back to article NFT vending machine appears in London

NFTs are dead. And stupid. Don't just take our word for it – Bill Gates, widely considered a pretty smart guy, described them as "100 percent based on greater fool theory" and analyst Forrester recently said "most consumers aren't interested in NFT stunts." Clearly the crypto-bros behind the NFT.London conference didn't get …

  1. Chloe Cresswell Silver badge

    "There is so much potential in the NFT market" a new wording of a there's a sucker board every minute?

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Trollface

      Doctors have come up with a name for the disease these poor suckers have... Barnumitis.

      1. b0llchit Silver badge
        Devil

        Would you like to cure Barnumitis? I have the cure! Please send £10 to me and I'll send you the cure.

        The cure should probably be applied several times. Simply send me more £10 to ensure a permanent cure.

    2. Halfmad

      It's fundamentally an issue of supply and demand.

      Infinite supply and Zero demand = worthless and pointless

    3. William Towle
      Devil

      new wording of a there's a sucker board every minute?

      Nod!

      I read "possible investors are put off getting involved by various unnecessary and complicated barriers" and thought "...such as the absurdity of the idea?"

      Similarly "We bet there's a queue forming outside the vending machine right now": "...and I've got a position in it I can sell you".

  2. tatatata
    Coat

    'McDonaugh said they're "looking at a couple of bars" in the search for a permanent home."

    Well, with the quantity that Brits drink, that could be a viable option.

    1. Anonymous Custard
      Trollface

      About last night?

      So in addition to possibly waking up with a tattoo or a bedmate (an STD optionally) after a serious session, you now have the risk of waking up with an NFT?

      I'm not sure which is worse...

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        WTF?

        Re: About last night?

        I'm on tenterhooks, waiting to see if drunks will outbid fools.

        1. fidodogbreath
          Pint

          Re: About last night?

          +1 for "tenterhooks."

      2. Version 1.0 Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: About last night?

        I don't give a shit about any of this, I'll be waking up tomorrow morning and playing the Levellers "Beautiful Day" with the volume set to 11 (LOL).

        1. David 132 Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: About last night?

          At least the narrator in that one "got a paper bag".

          Which can be used to hold stuff. And is infinitely more useful than an NFT.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Genius marketing

    I just can't wait for the chance to stand round in the foyer of a travel lodge and pay double the normal asking price for a picture of a bored ape which will be worthless tomorrow....

    Of course, the stroke of genius is that I don't have to worry about losing my money when my picture of a bored ape gets stuck in the mechanism, because it was never mine anyway. That way, there's no need to shoulder barge the machine to get the goods I paid for.

    1. fidodogbreath

      Re: Genius marketing

      double the normal asking price for a picture of a bored ape which will be worthless tomorrow

      Not even a picture; it's a link to a file that contains a picture of a bored ape -- like these but with Blockchain™. You won't own the picture or the file, so you don't have to wait until tomorrow for it to be worthless.

  4. John Riddoch
    Joke

    "Yes, it really is that stupid"

    Obligatory cartoon (not XKCD, unfortunately): https://www.toonhoundstudios.com/comic/20220131/?sid=372 "You sell an idiot nothing and give them bad art as a receipt"

  5. trevorde Silver badge

    NFTs explained

    https://sebastianherold.com/ive-found-it-the-perfect-explanation-of-nfts-3a8242ca7f80

  6. katrinab Silver badge
    Alert

    Bitcoin ATMs are illegal in the UK unless they have been authorised by the FCA. None have been able to meet the requirements for authorisation.

    Is this NFT ATM authorised? I suspect not, so maybe the relevant authorities should be made aware of its existence.

    1. mecmec

      NFTs aren't a cryptocurrency. A vending machine that sells NFTs is not an ATM.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kill me now

    please

    1. First Light
      Pint

      Re: Kill me now

      The thought of fools being parted from their money seems to cause you alot of distress.

      Have a pint. If I could add it twice I would give you two! Maybe then you'll feel better.

      1. Korev Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: Kill me now

        I'm right-clicking and getting my own pint NFT...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Somewhat misleading explainer

    > But what if I faked digital scarcity? A database with limited spaces, each identified by a unique number.

    Not a good equivalence, because the "database" effectively has infinite spaces - there's no technical limitation there. The "scarcity" comes entirely from the NFT creator making a pinky-swear not to create more database entries in future!

