. BebopWeBop

      Re: Our cat is called Schrodinger

      Are you certain about that?

    2. Dizzy Dwarf

      Re: Our cat is called Schrodinger

      Mate had a cat was called "bin Laden" - nobody knew where he was.

  18. CorwinX

    Do these guys actally live with cats?

    Cat 101:

    Tail langage - most of cat communication amongst themselves is via the tail and body posture. Learn it.

    Cats, roughly speaking have five "modes":

    Curled up in circle sleeping = contended cat

    Awake = hungry ;-)

    Alert with tail in the air = looking for something interesting to do or mischief to cause

    Crouched down with tail low = hunting mode - kitty's spotted a mouse or something.

    Back arched, fur up, hissing - back away and be somewhere else ;-)

    It's not rocket science.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Do these guys actally live with cats?

      Tail langage - most of cat communication amongst themselves is via the tail and body posture

      I call it 'tailography'.

      And, if dogs are not used to it, it confuses the hell out of them because it's pretty much opposite to a dogs' body language..

      Dog - tail wags because it's happy or appeasing. Cat - tail wags because it's agry and *something* is going to lose patches of skin unless they go away

      Dog - ears go down to show appeasment. Cat - ears go down as a prelude to attack.

      Dog - rolls on it's belly to show submission. Cat - rolls on it's belly to thhat it's best weapons (claw) are facing the enemy.

      Fortunately, our dogs are all cat-trained and kmow what the various signs mean - especiallly when accompanied by the various noises. The still get nervous when youngest cat headbuts and fusses them - she's a pure black cat but acts more like a tortie than our actualy tortie..

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where is the romance ?

    If it was 100% unbiased video, then when two or more animals are filmed for long enough, there would be "makin whoopee" in at least a few of the videos.

    There is a societal moral filter in place on most public video sites, this means that any dataset harvested from public video websites is automatically biased. If your study starts with a biased dataset ...

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Where is the romance ?

      There will be no "making whoopee" if the critters are spayed/neutered.

  20. Blackjack Silver badge

    How about "motherly", when a queen is with her kittens, "needy", when a cat keeps bugging you all day and "I will hurt you if you get close"? self explanatory.

    Also there is "lazy" that many people believe to be a cat default state, because cats tend to be more active at night so at day they usually see them sleeping.

    Look is not like watching over REAL CATS would be that hard or expensive. Youtube is just gonna show you the stuff people uploads and that tends to be funny or cute cat videos or "Mean cat" videos.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      because cats tend to be more active at night

      The term is 'crepuscular' (the period just before nightfall and just before the dawn). They need *some* light to hunt by.

  21. Mr. V. Meldrew

    Litter Tray?!?!

    Get away with you. Litter trays, you can f**k that right off. As a kitten my Tzuki (prononuced suki) had a liiter tray for 2 weeks in the house. Her "droppings" aka "shit" smelt so bad I was phyisically sick. After 2 weeks the tray was outside the cat flap and later behing the garden shed. Now she shits and pisses on public land, for which I pay council tax for it to be maintaned. Yes, I guess some readers may not live in an "outside" cat home..... but you should of thought of this before having a pussy.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Litter Tray?!?!

      Our acreage belongs to the (mostly feral[0]) cats, but they share it with us in return for fresh water, a place to sleep away from the coyotes, and a little quality chow. They also share with the folks east, west, and south of us (all of whom understand cats). The cats pee and poop at the outer corners of the ranch, where it won't get in anybody's way ... and in the fancy rose garden and pool area of the asshole who lives just north of us. He hates cats, and they carefully return the favo(u)r.

      The idiot to the north is clueless. And has had a serious rodent problem for the couple decades that he has lived there ... Strangely enough, we don't, and neither do the neighbors to the east, west and south. I wonder why.

      [0] Most of them get trapped at least once for spay/neuter and basic injections (difficult or impossible to live trap a feral cat more than once) ... According to the vet, they probably titer out for things like rabies for as long as they live, which isn't long. Sad to say, the ferals are part of the food chain here in Northern California.

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Litter Tray?!?!

        ...hole who lives just north of us.

        Is it the Neighbours' Law, that there has to be one such neighbour?

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Litter Tray?!?!

        and in the fancy rose garden

        It's probably got nice soft, well dug earth. So much nicer on the paws :-)

        (Only the top cats in the area don't bury their waste, subordinate cats will always try to)

  22. Duncan10101

    No grey area

    My cat never falls into the middle category. She's very black and white, like that.

  23. Serif

    Oh long Johnson

    1. jake Silver badge

      Long-shaft Johnsons (and Evenrudes) are typically used as sailboat pusher motors.

    2. Updraft102

      Why I eyes ya.

  24. Big_Boomer Silver badge

    Scientists?

    One of my cats is currently "observing" me. He is sat about 6 feet away, quite contented (I'm getting squints) and observing whilst I work. The other is asleep next to the radiator because he is worn out after his morning zoomies. They (and the 10+ other cats I have previously shared my life with) have WAY more than 3 personalities. They are all unique and individual. All this "research" tells me is that these are not cat people,.... and probably not scientists.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Scientists?

      One of my cats is currently "observing" me

      I only have one within view - the youngest cat (black female, about 5 years old) - she's on my lap, purring away. And occasionally grabbing my arm if I'm not giving her enough attention. Or biting me if I give her too much..

      (She's the stealth tortie - acts very much like the sterotypical changable tortie)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Scientists?

        And occasionally grabbing my arm if I'm not giving her enough attention. Or biting me if I give her too much.

        I had a girlfriend like that...

  25. Tiffany

    Question...

    I have two adult male cats who are fixed so they can not make babies. We also have two school age kids and a new puppy. I say this to give you an idea of the family structure. The cats are also brothers from the same litter "litter brothers".

    One of them is clearly an "agonistic" cat. He chases his brother around the house. Is always pinning his brother down. Tries to chase his brother off preferential spots. He demands the family give him attention even if the family does not want to give him attention. He teases the puppy. He is always blocking the puppy. He chases the puppy around the house. However he has never hurt the puppy.

    The other cat does not fall into any of these three categories as far as behavior goes. He is more into sprawling out in his humans laps for long stretches of time. If none of his human laps are available to sprawl out in he has taken to pacing the house loudly crying.

    My question is what category does the second cat fall in?

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