back to article Bringing cakes into the office is killing your colleagues, says UK food watchdog boss

Every office has one – the inexplicably cheerful, kind and generous co-worker who brings in cake and/or biscuits and leaves them somewhere for their weight-sensitive colleagues to graze on. If that's you, stop. You're killing your comrades, says the chairwoman of the UK's Food Standards Agency, who reckons distributing …

  1. Piro Silver badge

    What a load of cobblers

    If you don't want to eat the cake, don't eat the cake.

    If you're that weak that you eat the cake even though you don't want to eat the cake, that's on you.

    We can't just kill what is just a bit of fun because some people want to project blame on others.

    1. UCAP Silver badge

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      Passive smoking is one thing that we can all agree is bad. However, there is no such thing as passive eating!

      1. Piro Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        Yeah, to compare it with passive smoking is insulting, many of us spent time as kids (and there are many that sadly still do!) in places with smokers, with no choice.

        Someone bringing in a cake isn't in the same ballpark.

        I understand the idea behind the line of thinking - peer pressure, cake, unhealthy; but it's simple - have some restraint. Unless you're literally being bullied - but that's a serious work environment issue, not the fault of the cake.

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          There are lots of cakes I simply won't eat because I don't like anything sickly sweet or too fatty. But it's also true of my nephew who has always preferred fruit over chocolate.

          1. dinsdale54

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            I, for one, am very pleased to hear that you won't eat your nephew.

            1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              I did try one, but they're not very niece.

              1. John H Woods Silver badge

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                No nibbling the niblings!

              2. Trigonoceps occipitalis

                Re: What a load of cobblers - Whiskey Cobbler

                Ingredients

                3 ounces whiskey

                1/2 to 1 ounce simple syrup, to taste

                1 to 2 ounces club soda, to taste

                Orange slice, lemon slice, or seasonal fruits, for garnish

                Cherry, for garnish

                What's not to like?

            2. James O'Shea

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              Needs salt.

              1. David 132 Silver badge

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                Fava beans and a nice Chianti.

              2. LybsterRoy Silver badge

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                NAh - needs garlic!

            3. Aussie Doc
              Joke

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              I, too, like kids but could never eat a whole one.

          2. RegGuy1 Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            If you wont eat them pass them over here...

        2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          One thing I hate is people going around with a tin or cakes, often they go these need to be eaten and not accepting no thank you, I often say no about 5 times until they get the message.

          1. John Hawkins

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            Would one of those people by any chance be called Mrs Doyle?

            1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
              Happy

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              No unfortunatley, although 15 years ago we had a less assertive Mrs Doyle who did lunches at the head office.

              Friday was bacon sarnie day (Microwaved but well it was supplied by the company so)

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                Microwaved bacon sandwich? That's horrifying, you savages.

                1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
                  Devil

                  Re: What a load of cobblers

                  Hay it was free and still miles better than a typical coffee shop microwaved bacon sandwich.

              2. Lil Endian Silver badge

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                Defo a different Mrs Doyle, the sandwiches would've been egg.

          2. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            What you do to put an end to it is accept their food, then while staring them in the eye, drop it in the trash. Then keep staring at them until they walk away.

            Course, I'm not big on workplace friends, so no issue for me. I'm there for a paycheck, not a social life.

            Others may not want to upset the desk next door.

            1. ScrappyLaptop2

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              I always waited until my next-cube neighbor got up for a moment, then put it on his desk.

          3. doublelayer Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            I can't say I've had that experience; while I've occasionally had someone bring around stuff, they have always accepted a polite refusal and more often just left the food somewhere and told us about it. I know my experience doesn't work everywhere, but I hope it's more common than yours. If someone did that to me frequently enough, I'd either play a game of counting how many refusals it took to make them stop or I'd just accept something and discard it, depending on how comfortable I was with the way they were doing it.

          4. Piro Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            Yeah that is irritating. Where I work, when people buy cake, it gets put out in the canteen and then you're free to grab some.. or not.

        3. jmch Silver badge

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          One place I worked I had a boss who was an excellent baker. She not only got a lot of (excellent) home-baked goods to the office, but also encouraged the whole team to bake (weird, but I was sort of OK with) and also pressured the whole team to bake their own cakes to bring to the office when it was their birthday ( which is absolutely not OK in my book)

          So I get its my choice to eat or not, but its also not OK to pressure colleagues to eat cakes / chocolates / drink alcohol etc

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        Reminds me of a conversation many years ago with a "vegetarian". He would criticise your lunch choices with a "That's bad for you!" while smoking a roll up.

        He wasn't even a real vegetarian!!! He claimed to be one, because he didn't eat red meat, only chicken or fish.

        Tw?t

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          One downvote....

          Hey, Steve K - is that you????

          1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
            Thumb Down

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            I imagine that the downvote (not from me) was from someone pointing out that ? isn't a valid wildcard in this context. Far better to put [ia] or just type what you meant. This isn't a school; you don't get punished for calling a twat a twat.

            1. Dave559 Silver badge

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              "Not a valid wildcard"? Pah, maybe they're still using AmigaOS? ;-)

              [The good absolutely terrible thing about regexp standards is that there are so many to choose from…]

        2. EVP
          Trollface

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          ”He claimed to be one, because he didn't eat red meat, only chicken or fish.”

          Well, chicken and fish are sort of vegetables.

          1. RegGuy1 Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            Well, chicken and fish are sort of vegetables.

            ... as are Brexit voters.

            [How many Brexiter downvotes will that generate?]

          2. Montreal Sean

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            I have a friend who used to be a vegetarian, except she ate poultry.

            Her reason? Chickens and turkeys are dumb.

          3. Norman Nescio Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            Did you hear about the chicken farmer who went out of business?

            All the chickens he planted died!

        3. jmch Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          Vegetarians eat vegetables....

          Humanitarians eat....???

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        "there is no such thing as passive eating!"

        You've not met my wife!!!

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      Add to this the sense of camerarderie that is fostered by sharing and communal dining (yes, this is measurable) and that includes people who don't particularly like cake like me. That's less cortisoid and other inflammatory hormones for the price of some calories, which can easily be burnt off by an extra few minutes walking,

      But this shouldn't be about cake but about general eating habits: the sheer volume of ready meals in supermarkets is proof of this. Making simple and reasonably healthy meals isn't that hard but too many people have either never learnt or have forgotten.

      1. Stork Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        This.

        The problem isn’t the weekly cake at work, it’s all the stuff inbetween.