    > You don't own the poster, you don't own the image on the poster, you can't reproduce the image, or sell copies, or claim any other type of ownership.

    While I'm sure this is true of the majority, this is not necessarily true as a generalisation. The most famous of NFTs - the Bored Apes - explicitly came with the copyright - or at least the legal right to reproduce, use, sublicense, etc. that work. That was the whole reason for the hullabaloo about whatsisface who is/was planning on making a TV show featuring his Bored Ape character, whose NFT subsequently got stolen and later recovered (at significant cost).

    Which is to say that, in theory, NFT ownership can have value, but only if some legal rights are associated with that ownership, and only if those rights can be enforced using real-world courts and laws.

    1. Justicesays
      Facepalm

      Re: Somewhat misleading explainer

      So,you replaced a contract that would legally assign those rights to you , with a combination of a contract and an NFT , where the rights are assigned to the NFT, not you. Assuming the courts would recognized such a contract, and with the risk that someone might steal your NFT by getting your private key and legally you wouldn't have a leg to stand on? (If you could argue the NFT was stolen and therefor the rights still belonged to you then the NFT is legally worthless). Not a huge benefit, and the step where the rights are assigned to the NFT is no more secure/guaranteed than any other contract. e.g. Want to buy this NFT of the Golden Gate Bridge?

    2. fidodogbreath

      Re: Somewhat misleading explainer

      Which is to say that, in theory, NFT ownership can have value, but only if some legal rights are associated with that ownership, and only if those rights can be enforced using real-world courts and laws.

      Essentially, an NFT can have value only if it is functionally the same as buying an actual, physical image and its associated rights. So why not just do that?

      Oh, right; that wouldn't have blockchain. Duh. Never mind.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Somewhat misleading explainer

      ... and somebody is willing to pay more because THAT bored ape is attractive star material.

  9. bluesxman

    McDonaugh said they're "looking at a couple of bars" in the search for a permanent home.

    Because you'd have to be drunk to think they're a good idea? Says it all, really.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reuters…

    …which once upon a time was a serious news agency has (or had, until very recently) a particular penchant for hyping NFT. Probably because all they do nowadays is print whatever press releases they are handed by anyone who is half media savvy.

    The problem is that then sensible people come and ask you about this NFT thing and when you explain it to them they just don't believe you, because "Reuters says otherwise".

    A reflection of the world we live in, I suppose.

  11. TimMaher Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Delft Blue and The Night Watch

    Something to do with the Netherlands and Rembrandt no doubt?

    1. Spoobistle

      Re: Delft Blue and The Night Watch

      Spin-offs of Van der Valk?

      1. David 132 Silver badge

        Re: Delft Blue and The Night Watch

        Does anybody else now have “Eye Level” looping melodically in their brain or is it just me?

  12. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    The only right thing to do

    Time to set up a Premium NFT vending machine next to it that charges more money. If the goal is spending money on nothing, it's clearly the better value.

  13. Mike 137 Silver badge

    Actually an ancient principle

    I read somewhere some 30 years ago of a guy who sold envelopes on the street for (let's say) £5 each. On the front was the statement "how make a million without effort". Inside was a card bearing the text "do to lots of other people what I've just done to you".

    1. nintendoeats

      Re: Actually an ancient principle

      Weirdly, a lot of people seem to be getting scammed with this logic by corpos and thanking them for it.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: Actually an ancient principle

      “I read somewhere”

      I read somewhere that people who read something somewhere are attempting to give some grounding to their fiction.

      But in fact a small ad stating “How to make a fortune…send xx money to P.O.Box xx….” and by return people received a piece of paper saying “place an ad like mine…”.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Actually an ancient principle

        "But in fact a small ad"

        Last time I picked up a BigCity dead-tree newspaper (the Omaha World-Herald), it contained a couple dozen of them. That was about four years ago. I was quite surprised, but I guess the ads still work(ed).

      2. Mike 137 Silver badge

        Re: Actually an ancient principle

        "I read somewhere that people who read something somewhere are attempting to give some grounding to their fiction"

        Actually it was reported in a highly authoritative book, but I'm prevented by rights issues from identifying its authorship without obtaining prior permission (which would take too long as interest in these forum postings typically lasts about 24 hours).

