back to article Doctor gave patients the wrong test results due to 'printer problems'

If it's Friday – and we have no reason to believe it is not – then it must be time for another instalment of On-Call, The Register's weekly tale of techies who rise above the trivial troubles that colleagues demand be addressed with undue haste. This week meet "Arthur" who told us of the time – in an age before networked …

  1. schermer
    Unhappy

    Using the word "quack" is quite disrespectful. Furthermore, having been involved in this profession for over 30 years, I can assure you that being a smart and intelligent MD is not necessarily the same thing as being a smart ass digital handy professional …

    The provided solution was perfect:

    1. Tom 38

      My theory is that human memory capacity is not infinite. If my doctor has crammed 5 years of medical school knowledge, 30 years of practise and professional development in to their brain and is successfully holding it all there, I don't mind if they forget how electrical circuits work.

      I'm more wary of the knowledge magpies, Steven Fry like characters who have knowledge of every thing in existence, because their knowledge is like the magpie's nest, full of shiny things from all around that have piqued their interest, but no real depth of any of those things.

      1. MatthewSt

        Especially when they think they understand things that they don't... https://www.theregister.com/2011/01/18/stephen_frytard/

      2. Sgt_Oddball

        You do sort of have a point....

        It's only after marrying has a very senior Consultant Anesthesiologist (a consultant on 3 separate continents now) friend of mine learned to tie his shoelaces. I wish I was joking...

        1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

          Re: You do sort of have a point....

          All those inhaled volatile substances have been suggested as the the cause of... neurodiversity (and, incidentally, an increased incidence of female children) in that particular specialty.

          But then correlation, causation and all that.

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. Artryg

          Re: You do sort of have a point....

          "tie his shoelaces"

          Most adult humans don't really need to learn to tie their shoes on, y'know ....

          1. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Re: You do sort of have a point....

            Almost 60 years to the day I failed shoelaces(in reception class aka "bottom infants" as it was then).

            Three consequences

            1) I pretty much gave up on school for the next 11 years- God knows how I scraped through O and A levels and into uni.

            2) A career in special education - mostly working with kids who's problems were at least partly that they'd been failed by the system and

            3) I wear Clarks slip-ons pretty much every day. Even though I have several pairs of nice shoes with laces.

    2. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

      Quite. Would you rather an NHS doctor is spending his expensive-but-usually-underpaid time dealing with doctor stuff, or thinking about how printers work?

    3. General Purpose

      The provided explanation, however, was sheer quackery.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Seems justified if that doctor couldn't figure out that the thing with the cable needed to plugged into the thing he was using.

      1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

        Bear in mind that the computers A and B almost certainly list the printer as present (if "offline", whatever that means) whether they are plugged in or not.

      2. low_resolution_foxxes

        You just need to explain it in terms he will understand.

        My bowels expel excrement from my own personal butt, because the pipes between them are connected.

        Since my bowel pipes are only connected to my own butt, it is improbable that I will be excrementing through another butt.

        Caveat - medical science has zero limits. Give it 15 years and this might become a trendy medical procedure.

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

          Thank you for reminding me of The Human Centipede. Not.

    5. Ian Johnston Silver badge

      If you can find a doctor who didn't go into the profession for the money, the status or because their parents told them to, they can be quite good. That's perhaps a 20% chance, but you can improve the odds a lot by avoiding the privately educated ones.

      1. Archivist

        Undeserved downvotes

        You must have been downvoted by people with absolutely no knowledge of the UK health system - can't comment on elsewhere.

    6. Sub 20 Pilot

      My thoughts as well. While some people, usually ones in power, make immense fuckwitted decisions while totally misunderstanding any sort of tech, there are also people who are brilliant at what they do but technology confuses them.

      It boils my piss when you get disparaging comments on here which are not warranted. You may be big & clever and know how to connect your printer but would probably take a dim view of your oncology consultant laughing when you ask him a basic question about your cancer treatment.

      Not understanding ICT does not equal being stupid. As far as I can see this is the only industry that revels in this type of piss taking.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        As far as I can see this is the only industry that revels in this type of piss taking.

        I think the car servicing industry could give it a good run for it's money.

        1. ChrisBedford

          One thing the car industry doesn't do quite as much is openly sneer at the customer to his face. Some in IT rationalise this as being "more honest" but honestly it's just rude and works actively against retaining business.