      2. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        RE measurable:

        Let's test this theory by measuring the comradery generated by offering cake to a control group, and then measuring the response after offering carrots and broccoli to a test group (ducks).

        Fifty-odd years later I still remember a Dennis the Menace cartoon. He goes next door to get his usual cookie from Mrs. Wilson. But Mr. Wilson brings him a carrot instead, saying "Beggars can't be choosers." Dennis replies "Beggars can't be rabbits neither."

        1. LybsterRoy Silver badge

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          I think the ducks would be happy with either, as long as the carrots and broccoli are chopped up

    3. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      I don't know about this. We're social creatures: refuse the doughnut / drink, feel like a party pooper and be branded as a non-participant for wanting to look after yourself.

      1. Tom 38

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        When I was seriously dieting to get properly the right weight and be all healthy and exercise and stuff, I'd turn down the cake, but its not just turning down the cake, there was always cajoling to eat the cake "Oh go on, its just a small bit of cake" and more. It got to the point where if I knew there was birthday cake, I'd go take a ten minute break outside to avoid it. In big departments, cake is pretty frequent - it would be a weird week if there was not cake at least twice a week when we were all in-office, and now that we all go in on one day, there is always donuts and coffee at 11, cake in the afternoon.

        Its cruel, because if you're dieting, its not that you don't want to eat the cake. You desperately want to eat that fucker, but willpower to achieve your goals is stopping you. Willpower is the only thing that a diet works on, once you break that willpower you're much more likely to cheat again - so encouraging people to break their willpower is such a dickish move.

        Having said all that, I have no problem people bringing cakes in to work and the like. Please don't try to encourage people to eat it though, or shame them for not eating it. Don't be that forced frivolity person who tries to shame non-participants.

        1. tiggity Silver badge

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          Your go to excuse for avoiding cake, doughnuts etc. is to say you have health issues that prevent you eating them. Colleagues may then assume something like type 2 diabetes, but ideally will be polite & not enquire further, and if they do just politely say you don't want to discuss personal health issues (whereas in reality your health reason is just you don't want to be eating food that will help make you fat / fatter, is not good for your arteries, is encouraging damage to your teeth* etc...or if its doughnuts & you're me just that you find them such a vile combo of sugary fat flavours that trying to eat one would make you puke )

          * "Brits actually have better teeth than Americans thanks to free healthcare"

          Bit of a sore point on dentistry, in huge areas of the country nigh on impossible to get on the list of a NHS ("free / cheap dentist") & so people stuck with horrendously expensive private dentistry (or just avoid dentists to save cash)

          1. James Haley 2

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            My go to excuse: I'm sorry but I break out in fat.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              When offered a cigarette, my sister-in-law once declined, stating "I'm allergic to cancer. It gives me tumors."

        2. Little Mouse

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          Dieting really is cruel if you're addicted to overeating. You have to both eat AND be in control of your addiction 24/7. Smokers and drinkers ultimately have the option to go cold turkey, but you can't just "give up" food.

          How many recovering alcoholics would manage to stay sober if they had to have a drink each day, I wonder?

          1. MiguelC Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            Recovering alcoholics don't completely stop drinking, do they? It's what they choose to drink that matters.

            1. Stork Silver badge

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              Many do, as not at all is easier to control than a little bit.

              1. lglethal Silver badge
                Trollface

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                They give up drinking water, milk, coffee, as well? Man that's hard core. How do they survive?

                (That is what the previous Commentard was referring to, they still drink, just not alcohol...)

          2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            If you're addicted, you're addicted, though I've not come across food addiction as a medical condition.

            1. MiguelC Silver badge
              1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                Yes, as a psychological condition it's well known. But that does not make it an addiction in the same way that alcohol and nicotine do. Though, of course, psychology has a lot to do with both, particularly nicotine and the induced stress association.

                1. david 12 Silver badge

                  Re: What a load of cobblers

                  It's technically difficult to define "addiction", since it targets parts of the human physiology that exist for other purposes. As a result, the accepted definition of "addiction" now is that it's only "addiction" if it's illegal or has known harmful effects. As a result, opiods are "addictive" (illegal), but caffeine is not (legal).

                  It follows that things can be arbitrarily made 'addictive' just by making them illegal.

                  1. Lil Endian Silver badge

                    Re: What a load of cobblers

                    There's a difference between addiction and dependence. There is overlap, but from my layman's perspective addiction tends towards the psychological/neurological while dependence tends towards the physiological.

                    I'm more than happy to hear clarification from someone in a relevant field.

                    I'm not even going to attempt to bring legality into that.

                2. jmch Silver badge

                  Re: What a load of cobblers

                  "that does not make it an addiction in the same way that alcohol and nicotine do"

                  Yes, addiction to sugary foods, or to certain types of foods IS an addiction same as alcohol and nicotine, i.e. there is a physical addiction (when deprived of it the body initially reacts badly), combined with mental addiction ( a compulsion, driven by thought patterns built up over years or even decades, to get a 'fix' of whatever it is that the body is craving ).

                  Telling someone who has spent a lifetime eating unhealthy foods to just give them up in favour of salads is not much different from telling a wino to simply give up their tipple of choice. Sure, ultimately it can be resolved by willpower, but willpower is like a muscle, it needs to be exercised to be strengthened, and addicts are addicts because their willpower has been unexercised for a long time. That is why addicts need support to recover, and making fun of them for not having any self-control is both cruel and counterproductive.

                  1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

                    Re: What a load of cobblers

                    Agreed and I wasn't trying to downplay eating disorders of any kind: they often causes as much suffering for the patients and relatives as any kind of physiological addiction.

          3. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: Dieting really is cruel

            Why do you think it's DIE with a T on the end...?

          4. Lil Endian Silver badge

            Re: What a load of cobblers

            That's a good point.

            As for alcoholism, it's often very dangerous for an alcoholic to go cold turkey - to the point of possible fatality. The human body doesn't usually adjust well from 300+ units a week to zero overnight, slowly slowly is common advice from GPs, If the liver et al can handle a slow reduction, that's usually the way to go. If the liver cannot wait that long, it's probably too late. I am speaking broadly, so speak to your GP about your own situation if needed.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: What a load of cobblers

              “possible fatality” already comes from 300+ units a week

              On 4 bottles of wine a day, driving isn’t legally possible, and fatality is very possible…

              1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

                Re: What a load of cobblers

                4 bottles of wine a day? Will kill you eventually but lots of people do this for years before they realise there is a problem. But, in the case of treatment, the number of units will be reduced gradually to allow the body (and the brain) to adjust the biochemistry.

