back to article The CES tat bazaar: Bike desks, AI-powered bird feeders, and the smelloverse

As we lumber into the new year, corpulent and distended with wallets emptied from the excesses of the festive period, we now have CES 2023 to deal with – the tech tat bazaar once known as the Consumer Electronics Show. Launching today in Las Vegas, the expo once boasted 200,000 attendees but the pandemic hit the event hard, …

  1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    Acer's charging bike

    I'm sure that'll work about as well as all those gym club subscriptions.

    On the other hand, I'd take one for surviving the zombie apocalypse, gaming in peace from my underground bunker while the shuffling hoards decompose above.

    I just need to find a Cheetos dispenser and I'll be good to go . . .

    1. Headley_Grange Silver badge

      Re: Acer's charging bike

      They've had them in MacDonalds for a while - so no need for Cheetos.

  2. Howard Sway Silver badge

    the world's most expensive bird feeder

    and they couldn't even think of making it send out a tweet when it takes a snap.

    Mind you, surely being CEO of twitter makes you the world's most expensive bird feeder right now.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: the world's most expensive bird feeder

      Yeah, Elon's Robin the company of its value

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: the world's most expensive bird feeder

        Tone the crows!

        Sorry I got confused in my old age & blurred the Acer bike/desk with the bird feeder into one device.

  3. dan_k

    El Reg remember when Viz invented a better dual-action bike?

    https://www.facebook.com/VizComic/photos/a.115083725219750/3012768715451222/

    1. twellys

      +1 ROTFL!

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        WTF?

        I'm guessing that's the arse cleaning contraption (FB - Blocked & I wont have it on my phone).

    2. RobDog

      Clag-gone

      I know what that is without looking. In my Desktop screensaver slideshow along with Tyre Nails and Junior Beer.

  4. Mike 137 Silver badge

    Suicide machines

    The other day in the forecourt of my local shopping centre as couple of lads were zooming around on electric scooters at high speed among the crowd. Their solution for ensuring safety? Simply to yell "coming through!" without slowing down for anyone.

  5. Binraider Silver badge

    Anyone recall the excellent Paranoia RPG of the 80's?

    There was a product in the Experimental R&D offered to the Troubleshooters called the "Wheelie Boots" that came with no instructions, and a control unit that didn't indicate F/R... Hilarity guaranteed.

  6. Insert sadsack pun here

    "that didn't stop it ambushing journalists at CES, including the BBC's Zoe Kleinman, with... well, I'm not sure what that is. An anchor?"

    I think it's a letter W followed by an anchor. Not sure what that spells...

  7. YetAnotherXyzzy

    Smellovision

    "Remember Smellovision? The original system was supposed to release odors so filmgoers could "smell" what they see on the screen. It was only ever used for one film, Scent of Mystery, in 1960."

    John Waters's Polyester (1981) also had it, albeit called "odorama".

    https://www.allmovie.com/movie/polyester-v38632

    1. This is my handle
      Go

      Re: Smellovision

      I still have a scratch & sniff card autographed by Mr. Waters himself from the Baltimore premiere. 'pity it never took off.

      1. YetAnotherXyzzy

        Re: Smellovision

        Wow, we were at the same screening then! My card was lost long ago however.

  8. Irony Deficient

    Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

    If the counter that holds your kitchen sink is of standard height and you’re taller than average, then some kitchen renovation to make that counter 2″ (5 cm) higher would probably provide great relief to your lower back. If that’s not an option (for whatever reason), then putting off washing your dishes until the following morning (right after your back has had several hours of rest) may minimize the burn.

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

      Yeah right-o, at the current cost of around 5 or 10 grand for such a renovation.

      On the other hand, your wife could say she spent 5 grand for a couple inches.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

        > Yeah right-o, at the current cost of around 5 or 10 grand for such a renovation.

        That's the cost if you raise the sink. Alternatively, you could just dig a 6" deep hole in the kitchen floor.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

          Not when you live in an upstairs flat you can't!

          1. lglethal Silver badge
            Joke

            Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

            Well... you can. You just might end up getting to know your downstairs neighbours a little better than you planned to. ;)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

      A cheaper solution than renovating the kitchen would be to raise just the washing up bowl. (Like the poster above, I'm assuming the article author is taller than whatever the average user height was when worktops became standardised.)

      Also, whilst we're glad you have a comfortable chair, it is still a chair. Too much time sat down is not good for one's back, or bowels, legs or general health - even if vigorous exercise is taken afterwards. The body of scientific literature is becoming ever more clear on that.

    3. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

      Thanks for your concern! I do think perhaps the counters are a little low. On the other hand, I'm in the process of moving house AND IT HAS A DISHWASHER so no more burning back soon (I hope).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

        Absolute gamechanger!

        The best gadget to have in the kitchen, particularly if there is no significant other.

        1. Montreal Sean

          Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

          @AC

          I'd say a dishwasher is even more important if you have a significant other, the SO is not a slave. :)

      2. Alistair
        Windows

        Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

        Dishwashers are absolutely REQUIRED in any residence I'll be living in. If only I could figure out how to get one in the boat.

        1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

          It was fine when it was just me and missus. Now we have two kids and it never seems to end. That and laundry.

    4. Alistair
      Windows

      Re: Half an hour doing dishes is enough to make the small of my back burn

      My male parent *built* our house, and he was about 6' 3". He departed this mortal coil some 30+ years ago after an attempt to dodge being arrested by consuming sodium cyanide failed initially, and the long term affect nuked his liver. My female parent was 5' 4", and complained bitterly about the counter/cabinet arrangements (to this day, still chugging along). I learned to cook in that kitchen, and find *any* counter anywhere too low as I was acclimated to working above what is considered the optimal level for my height (5' 10"). My spouse on the other hand insists the current counters are too high, I find them too low, and both of the currently resident offspring can't find the counters. (Dishes *everywhere* else)

      Its all relative to your experience. One case where "standard" sucks.

  9. ICam

    Smelloverse

    It's usually the porn industry that leads the way on implementing new tech, so the smelloverse could be, uh, interesting...

  10. Colin Bain

    Falling profits?

    So the problem with comparing profits from the previious year is a bit misleading. Number one, they are not losing money. Number two, during Covid I am assuming tech sales were higher than normal. So while it usual to compare year on year, unusual times need to focus on a more meaningful time frame. My cynicism, born of years of hearing this kind of stuff that it is simply an excuse to not properly compensate employees and to have a staff cut to enable the C suite to get extra bonuses.

    #Marx#grind#faces#poor

  11. martinusher Silver badge

    Birds and Feeders?

    I've got a 'manual' bird feeder on the patio. Its popular, in fact it attracts quite a crowd at times. After a bit you start to notice individual birds and then you realize like some long established coffee shop (the one in movies, at least) its got a crowd of regulars with maybe the occasional visitor. Non-migratory birds like these finches and sparrows seem to be a bit like us -- once the find a neighborhood the like they move in and stay put.

    The bird counter/recognizer needs to be standalone since you seem to get the most varied customers at a bird table. As for this particular one, its a very twee squirrel feeder (you're going to spend a lot of time and ingenuity deterring them -- see youTube).

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