      2. Evil Auditor Silver badge
        Coat

        Guilty as stated. At least on some occasions. But I fully agree with you. Might it be that ICT people are not as smart as they'd like to think they are?

        1. ChrisBedford

          They're certainly not as polite, or politic, as they could be.

      3. mistersaxon

        Umm

        The urology department definitely take the piss though.

    7. david 12 Silver badge

      Although only some of the doctors I know are smart and intelligent, what they all have in common is the ability to learn vast quantities of information.

      And an expectation that nurses, staff, and computers, will do what they are told.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        And an expectation that nurses, staff, and computers, will do what they are told.

        Make that EVERYONE will do what they are told, regardless of whether or not they are pontificating on a medical matter.

        Something about the medical degree seems to give them the idea that they know everything about everything, cannot possibly be wrong and the rest of us should do what we're told for our own good. Failure to comply usually results in an almighty tantrum, despite the fact that most of them are not fit to leave their consulting rooms without a chaperone.

        Anon cos I know quite a few of them (rather decent chaps and chapesses in all other respects) and I like a quiet life!

        1. david 12 Silver badge

          It's not the medical degree- it's the job experience.

          Doctors are trained in an environment where everybody wants something from them, and quietly suck up to them in order to get it. And what they want from doctors is direction and sign-off

    8. Killfalcon Silver badge

      I used to work with actuaries. Like, seriously smart folks - every last one had a 2.1 or better degree before they even started the actuarial studies. Their job was entirely problem solving and math-wrangling on short deadlines.

      Yes, they made some *ridiculous* mistakes - I more than once "fixed the macros" by clicking the bright yellow 'Enable Macros' button. But... everyone has off days. Anyone can overlook stuff, especially when in a really stressful environment.

    9. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      As someone who comes from a medical family (going back a number of generations on both sides), and who dated a doctor for three years (some years ago), I can assure you that "quack" is every bit as appropriate as referring to scientists as "boffins" (my degrees are in the sciences, and this doesn't offend me), or to software developers as "nerds" (my profession, also not offended).

      Maybe we should adapt the adage, "physician, heal thyself," to "physician, get over yourself?"

  2. Sam Haine

    Another no news day at El Reg?

    Here's some news for you:

    BBC News 30/07/2022: Guy's and St Thomas' systems hit by 'ludicrous' heatwave

    The inside track is that:

    The air conditioning in the server room failed.

    The servers then died.

    The backup servers were in the same room.

    A reminder: IT people are supposed to be quite smart.

    1. Oglethorpe

      A lot of people seem to think air conditioners just generate 'cold'. I have a lovely portable unit at home that I bought for a steal because it had a 'fault that blew hot air out the back' when it was blowing cold out the front. I did explain that this was by design but the former owner was incredulous over having to connect a vent hose to it and just wanted it gone.

      edit: sorry, I misread that as the backup servers being in the same room as the hot side of the AC

      1. Killfalcon Silver badge

        One place I worked at migrated their on-site servers to a nice datacentre someplace else.

        The waste heat from the chillers had been used to keep one half of the office warm, and turning all that off nearly froze accountancy.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          So, a win-win situation, then?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'd hazard a guess the pointy haired boss wouldn't pay for the backup servers to be placed elsewhere.

      IT guys in general will bitch about stupidity like this, but are in no position to address it.

      Anyway, being smart doesn't necessarily come hand-in-hand with common sense!

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        I had a client with a backup server room at the opposite end of quite a large building. Everything done right, no shortage of money or IT savvy? None of their IT team had noticed that the overnight backup to the standby server ran out of time every night.

        1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

          Backups and Restores

          Twenty years ago we had a problem with our busiest file server, and it had to be restored from tape. The nightly backups (differentials?) completed easily overnight, but the restore took multiple days! The server team implemented a temporary write inhibit on that server via a Novell rights change at the top of the NDS tree. This incident flushed out a number of poorly-thought-out, home-grown, departmental financial processes which depended on that server always being fully-available.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Backups and Restores

            Your first go at restoring a backup can be educational.