        3. Ideasource Bronze badge

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          A useful Will requires discipline tempering by the heat and pressure of temptation.

          After all the primary utility of willpower is to let you steer yourself beneficially, despite uncontrollable and often counter-to-your-course environmental variables.

      2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        I've never had a problem with that. There are things I like and things I don't like and if I'm not hungry I don't like to eat. There are times when I drink alcoohol and times when I don't. I respect that in others, what's so hard about it?

      3. Bebu Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        "a party pooper and be branded as a non-participant"

        Almost a definitition of sanity in thus world.

        "Sorry. I won't have a piece of your crypto cake but don't let me stop you."

        I definitely would politely decline cake proffered by Travaglia creations and probably move to another continent. :)

      4. seldom

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        If (Doughnut freshly fried)

        {

        While (not cool enough to to eat without burning mouth)

        {

        wait 5 seconds

        }

        eat

        If Ask ("Do you have some alcoholic drink to give me?")

        {

        Reply("Best friend forever")

        }

        else

        {

        Reply("Thanks for the doughnut, now fuck off because some of us have work to do and can't get paid for handing out doughnuts and alcohol free drinks all day.")

        {

        {

        else

        {

        Ask ("Why don't you have proper doughnuts?")

        If Ask ("Do you have some alcoholic drink to give me?")

        {

        Reply("I'll forgive you for the shitty doughnuts.")

        }

        }

        1. Dwarf

          Re: What a load of cobblers

          A good example of why the brackets should not be on their own line

          That was unreadable.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      > If you're that weak that you eat the cake even though you don't want to eat the cake, that's on you.

      I think your view is a little simplistic; I used to hold the same position as you until a number of years ago when I received a medical treatment requiring copious quantities of steroids. These drove me into a steroid psychosis, for which I was prescribed anti-psychotic medications. These, naturally, work by altering your brain chemistry, and often have significant side effects. In my case, it drove my appetite insane - I uncontrollably ate everything I could get my hands on, and by the time the problem was stabilized I'd gained 30kg (subsequently dropped, but with considerable difficulty).

      Having experienced massive differences in my personal drive to eat, I can readily understand that everyone has a different level of drive to over or under eat. So, I agree, that choosing to eat too much cake is "on you", but you must take into account that making that choice can be vastly more difficult for some people than it is for you.

      1. Piro Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        I'm sorry you went through that - my intention wasn't to belittle people with serious issues.

    5. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      Can always take in fruit as well, tbh before Covid for two of my birthdays I started doing just that.

      I found the fruit was often gone before the cakes.

    6. disgruntled yank

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      Did someone mention cobblers?

      https://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/cherry-cobbler/

      1. Piro Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        I could really go for a crumble right now.

    7. deadlockvictim

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      That's right: cakes don't kill people, people kill people.

      Oddly enough, Eddie Izzard springs to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZVjKlBCvhg

    8. sabroni Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      I bet adverts don't work on you either and I'm sure you've never felt pressured to do anything by anybody else in any social situation.

      This kind of facile, simplistic view of the world is pretty much useless in reality.

      Got a lot of upvotes from the Daily Mail readers though.....

    9. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      What level of socialism is attained by your government protecting you from a slice of cake at work.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: What a load of cobblers

        Cake is not banned from the office. Somebody made a suggestion.

        There are no gulag places waiting for people who offer a tray of cookies or a tray of Krispy Kreme.

    10. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Re: What a load of cobblers

      If co-workers simply brought in cake and left it in the lunchroom with a note reading, "Free Cake", that would be one thing. Ignoring that cake is 100% on you to do or not do.

      If co-workers bring in cake, and urge/harangue co-workers to "Try some of my aunt Lilly's cake -- it's great!", that's another thing. Co-worker pressure makes it less-than-100% on you to ignore the cake. It could be a form of workplace bullying.

      If a boss brings in cake ... that's yet a third thing. A boss-provided cake could be interpreted as an implied statement of, "Eat the cake, or don't get your desired working hours/vacation days selection/raise/promotion."

      As for mass-media advertising, it's like gambling addiction and alcohol addiction: some people are more susceptible to it than others.

  2. elsergiovolador Silver badge

    Cake

    I think author of this article wants to eat a cake.

    Go on. Open Deliveroo and get a big one.

    Nobody is watching.

    1. Peter2 Silver badge

      Re: Cake

      Do you think that the UK food watchdog is hoping that millions of people are going to book deliveries of cake to their office just to spite them?

    2. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Cake

      I'm actually not that into cake, my weaknesses are beer and burgers. I ordered one after writing this. I shouldn't have because wife came home famished and not up for cooking so I skipped dinner and she had a burger too. Deliveroo is a slippery slope.

      1. DJV Silver badge

        Re: Deliveroo is a slippery slope

        Obviously too much grease on the food in that case.

  3. darklord

    Clearly she isnt liked

    so no one offers her cake and biscuits in her office. no surprise there then.

    Just because they're there doesn't mean you have to partake.

    What about company's leaving fruit bowls out for free pickings in a warm environments with lots of coughing and sneezing around. In this climate that's a def nono. but no mention of that

    Sounds like a sore loser to me. maybe worry about dodgy restaurants and the supply of goods in 3rd rate convenience shops.

  4. Mooseman Silver badge

    no cake = revolution!

    I work in a school, virtually every day is some staff member's birthday, and traditionally they bring in cake/biscuits/fruit. If they tried to stop that, there would be a riot.

  5. cookieMonster Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    That’s taking

    the bloody biscuit

  6. the spectacularly refined chap

    Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

    Do you want to sign the card for XXX?

    Who's that then?

    S/He's the one four banks of desks along that ...

    Never spoken to them in my life.

    So are you signing the card?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

      As far as my colleagues know, I've never had a birthday.

      I'd like to keep it that way as well.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

        Hi Phil

        1. elsergiovolador Silver badge

          Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

          I've Been Waiting For This Moment For All My Life...

    2. Fr. Ted Crilly Silver badge

      Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

      Yeah, don't get me started on arseholes you don't get along with either...

    3. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

      No, I don't sign cards for people who I can say something to personally.

      I love sending birthday, greetings and post cards to people I don't see regularly but otherwise restrict them to very special occasions. Make it personal or special or don't bother.