      3. David Hicklin Bronze badge

        Re: Actually an ancient principle

        >> send xx money to P.O.Box xx….”

        They all sound very similar to the classic pyramid scheme - eventually everyone has done it and there is nobody else to sell to,,,,,

    3. mark l 2 Silver badge

      Re: Actually an ancient principle

      The modern equivalent is those who claim to have made millions from investing or running business from home and you too can be a millionaire if you just pay a subscription to get their ebook, video tutorial or attend one of their seminars etc.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Actually an ancient principle

      My wife fell for this when we were really badly off financially about 30 years ago. She answered an ad in the local paper for 'make money at home addressing envelopes' which were quite common ads at the time. She sent them £20 which was a lot for us at the time and received back instructions to post similar adverts to the one she answered.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Actually an ancient principle

        >> make money at home

        similar here : wife send off for a package of bits of cardboard to "fold and assemble" then post back for them to "sell" and make some money, except the end product was something I would not even consider giving away. Was clear that the people sending the stuff out were the ones making the money.

        Eventually managed to persuade her it was really was a scam, in her defence she hated being dependent on me for money at the time (never an issue for me) and just wanted a bit of independence

        1. nintendoeats

          Re: Actually an ancient principle

          The premise of all MLMs.

          I had a friend who got into Arbonne. She invited us over and gave us the whole spiel (all a bunch of male nerds, so I don't know why she thought it would get anywhere). None of us said anything. It is one of my life-long regrets that I didn't overcome my politeness and point out what a scam it was (especially right in front of her handler, that would have been great). That said, her boyfriend really should have stepped up to the plate on that one.

  14. monty75

    Oh so high tech

    It's a machine that sells pieces of paper. That's the future right there.

  15. Mayday
    WTF?

    Let me understand this

    So I swipe my card/ETH/BTC wallet at this machine and nothing comes out?

    Looks great to me!

  16. Plest Silver badge
    Facepalm

    NFT = 'Nother F**king Twat

    Cannot believe NFTs are still a thing, thought they were dead about 6 months ago when the whole house of cards crashed down.? Then again I suppose there will always be plenty of suckers with more money than sense ripe for the fleecing by con artists.

  17. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Coat

    Which is worth more

    An actual autographed picture of Liz Truss, or NFT of same?

  18. withQuietEyes

    I love reading about NFTs

    It's a bit like trash tv: lots of drama I'm not involved in, and the ability to feel *very* smart by comparison. Plus the inventiveness of scams, without the guilt of seeing anyone likeable fall for them.

  19. that one in the corner Silver badge

    This is a con, that isn't a proper NFT

    You can scribble a quick note on the card, put it in the envelope, stamp and address it (may have to use the back for the address, but there is no law against that) then pop it into a pillarbox.

    That is *far* too much useful functionality for this to be considered a Real NFT! What a swiz!

  20. mix

    Funny...

    The recent London NFT event was a shambles, they charged a fortune for a ticket (not just a place in the queue ;) ), hardly anyone attended and the show itself had more speakers than attendees. These are not the people to represent this new technology. Vending machines for NFTs are a bit of a joke in the community.

    Bill Gates has also famously made mistakes with his technology crystal ball and if he has only had a cursory glance at what some NFT projects are doing and innovating, he may change his mind. I'm not telling anyone here to go and buy an expensive monkey jpeg, sorry a place in the queue to look at one. (Also an incorrect analogy in this instance.) But you might want to research what else is happening in the space.

  21. LybsterRoy Silver badge

    I'm sorry, but whilst I think NFTs are worthless and rubbish there's an awful lot of resemblance to the art market. As an example, and ignoring aesthetic taste (ie I think its rubbish) how can the price tag of Vincent's Sunflowers be what it is?

    1. nintendoeats

      While I acknowledge that this is not super strong (the art market is also in many ways a similar scam), there is one difference which I think is important. Sometimes, somebody buys an expensive painting not JUST as an investment vehicle, but also because they want to show it off to their rich friends (or even rarer, because they actually like it or appreciate its historical significance). That works a lot better when you get a physical thing over which you can claim exclusivity.

      So while 99% of the time these things are bought as expensive gambling, there is some actual market value outside of the painting's use as an investment vehicle. That means the art market has at least some semblance of an economic foundation, which the NFT market does not.

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