            1. Yes Me Silver badge
              Facepalm

              Re: Backups and Restores

              Once upon a time I ran a reasonably large program development computer for our group, and a person we'll call Ed (not his name) was charged with making a daily backup of the "big" 66MB disk (yes, this really was once upon a time). That was a manual copy to a spare disk pack on a spare drive. I also insisted that Ed did a weekly backup to mag tape, a much slower job that Ed hated but he did it anyway.

              One fine day the disk stopped working. Ignoring some ominous noises, Ed said "Ah-ha, I know what to do" and quickly removed the active disk pack and popped in yesterday's backup. Pressed the button, and the ominous scraping noises resumed.

              Well, that took a while to sort out... but he never complained about having to do the backup to tape again.

              1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: Backups and Restores

                Disk packs. Yes, that really was once upon a time.

    3. Peter2 Silver badge

      That looks rather more like a "how much money do you have?" issue of desired capability being delivered within a budget rather than having the desired ideal outcome on an unlimited budget.

      It's not atypical to have backup servers in the same room. A lot of sites simply either aren't physically big enough to have two server rooms with two sets of high grade UPS's, generators, air con systems etc or the end user can't financially afford to do it. (but typically will spend more money on other business priorities like designer pure wool carpet tiles...)

      1. Man inna barrel

        How to make an ISP disappear

        I recall some time ago when there was a fire at a datacentre in London, that caused Plusnet to go offline. The big problem was that the helpline was operated via the same datacentre. So when you tried to find out what was going on, instead of getting an informative message in a Sheffield accent, there was nothing. Being of a sensitive and imaginative nature, I thought it was World War 3. So much for the internet routing around damage.

        1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

          Re: How to make an ISP disappear

          > So much for the internet routing around damage.

          That is a setup / money issue. The Internet and protocols can do it without problems.

          You should have worded it is a way to blame Plusnet.

          1. Dan 55 Silver badge

            Re: How to make an ISP disappear

            I'm convinced the first thing good IT developers do is blame ourselves, it's a required personality trait for defensive programming and debugging code but perhaps not good for stress management.

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: How to make an ISP disappear

          "So much for the internet routing around damage."

          The rest of the worlds internet DID route around the damage. It's your fault that YOU couldn't route around the damage by depending on only a single provider :-)

        3. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: How to make an ISP disappear

          With VM they simply don't bother to update the status page on the web site or inform frontline phone answering staff that their service is fu**ed.

    4. Tom 7

      A reminder: IT people are supposed to be quite smart.

      But they cannot override accountants who are invariably tech unsavy.

      1. Man inna barrel

        Accountants and modern technology

        I used a small accountancy firm for doing my business accounts and tax returns. They were not very up to date with modern technology. They did not scratch numbers into ledgers with quill pens, but the serious number crunching was still being done on hand cranked mechanical adding machines. The thing is, it worked. It kept the taxman happy.

        The head accountant pointed out that modern technology had done nothing to make life easier. In fact, he seemed to have more work to do than ever, just to keep up with the ever more complex regulations. He took early retirement in disgust.

        Many years later, I read some stuff by John Maynard Keynes, which is relevant to the labour saving value of technology. In the 1930s, Keynes predicted that due to advances in technology, we would not need to work so hard any more, and that by the next century (where we are now), we would only need to work fifteen hours a week. So what happened then? I think Covid and working from home may bring about the Keynsian vision, because nobody notices that I am working fifteen hours a week, as long as I get the work done.

        More economic theory. There is Grinding Toil, and there is Doing Useful Things. What a lot of technology appears to have done is simply exchange one form of grinding toil for another.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Accountants and modern technology

          "What a lot of technology appears to have done is simply exchange one form of grinding toil for another."

          New "grinding toil" has been invented to replace the rows upon rows of people who used to do certain kinds of grinding toil but were displaced by a very few people doing that grinding toil assisted by technology. Keynes envisaged those rows of people at desks being assisted by technology to the extent that those same rows of people would still be there, just for fewer hours. Instead, most of them were fired

        2. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

          Re: Accountants and modern technology

          "In the 1930s, Keynes predicted that due to advances in technology, we would not need to work so hard any more, and that by the next century (where we are now), we would only need to work fifteen hours a week. So what happened then?"

          The simple answer is that if all you want from life is the stuff of a 1930s average lifestyle, you only need to work 15 hours a week. But we've found lots of other things to want - things like the NHS, and also things like cars, tvs, and phones.