      1. Joe Drunk

        Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

        The food bringing or the card signing doesn't seem to happen here on the left side of the pond. The last time I remember signing a card for someone was during my time as an IT support employee at a corporate travel agency with about 70 employees. We all knew each other so when you signed a card it was someone you interacted with regularly. No one brought cakes/biscuits or any other food unless it was a special occasion. Prior to that I worked in a warehouse with about 30 predominantly male employees and there were never any cards to sign or birthday cakes or any other food brought to work. No one knew anybody's birthday but we did enjoy pints on occasional Fridays at the pub.

        Fast forward to now as a consultant. No cards to sign or Birthday celebrations. We're all here temporarily so have little time for such indulgences. Occasionally some SVP will call us all to a meeting and there will be coffee, bagels and muffins. No one brings snacks to share with the team on a regular basis. This of course doesn't mean people don't bring their own snacks but the point is if you want cake or biscuits you will have to bring your own.

        @Excellentsword: My weakness is pizza & beer.

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

          Card signing happens when someone leaves, or someone has some serious health problem keeping them off work. Usually accompanied by a sturdy envelope for putting cash in. I’ve never seen a card for any other reason.

    4. Lil Endian Silver badge

      Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

      There's a good reason not to sign that card ~

      Bernadette: Well, there's this lady in our office who's retiring, and they were passing around one of those big cards for us to sign, but no one told me she was in a horrible car accident over the weekend, and what I was signing was not a retirement card, but was actually a get well card. So on the card, in the hospital, next to the woman who's clinging to life, are the words "Hey Vivian, you deserve this. And at least with you gone, no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge. LOL, smiley. P.S., Good luck, wherever you wind up."

      [Apols for a second TBBT ref in one day, too on the nose not to though!]

    5. Sp1z

      Re: Can we get rid of birthday cards too?

      Just start digitally signing them and write out the signature hex on the card.

      They'll soon stop asking.

  7. Roger Greenwood

    Some people...

    ... when they walk into a room, suck all the joy and fun out the atmosphere. Can we ban those people instead of cake? Would be great for morale (sorry, "mental health").

    I know the BOFH will have a better method of dealing with them, but some of us are too timid for that.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: Some people...

      I'm starting to think Professor Susan Jebb is one such person who doesn't get invited to such events that have cake on offer.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Some people...

        Well probably not from now on.

        I suspect she might find that attendance at meetings she organises drops off a bit too, if she gets known as "no biscuits Jebb"!

      2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Some people...

        Many respectable food watchdog bosses said that they weren’t going to stand for that sort of thing, partly because it was a debasement of fun & social interaction, but mostly because they didn’t get invited to those sorts of work parties.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Some people...

          Thank you. It's always nice when someone shoehorns in a quote from Mr Adams :-)

    2. Fr. Ted Crilly Silver badge

      Re: Some people...

      Ah yes the toxic damping cloud...

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Some people...

      Would be great for morale (sorry, "mental health").

      It was, for a short time, Well Being, but I believe the current fad term is "mindfullness" :-)

  8. Ryan D

    Oh for the love of kittens

    This presupposes that people don’t have the ability to self regulate and make informed decisions. What total bunk. Comparing this to something like passive smoking (which in my part of f the world is rather easy to avoid with all the prohibitions in place)is simply a joke.

    Let’s be honest, there are a good many number folks who simply don’t care for the majority of sweets and the like and shy away from them. There are other who will only indulge in the office as they don’t buy them outside / for home, and there are those who just eat anything they get their paws on.

    People will be people.

    1. Mike 137 Silver badge

      Re: Oh for the love of kittens

      "This presupposes that people don’t have the ability to self regulate and make informed decisions"

      The political elite has always thought this (which is why the franchise took so long to become universal). The reality is that they judge us by their own standards (witness the boozy parties with throw-ups and fights in Westminster during the covid lockdown).

    2. cybersheep

      Re: Oh for the love of kittens

      On the passive smoking front, yes for an adult I agree it should be relatively possible to avoid, but not so for kids. Every morning when I walk my children to school I see other parents smoking while they take theirs in, quite often with a baby in a pushchair too - those kids have essentially have zero choice in being exposed to their parents smoke.

      1. xyz123 Silver badge

        Re: Oh for the love of kittens

        Edit to be in line with the article:

        On the passive eating front, yes for an adult I agree it should be relatively possible to avoid, but not so for kids. Every morning when I walk my children to school I see other parents eating while they take theirs in, quite often with a baby in a pushchair too - those kids have essentially have zero choice in being exposed to their parents cakey habits.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Oh for the love of kittens

          Or the "pasty babies", ie young, not very well off mothers feeding Greggs[*] pasties[**] to their toddlers.

          * other brands may be available and the Greggs ones are probably "slices" or "bakes" since Cornwall decided to be assertive over the name of its "national dish" :-)

          ** Ginster abominations don't count, even if they are assembled in Cornwall.

          1. Norman Nescio Silver badge

            Re: Oh for the love of kittens

            Given that El Reg is looking to appeal to a left-pondian audience, perhaps it should be pointed out that Gregg's pasties are not pasties, but pasties, otherwise they might think that our eating habits are...unusual.

        2. doublelayer Silver badge

          Re: Oh for the love of kittens

          The difference, which I think you probably already know, is that if a person is smoking next to me, I'll be breathing in some level of smoke from them unless I set up a barrier or leave. If someone is eating next to me, I do not eat any of what they're eating by my proximity. There may be other problems, but it's much easier for me to breath something in the air that I don't want to than for me to put something I don't want to into my mouth and swallow it.

    3. Anonymous McKnowsnowt
      Pint

      Re: Oh for the love of kittens

      Not a huge fan of cake, more a fan of crisps and nuts, goes better with beer o'clock.

      1. Piro Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Oh for the love of kittens

        Crisps and beer is a combination I favour too.

        I'm more for savoury than sweet. Cheers!

  9. codejunky Silver badge

    Excellent

    "says the chairwoman of the UK's Food Standards Agency"

    If this is the greatest problem we face then this is a job that can be removed and free up tax payer money. Along with Jamie Olivers sugar tax idiots.

  10. Alex Stuart

    > But while we're on stereotypes, Brits actually have better teeth than Americans thanks to free healthcare

    Yeah, that's not gonna last long. From what I can tell, NHS dentistry is basically nonexistent these days unless an existing patient/customer.

  11. jdiebdhidbsusbvwbsidnsoskebid Silver badge

    Free healthcare

    "Brits actually have better teeth than Americans thanks to free healthcare"

    Point of correction, NHS (National Health Service) dental care in the UK is not free. Firstly, it's paid for through taxation and secondly, it's still not free at the point of service. Subsidised would be a better word.

    Some (children, pregnant people etc.) get genuinely free dental healthcare at the point of service. But most people don't. I pay about £60 every few months for a dentist to spend 10 minutes poking about and (usually) saying "that's fine, see you in 9 months". That's just a check up. On the same cycle I pay the same amount for a "hygenist" (not as fully qualified as a dentist according to my surgery when I queried this) to actually do some ongoing maintenance.

    Occasionally the dentist night tell me I need a filling or something (which is about £50 on the "free" NHS, or £180 if horror of horrors you want a tooth coloured one instead of a high contrast shiny black one)

    Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to pay this and grateful that I can afford it easily enough. I'm also a strong supporter of the NHS and I'm currently disgusted at how the UK government has allowed the NHS to decline to the state it is now. I'd be happy to pay more tax if the government would fund it properly - it needs paying for somehow. But to any journalist or non UK reader: don't call it free.

    1. blackcat Silver badge

      Re: Free healthcare

      "(which is about £50 on the "free" NHS, or £180 if horror of horrors you want a tooth coloured one instead of a high contrast shiny black one)"

      Seriously? That is a lot of money. Admittedly I don't know ANYONE who actually has an NHS dentist. Last time I had a filling at my dentist it was under £100 for a tooth coloured one.

      The NHS is good (or at least was) if you really were about to die. But if you have something minor or long term wrong then they are crap. Then those minor or long term issues get worse and then they have to fix the resulting critical issue which costs MORE....

      Anyway, someone here is leaving and has brought cake :)

      1. elsergiovolador Silver badge

        Re: Free healthcare

        I know someone who was at NHS dentist last week. He is now getting private appointment because NHS dentist made it worse.

        1. Insert sadsack pun here

          Re: Free healthcare

          There are very few "NHS dentists". Most dentists in the UK do both private and NHS work in varying proportions, and are private sector workers. Your friend might get their appointment subsidised by the NHS, but the next patient for the same dentist might be paying privately.

        2. moonhaus

          Re: Free healthcare

          "I know someone who was at NHS dentist last week. He is now getting private appointment because NHS dentist made it worse."

          Someone should tell your friend that the appointment will be with the same dentist.

          NHS or private payment has nothing to do with it, if you're not happy with your dentist change dentist. You can't blame your bad choices on the NHS.

          1. MJB7

            Re: Free healthcare

            Changing dentist almost inevitably means changing _to_ paying privately. There are very, very, few dentists taking on NHS patients these days (with the possible exception of children - but even that is dying out).

            1. werdsmith Silver badge

              Re: Free healthcare

              I am an NHS dentist user. You just have to go on a waiting list for 6 months if you want to go NHS.

              My daughter had three years of orthodontics, for which she thanks all you tax payers. Her perfect smile was free, not a penny spent by us.

    2. nobody who matters

      Re: Free healthcare

      ",,,,,,,,,Point of correction,................I pay about £60 every few months for a dentist to spend 10 minutes poking about ........."

      May I correct your correction?

      I don't know where you are getting the figure of £60 for an NHS dental check-up, but it is certainly not in line with current NHS charges. For some years there have three levels of charge for subsidised NHS dental treatment. Currently these are:

      £23.80 for a check-up or emergency pain relief or temporary filling

      £65.20 for permanent fillings, extractions or anything involving root canal work

      £282.80 for crowns, dentures or bridges.

      These are not cumulative charges, so anything that needs doing in preparation for work that comes under the higher charge band is covered by that single charge (ie. £282.80 will cover the full diagnosis, pain relief, root canal/extraction and crown or denture needed as part of that same course of treatment, you don't have to pay separately for each stage of the work).

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Free healthcare

      "I'd be happy to pay more tax if the government would fund it properly - it needs paying for somehow."

      I believe someone once implied that the NHS would get £350m a week extra. I'm sure that must have been true. It was on the side of a bus :-)

  12. ChoHag Silver badge

    "Other people are making me fat"

    Put. The. Fork. Down.

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      And she should also

      Shut. The. Fork. Up.

  13. Dabooka

    What a load of bollocks

    Where I work I must hear as many people declining due to diets or whatever as I see indulging. Or maybe having a half of slice etc.

    Never a problem we all know. If you don't want to eat it don't eat.

    Likened to passive smoking? FFS

  14. Vikingforties
    Coat

    The cake is a lie!

    Cave Johnson here.

    When Aperture Science bakes we don't leave things to chance. We pack 23% more calories per calorie into our baked goods.

    Try getting around that, humans! We're done.

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: The cake is a lie!

      Combustible lemon cake. Yum.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Re: The cake is a lie!

        I remember a BBC Christmas lecture where the presenter dipped some chocolate cake in liquid oxygen, and then set fire to it as a demo of how many calories it contained.

        It's impressive to see a slice of cake go up like magnesium ribbon!

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: The cake is a lie!

          Sugar as fuel makes for some good pyrotechnics. Mixed with ******** it create a near explosive rapid combustion.

          Redaction for obvious reasons.

  15. Howard Sway Silver badge

    what you get advertised is chocolate and not cauliflower

    Even if you started wrapping cauliflowers up like chocolate in brightly coloured foil packaging with cartoons on it, I still don't think there's much room to display many of them by the checkout, or that anyone feeling a bit peckish is going to casually buy one to eat on the bus. What would the advertising look like? "New! Cauliflower-Zero. The cauliflower you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite!"

    Maybe chocolate coated cauliflowers might get folks interested.

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: what you get advertised is chocolate and not cauliflower

      Maybe chocolate coated cauliflowers might get folks interested.

      I believe you can get chocolate coated broccoli for kids.

      1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

        Re: what you get advertised is chocolate and not cauliflower

        If you want kids to eat broccoli, you put cheese on it. Lovely lovely melted cheese.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: what you get advertised is chocolate and not cauliflower

        I seem to recall a fad for chocolate covered sprouts at some point in the past.

        I like chocolate. I like sprouts. But not on the same plate, never mind as a "fusion" :-(

    2. Lil Endian Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: what you get advertised is chocolate and not cauliflower

      Maybe chocolate coated cauliflowers might get folks interested.

      Much like Glaswegians were encouraged to eat healthier by whacking batter over a Mars Bar!

      [Icon: gotta wash it down with something!]

  16. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Other views are available

    says the chairwoman of the UK's Food Standards Agency

    > Speaking to The Times in a personal capacity, not on behalf of the watchdog she runs

    So in reality just another pub-level opinion.

    File under: ignore.