        3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Accountants and modern technology

          "The head accountant pointed out that modern technology had done nothing to make life easier."

          If he wasn't using it then it couldn't, at least not for him.

    5. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      > A reminder: IT people are supposed to be quite smart.

      But they cannot win against bean-counters and high qualified managers.

      They should protest in mail and writing with signature to avoid having to take the blame.

      1. Captain Scarlet
        Flame

        Yup if you have ever had to fill in cap ex sheets, then fight every person who has the sign the bleeding thing, just like asset disposals its like pulling teeth and you end up wanting to burn the frigging things (Well although have to print them out then do that these days)

        1. Not Yb Bronze badge
          Devil

          One capital expenditure form I filled out included the notation: "Press very hard, you are making 8 copies".

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Been there, seen it, done it.

        Even had several occasions where I have trotted out said emails to save my own arse.

        Doesn't stop the PHBs from trying to shift the blame in order to protect their next bonus though.

    6. midgepad

      You might remember Buncefield

      The Trusts involved had sensibly demanded that their backup systems were in a separate data centre from the primary.

      And their provider did that.

      East Wing, West Wing.

      Next to the boundary of the oil depot which went very boom.

    7. DeathSquid

      I've been in that meeting. The one where the business wants backup servers that MUST be available if the other one fails. The same meeting where the accountants point blank refuse to sign off on additional server racks, rooms and air conditioning. And they blanch at the cost of the emergency power generator.

      Strategy? You document everything. Then when a failure takes down the business, the right heads roll.

      It just goes to show you don't need to be a doctor to be a fool. Accountants are well up to the task.

      Actually, the problem is not mental capacity. It is hubris. Doctors often believe they are the smartest people on the room even when they have no clue.

  3. Oglethorpe

    Conference Confusion

    Reminds me of the inordinately large (for the size of the business, more seats than employees) conference room at a former employer. It was so large that it had screens half way down to relay pictures of the speaker. The whole setup came with a whizzy KVM switch that could arbitrarily map any input to any (or multiple) outputs. Sadly, the protocol of pressing the input button, followed by any output buttons and finally the set button (to allow multiple outputs) was too challenging and a pretty expensive piece of hardware vanished behind a rats nest of increasingly tangled cables. The equally expensive mid screens also saw no use at all.

    1. GlenP Silver badge

      Re: Conference Confusion

      Sounds about par for the course.

      On a simpler level an employer decided they wanted two big screens in a conference room that's barely big enough to be called as such, more a largish office. The screens were purchased and delivered to site, where one was installed in the conference room and the other immediately put down in the training area.

      The hardware for signal splitting, transmitting, etc. is still sat in the computer room untouched and unused. One day I'll find a use for it!

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: Conference Confusion

        Yeah. We have a conference room with a nice big screen and speakers and...

        ...I think it's being used as a storage room at the moment.

        1. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

          Re: Conference Confusion

          Saw a Microsoft Surface Hub (or it's predecessor) delivered to an office. Huge thing, vast touch screen, conferencing, whiteboard etc. When it was on, you could feel the warmth coming off the screen from at least a foot away.

          It stayed in the lobby for at least a year as it was realised that the floors in the building upstairs were not strong enough.

    2. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: Conference Confusion

      Sadly, the protocol of pressing ... was too challenging

      You KNOW that bullshit is non-obvious, right? Were there any stickers or signs or instructions ANYWHERE on how to do this?

      In my experience, these conference room controls are a square matrix of unlabeled buttons and that's it. Fuck that noise.

      I don't mind learning how it work something, but if I'm not given even the slightest clue how to start, I'm not going to bother.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: Conference Confusion

        And frequently the user who needs the stuff has not been in the room long enough to find out how, no one from that department has ever needed to use it or been given time to work out how to and a key component has been put somewhere safe.

      2. Oglethorpe

        Re: Conference Confusion

        I had a play with it, trying to see if it was broken. There were 4 numbered buttons labelled as 'input', if you pressed one, it started flashing and 4 similar buttons labelled as output, pressing each of these would toggle their lights flashing. A line then connected all 4 outputs to the 'set' button. Next to this was the keyboard and mouse with 4 buttons joined by lines to a USB icon.