  17. Repne Scasb

    Passive smoking? Let's investigate

    I have done a scientific study and despite using several different types of cakes in several different office locations, at no point did the cake move towards me. Several colleagues verified this. With 100% reproducibility we had to move to the cake and actively eat it. At no point did cake enter our bodies without active deliberation on our part, so I am at a loss (well, not in the calorie sense) to see the equivalence with passive smoking. I'll keep trying though.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Passive smoking? Let's investigate

      Really? I found that the cake gradually diffused into the work environment.

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re: Passive smoking? Let's investigate

        Gradually?

        Wifey: We've received this "great" Belgian chocolates! Would you like them? - Evil me: Ugh. Don't be shy, just bring them to the office.

        And, apparently, they diffused instantly into the work environment. Bring to the office is a great method of food disposal.

    2. Piro Silver badge

      Re: Passive smoking? Let's investigate

      Definitely one that warrants further investigation. I look forward to the peer-reviewed study.

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Passive smoking? Let's investigate

        I look forward to the beer-reviewed study!

    3. moonhaus

      Re: Passive smoking? Let's investigate

      "I have done a scientific study and despite using several different types of cakes in several different office locations, at no point did the cake move towards me"

      It's not cake that's the real danger, it's blacmange from the planet Skyron.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Passive smoking? Let's investigate

        >"I have done a scientific study and despite using several different types of cakes in several different office locations, at no point did the cake move towards me"

        Well obviously not while you're watching at them.

        They only disapear when not being observed - like leftover pizza in the fridge

  18. TRT Silver badge

    Cake is bad, m'kay.

    Don't do cake. Cake is bad.

    M'kay?

    1. blackcat Silver badge

      Re: Cake is bad, m'kay.

      Cake, its a made up drug!

      1. Potemkine! Silver badge

        Re: Cake is bad, m'kay.

        Especially space cake. Don't bring one at work, it could have an impact on productivity.

        1. Joe W Silver badge

          Re: Cake is bad, m'kay.

          Yeah, don't want to be too productive

      2. Pete 2 Silver badge

        Re: Cake is bad, m'kay. ... quick promotion

        > Cake, its a made up drug!

        So is the plan to bring in a "doctored" cake the day before the mandatory drug tests and offer it to people in more senior roles?

        1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

          Re: Cake is bad, m'kay. ... quick promotion

          So is the plan to bring in a "doctored" cake the day before the mandatory drug tests and offer it to people in more senior roles?

          Unless the management are paying more for the proper tests, poppy seed cake would be very effective and require no doctoring. Not, of course, that I'm suggesting doing anything nefarious.

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: Cake is bad, m'kay. ... quick promotion

            Washed down with a hemp smoothie.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cake is bad, m'kay.

      Cake is bad.

      Agreed. Badly affects the Shatner's Bassoon* region of the brain, and can cause massive water retention around the cervical spine, known as 'Czech neck'. Shouldn't be allowed anywhere, let alone in the workplace...

      * With apologies to Brass Eye <coughs>

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Cake is bad, m'kay.

        The scary thing is that there are people in the workplace who have been to university and are probably on their second or third proper job who were born AFTER South Park.

    3. Lil Endian Silver badge
      Big Brother

      Re: Cake is bad, m'kay.

      You are Phil Collins and I claim my fiver!

      PS. Do you know where your children are?

      [Icon: that is Phil right there, Shirley!]

  19. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Big Brother

    This is getting out of hand

    Big Brother is wanting to govern our lives every minute of every day[1]... No mention of self control or having some cake and not having a desert later.

    I wonder if this dictat applies to gluten free zero sugar cakes? That would probably blow their tiny minds into outer space.

    [1] not quite as bad as a proposed law in Texas making it mandatory for all food labelling to state that 'no by products of abortion were used in the making of said item' which does not happen because we are not cannibals are we?

    no matter how batty we think our politicans and civil servants are, they are just not in the same league as many on the other side of the 'pond'.

    1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Pirate

      Re: This is getting out of hand

      gluten free zero sugar cakes... have you seen the list of chemicals they use to substitute for the missing goodness? And the side-effects of those chemicals?

      I'll take actual sugar over aspartame any time.

      Try to cut back, sure, but replacing it with other shit is not good.

    2. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

      Re: This is getting out of hand

      No such law proposed in Texas. The closest law to that in the US is California's Proposition 65, which requires that anything that may have something that has thr slightest chance it can cause cancer be labelled as such. As a result, everything sold in California has a Prop 65 label. In California, cake causes cancer. So do washing machines, condoms, and any other consumer product. If you want to eat cake, don't eat it in California or you'll get cancer. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if cancer treatment drugs don't have s Prop 65 label.

    3. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: This is getting out of hand

      I wonder if this dictat applies to gluten free zero sugar cakes?

      What dictat are you referring to? A person speaking to a newspaper giving her opinion in a personal capacity is a dictator?

  20. Chris Miller

    It appears Susan Jebb watched an early episode of Brass Eye and concluded it must be a documentary.

  21. ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo Silver badge
    Coat

    Save applied cake science

    I have the theory, that the last piece of cake doesn't get eaten,

    it is cut in half, and only a half is taken;

    the remaining half becomes the new last piece of cake.

    In countless experiments, my theory held up much more often than not.

    1. disgruntled yank

      Re: Save applied cake science

      Zeno's pair o' bites?

    2. 43300 Silver badge

      Re: Save applied cake science

      Ah, but what happens eventually is that after being divided several times, the last bit gets snaffled by somebody when they think nobody else is watching!

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Save applied cake science

        That's usually me, albeit while making a fresh cuppa.

      2. Lil Endian Silver badge

        Re: Save applied cake science

        I cut the piece of cake in half, but take the last piece, leaving the penultimate chunk. Creates quite the conundrum to a stoned mate, I can tell you :)

  22. Winkypop Silver badge
    Alert

    What, what?

    Restrict cakes?

    But what about hot sausage rolls, spring rolls and party pie Wednesdays?

  23. Fazal Majid

    Innumeracy

    I fail to see how only 1/3 or 33% of Americans are overweight but 2 in 5 or 40% are obese, which one would presume also means overweight.

    1. graeme leggett Silver badge

      Re: Innumeracy

      33% of Americans are overweight

      40% are in the next bracket - obese

      1. DS999 Silver badge

        Re: Innumeracy

        It is still not written clearly. Is it that 33% are overweight, 40% are obese, and the remaining 27% are normal or under weight? Or is it that 33% are overweight, and of those 40% are obese?

        Depending on what definition they are using for "overweight" (my BMI is >25, but primarily due to lots of muscle rather than the small amount of fat I have around the middle) I could believe either one is what was meant.

        1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

          Re: Innumeracy

          BMI is a horrible way to measure whether one is obese. For my height of 6 foot 4, BMI says I should weigh 178lbs. When I were a lad of 18 and in the military, doing all those young troop exercises and whatnot, I weighed 190lbs and looked scrawny. My face looks practically skeletal in old photos. If I weighed 178lbs I'd look like an anorexia ad. Mind you, I am overweight (being in your 50s will do that) but at 225lbs the Dunlap* I carry is for a motorcycle, not a car, and my waist size is smaller than my inseam. While overweight, I am far from obese but according to the BMI scale I should be fitted for a scooter and a moomoo.

          *We Americans refer to pot guts as a spare tire, because our bellies Dunlap over our belts.

    2. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: Innumeracy

      In medical terms 'overweight' is the stage before 'obese', and that is the stage before 'morbidly obese'.

      1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: Innumeracy

        and that is the stage before 'morbidly obese'.

        which is the stage before Mr Creosote.

        1. Dave559 Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: Innumeracy

          "Just one waffer-thin mint?"

      2. Craig 2

        Re: Innumeracy

        Or, In medical terms overweight is a range rather than a boolean...

  24. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Terminator

    I should just like it on record

    That at no time when I supplied a cake for the office was I ever trying to kill anyone.

    Oh no sir. Not me.

  25. hatti

    Very sensible indeed

    I thinks it's a very sensible idea to ban cake from the workplace, it's very important to maintain a clean working environment especially with IT gagdets and gizmos and I suspect the same applies to scientific laboratory settings where cleanliness will impact the outcome of experimentation.

    Oooh look! Emma from accounts has just brought in doughnuts (om nom nom !!!!!)

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Very sensible indeed

      I suspect the same applies to scientific laboratory settings where cleanliness will impact the outcome of experimentation.

      In some labs the outcome of experimentation may affect the lethality of the cake.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: Very sensible indeed

      Turn over your keyboard and tap the back, see if you can free enough detritus to compress into a Jordan’s bar.

  26. TRT Silver badge

    I brought home made cake into work. It was much appreciated.

    The goodness of the cake spoke for itself. I used self-praising flour.

  27. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge
    Happy

    Killing my colleagues with cake?

    I hadn't realised that was a feasible option. I'd been contemplating more BFH-inspired approaches, but that sounds like a lot less effort.

  28. Binraider Silver badge

    How to discourage returning to the office, even more...

    There's little joy in most workplaces. Psychological condition is arguably every bit as important as physical.

  29. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Demolition Man

    Ah, cake is not good for you, and it's been deemed that anything not good for you is bad and hence, illegal

  30. Rich 2 Silver badge

    Yes but….

    “Bringing cakes into the office is killing tor colleagues”

    Have you considered that some of them deserve it?!

  31. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    stop. You're killing your comrades

    Did it ever occur to you, that this is indeed my aim?

  32. 43300 Silver badge

    "But while we're on stereotypes, Brits actually have better teeth than Americans thanks to free healthcare,"

    Best of luck finding an NHS dentist who is taking new patients these days. They are nearly as rare as rocking horse shit!

  33. Daniel Hill

    My boss saw this reported on BBC News and expressed his disappointment that, given our team's history of being somewhat rebellious and contrarian, nobody had supplied cake that day in response.

    Needless to say, the issue was corrected by lunchtime!

  34. xyz123 Silver badge

    Terrible nasty horrible woman doesn't like the cakes people bring into the office, so says NO-ONE should have cake at all. ever.

    I'd ask her what foods she really likes and what she hates.

    And only solely bring in stuff she hates.every.single.day.

  35. jollyboyspecial Silver badge

    Why are so many public servants apparently compete idiots? Or is it that maybe getting a job like stop you from thinking before you open your mouth? Which on further thought is still an idiotic thing to do.

    Passive smoking is not something you do out of choice. You can't passively eat cake. It's definitely something you do out of choice. So if she's telling us that if somebody offers her cake then she is forced to eat it then clearly she needs help. Or is the on the other hand suggesting that she has willpower but the rest of us have not?

    However you cut the cake, she's an idiot.

    1. nobody who matters

      I have a belief that a lot of people become civil servants because they can't cope with a 'proper' job in the real world.

      And regardless of whether they are a civil servant or not, some of them have to keep exercising their mouths, otherwise their brains might start to work.

  36. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Pint

    IF I wanted

    to kill my colleagues, there are far quicker, simpler, cheaper, more reliable and more denailable options than feeding them too much cake.

    An open window perhaps.... next to the spot where the carpet is'nt nailed down properly (I needed some nails for another project)

    Or that faulty lift shaft door when everyone is in a rush to get home ( what fun someone can get upto with a nail shorting the door switch)

    Or the smoking shed in the car park.. that somehow got full of petrol fumes.....(amazing things nails)

    Although I am saving the best until last...... this years easter decorations will involve our cheif mangler....(and some nails)

    <<<off to the pub after reading far too much BoFH for his own good

    1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

      Re: IF I wanted

      You swing a hammer for a living, don't you? I say this because all your solutions involve nails.

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: IF I wanted

        No.... several things I use at work are an extremely sarcastic wit, a cattle prod and a Thor number 2 copper/hide mallet(thrown usually.. as the victim as run out of range of the cattle prod)

        I'm not allowed to make solutions any more.... not since the day someone dropped the laptop into one of the chemical treatment baths.. and then made to retrieve it...

  37. herman

    Cauliflower

    I think cauliflower would be one of the easiest habits to break. Cauliflower cakes! Anyone? Anyone?

  38. Pirate Dave Silver badge
    Pirate

    "Every office has one – the inexplicably cheerful, kind and generous co-worker who brings in cake and/or biscuits and leaves them somewhere for their weight-sensitive colleagues to graze on."

    No, "every office" does NOT! Dammit, I knew I shoulda took that other job so I could have been eating cake and cookies, maybe even pies, all these years. Manufacturing is no place for civilization. Bummer.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bugger.

    I used to accept cakes as bribes for getting project work done a little faster than might otherwise be the case. Usually shared them around because I didn't want to hog them all for myself.

    Fun while it lasted.

  40. jglathe
    Mushroom

    Life is dangerous.

    Free will and all that

  41. Jeff Smith

    This is by far the most Daily Mail comment section I've ever read on here.