        This seemed fairly straightforward to me.

      3. Sgt_Oddball

        Re: Conference Confusion

        Our offices really big conference rooms do have a nice laminated sheet with instructions in big letters, big images and generally quite fool proof.

        Unfortunately, the kit only uses VGA connections and is a huge 200 rear projection screen that's about as focused as a BOFH on the 3rd pint at half past beer o'clock during an emergency release by the marketing team.

        When it is focused, it's dimmer than a crayon muncher with colour control app for his desk lamp...

        The spider phone works really well though.

    3. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Re: Conference Confusion

      Perhaps I'm missing something here, but why couldn't the relatively few employees have simply sat in the chairs, starting from the head of the table, with no empty chairs between?

      1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Conference Confusion

        Their:

        deodorants,

        Ties,

        Aftershave,

        Phones,

        etc. Clash.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Conference Confusion

          Marketing don't sit with Sales.

          Design don't sit with Engineering.

          Nobody sits with Accounting or HR.

          IT don't get invited.

  4. ColinPa

    Photocopier challange

    I remember when I were young, and we had these new hi tech copiers. I needed 50 copies of a report. So, doing what I always used to do, I copied the first page 50 times, then opened the doors, and put the 50 copies into the paper feed ( the right way up), then printed the second side. Put these duplex sheets to one side, and did it over again.

    One of the secretaries stood and watched me for a minute, then said if you press this funny button - it does duplex automatically.

    We did find an instruction book (small, with very small font - with features in alphabetical order)

    Next day there was a sign over each copier saying "to print duplex - press this button", to shrink A3 to A4 - press ... this other button.

    I recently had a hire car - and the instructions on how to use the parking brake were on page 200! I suggested they have a one page set of instructions. "This is how you start the car - this is how you stop it - this is how you park it"

    1. GlenP Silver badge

      Re: Photocopier challange

      This is how you start the car - this is how you stop it - this is how you park it

      Had the how-to-start one with a, I think, BMW lease car that I was asked to move (it had been dropped off by a leaver and the responsible person was too nervous to actually drive it). It had to be in neutral with feet on both the clutch and the brake and the hand brake on!

      I can add another one to the list though, "How do you add fuel?" I had a hire car where the filler cap release was buried in a very odd place. I did eventually find it with the aid of Google.

      1. Calum Morrison

        Re: Photocopier challange

        I had a panicked call from my wife a few years ago as she was trying to unpark her Audi A6. She'd parked facing down a slope with nothing in front but now there was a car there and it was quite close. When she engaged reverse to give herself room to turn, the electronic parking brake released and her car moved forward before she could catch the bite point and move backwards. She caught it on the foot brake but was now too close to the car in front to pop the clutch and reverse hill start - she is a good driver and this shouldn't be an issue but it was like the parking brake was broken. She was stuck and in a hurry but couldn't leave the space without hitting the car in front. We couldn't figure it out and there was nothing in the handbook so she ended up having to wait for that car to leave - luckily not long.

        It was some time later I was in a similar position in the car and the same thing happened. Not sure how, but by chance, I discovered that it was an undocumented feature to do with the seatbelt. I forget the details now, but I think it was belt on, handbrake disengaged automatically, belt off, it didn't. Fine in most circumstances but not in this case! A colleague had a similar generation car and she had exactly the same issue. The model my wife replaced it with (slight facelift car, 2014 rather than 2012 model) no longer did this...

        1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

          Re: Photocopier challange

          Audi lost a few cases on court due to such bugs.

          In Germany, where it is not so easy to hold manufacturers, especially German car manufacturers, responsible.

          A bit later came a recall program to fix this nonsense and another bug where you had the car in reverse, but it was driving forward.

          1. DJV Silver badge

            Re: car in reverse, but it was driving forward

            I had one of those in the 1970s - it was a secondhand 1966 Ford Cortina automatic and the automatic gearing went wrong after I'd had it about 3 or 4 years. So, putting it in reverse made it go forwards. As I couldn't afford the cost of the repair at the time I just made sure I parked it in places where I could drive off forwards or was on a slope so that it would roll backwards without any problems!

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: car in reverse, but it was driving forward

              "I just made sure I parked it in places where I could drive off forwards or was on a slope so that it would roll backwards without any problems!"