    "THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR CAKE!"

    No one is taking your cake, relax.

    1. Lil Endian Silver badge

      Sooo....

      ...you read the Daily Mail.

      I'm sure it'll be work out for the best. Here, relax, have some cake!

      1. TRT Silver badge

        The comments section of the Daily Mail...

        aka "The bottom half of the internet" is a place of endless amusement.

        Two examples:

        On the recent rail strikes...

        "The unions have to realise we are not living in the 1970s anymore. Their working practices are outdated. The railways need to be dragged into the 20th Century NOW!"

        and on one of their "The Internet is perplexed by these maths questions" pieces...

        "This is easy for those of us with double-digit IQs".

  42. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    This was covered on Radio 4 on Thursday.

    The presenter took a mic out into some of the other program offices to see what went on there. Most places seem to have "cake" table or desk where they get put fr others to snack from. One Journo claimed it was a conspiracy encouraged by upper management to get staff more hyper on a sugar rush and make them more productive. I nearly spat my cake out when I heard that!! They should place safety warnings on lines like that so I can pull into the hard shoulder and not get half-eaten cake all over the windscreen!!!

  43. Snowy Silver badge
    Joke

    Promotion

    Killing of your colleagues is one way to get that promotion and this way you do not need to supply the roll of carpet and some lime, I'm sure Simon would approve.

  44. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Nobody ever gained a pound eating MY cake!

    They lost a few pounds though, rather quickly, and with a pained, surprised look because there wasn't a speck of chocolate anywhere.

    Nobody ever remembers that exlax also comes in tablet form, meaning all sorts of non-chocolately treats can deliver the same gut punch

    So many icons to choose from, but I'll go with "surprised."

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We used to have someone who brought in cake

    and I'm sure it was only a coincidence that there was an ambulance called to office on the day she brought in results of her strangest experiments – spam and pineapple upside down cake

  46. TooOldForThisSh*t

    Healthy Living ?

    Many years ago the company (USA) I worked for had annual Health & Wellness events where everyone attended. We all got our blood pressure checked, weight and etc. Skin cancer screening too if someone wanted. Lots of brochures, some swag and a piece of cake. The kind of cake with a 1inch layer of frosting on top. When I pointed out that a granola bar or apple would have been more in keeping with the topic of the day, I was called a "kill joy" by the organizers :(

    Those events ended when the company was reorganized and sold to another company. Obviously the new owners didn't care about "Health & Wellness" of their new employees :)

  47. TeeCee Gold badge
    Holmes

    Deduction.

    One thing that this tells us is that the Chairthing of the Food Standards agency is a fat bastard who suffers from an almost total lack of self-control.

  48. martinusher Silver badge

    You soon know what's desirable and where to leave it.

    The problem I've had is that you don't bring enough for the locusts. If the stuff's any good then it will disappear in seconds.

    But this isn't about the article. The article is telling us that feeding treats to our colleagues is unhealthy, its killing them. We should just spend 8 hours a day in our cubes eating health food in limited quantities, or something like that. After all, 40 hours a week sitting hunched over a computer, that's not unhealthy, is it?

  49. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Boris - stuffing his face

    even after his brush with death

    Boris Johnson's brush with death when he caught COVID-19, which he attributed to being "way overweight."

    "A butler secretly brought around £27,000 of luxury organic food into Downing Street for the prime minister,"

    https://www.tatler.com/article/boris-johnson-carrie-symonds-daylesford-hamper-luxury-food-deliveries-downing-street

    https://metro.co.uk/2021/05/22/butler-smuggled-27000-of-organic-food-into-downing-street-for-boris-14628328/

    May be JCB will fix him up with a custom mobility scooter when he becomes too obese to get about

  50. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Pint

    Ambushed by a cake

    Tory MP says Johnson was ‘ambushed with a cake’ on his birthday

    Conor Burns’s attempt to defend the PM over No 10 parties inspires mirth on social media

    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/jan/26/ambushed-with-a-cake-defence-of-boris-johnson-inspires-mirth

    icon: drinks are in the fridge

  51. EBG

    and every part of the public sector

    says it's too short of funds to do its job. There's one salary we could do without paying for.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe we need an Offline Safety Bill

    as much as we need as an online one.

    Oh wait, we don't need either.

  53. Tron Silver badge

    Rebel! Eat Cake!

    I smell the nudge unit at work. In response to this, I shall be buying a large chocolate cake this week, and humbly suggest that this should now be known as Cake Week in perpetuity.

    For the record, I exercise regularly and have a below average BMI.

    Maybe it is time all government ministers and government scientists were regularly weighed and placed on strict diets if they are obese. After all, they have very important jobs and must remain healthy for the nation!

  54. MrGreen

    Great Distraction Susan

    So Susan doesn’t want to do anything about nearly every processed supermarket product containing seed oils or massive amounts of sugar that’s making people ill or obese, so blames it on office staff?

    Great distraction technique.

    Apart from meat, fruit and vegetables, try buying something from your chosen supermarket that doesn’t contain toxic seed oils. Top tip, vegetable oil is not made from vegetables.

  55. John Savard

    An Error of Analysis

    I could accept that people need an environment that supports their choice to eat a healthy diet. And so if more people brought in lettuce or whatever to snack on instead of cake, those people might be helped.

    However, many people don't feel that way.

    But the thing in the article that made me think that the people saying this had lost their senses was right at the end.

    People don't prefer chocolate cake over cauliflower because there are more advertisements on TV for chocolate cake. This isn't food industry brainwashing at work. These are the innate food preferences that are natural for people; some people have struggled against those preferences after learning that some foods are healthier than others. Of course, ever since agriculture started, it's been too easy to make what we like, so that our preferences are out of sync with what's healthy.

    When meat and calories were hard to get, and there were no refined sugars, our preference for fats made us eat enough protein to survive, and our preference for sweetness got us to eat healthy fruit.

    If you think the source of the problem is TV commercials, you're not going to make any real headway in solving it.

  56. Citizen99

    Nanny State-ist leave my cake alone!

  57. Postscript
    Meh

    Better cake than Covid

    Why worry about getting fat from cake when your coworkers prefer to give you Covid instead? A gift that lasts a lifetime and may contribute to 100% weight loss.

  58. rototype

    Used to happen a lot pre-Covid

    Now it's just occasional. People would bring in cakes etc for their Birthdays and put them in the communal eating areas. Generally if I knew the person I might indulge - problem was always getting to it before it was all gone.

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