              Certain Bubble Car drivers have sympathy with you :-)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Photocopier challange

          We had similar fun with a VW Passat. Wife arrived home with the company pool car after her first day at her new job and parked up fine. Next morning same issue as you had, our drive slopes towards the garage and the garage door was getting closer each attempt. I couldn't work it out either but via a lot of revving and good timing got it off the drive in reverse and she went on her way.

          Turns out the parking brake auto release that you need only functions when you have the seatbelt on, why? I'd never have thought to put the seat belt on so I could reverse the car out of the drive. Thankfully she returned home with a temp company car that day which was more normal.

          We also had fun recently when my wife's last company car came off lease, the nice guy from BCA arrived to collect, spent 40mins checking it and confirming no damage outside of limits the lease (amazing!) and he set off. A couple of mins later he was back at the door and the car had only moved a couple of meters. He looked puzzled and said I can't drive the car it keeps bleeping loudly. Went back to car to look for issue - he'd not found the foot parking brake so was trying to reverse off the drive with the parking brake firmly on!

          My car has this strange thing called a handbrake, nice simple device that doesn't need instructions (and yes it still has things like hill hold).

          1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

            Re: Photocopier challange

            I'd never have thought to put the seat belt on so I could reverse the car out of the drive.

            I can't think of any time I have been in a car without a seatbelt on except during entry and exit. At some point in the distant past I presume it was drummed into me to never be in a vehicle without a seatbelt just in case something crashes into it, no matter how unlikely it seems that would be.

            I can only imagine the designers of that system believed that would be the case.

            I was once 'trapped' in a petrol station trying to figure out how to turn the ignition on without setting the alarm off. Luckily I figured out the Ninja moves before the growing queue behind me got too irate.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              FAIL

              Re: Photocopier challange

              > I can only imagine the designers of that system believed that would be the case.

              I'm erring towards simple incompetence on the part of Audi.

              Firstly, in the UK at least, it's perfectly legal to remove your seatbelt while reversing - this is to allow you to turn in your seat as required in order to be able to see properly. Audi should know that.

              Secondly it's two different behaviours (of the parking brake) affected by an apparently unrelated device (the seatbelt). This is a human factors no-no. And again, Audi should be better than that.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Photocopier challange

                Nobody cares about a remote island where people are too fat to turn in their seat without removing their seat belt.

                In civilized countries, when you are behind the wheel and moving the car in any direction, you must wear the seat belt.

                1. DeathSquid

                  Re: Photocopier challange

                  Ummm, basic physics says the seat belt is much less useful when travelling in reverse, particularly at low speeds. Countries that ignore physics should form aunion with that US state that legislated pi to be 3.

              2. Ididntbringacoat

                Re: Photocopier challange

                I failed in my first driver license "road test" for an "backing up" infraction. This was before mandatory seat belts.

                Turns out, the "violation" was not having both hands on the wheel, as I tossed one arm over the seat while craning my neck to better see out the back window. When I protested and asked about the "correct way" I was told I needed to keep both hands on the wheel and use the rear view mirror(s).

                When I further protested that method left lots of "blind spots", I was loudly berated and threatened with arrest. Even as a 17 YO, I had wisdom enough to shut up and reschedule my test. Yes, these clowns had "police authority" and could have affected an arrest.

                1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

                  Re: Photocopier challange

                  Which country? I suspect leftpondian - but "suspect" isn't worth a dime...

                2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                  Re: Photocopier challange

                  I must admit I don't often turn around to look when reversing. A properly adjusted rear view mirror in combination with properly set wing mirrors should be all you need in most circumstances, eg I set my wing mirrors so I can *just* see the door handles, and aimed slightly down so I can see the white lines of the parking bay as I start to reverse into it but still see a proper long distance when driving too. Obviously I also look around to see if or where any people might be and what they are doing, but I don't crane my neck around to physically look behind.

                  I've never hit anyone or anything when reversing. Or going forwards either, for that matter :-)

                  Reverse assists can be useful too. My car just has beepers the increase speed as I get closer. I've driven others with visual proximity indications and with rear view cameras. All are good, but tend to be over optimistic (or is that pessimistic?) with the distance you are from the object. They all take practice to learn to use properly. The first time I used proximity sensors I found the gap was much larger than I expected.

                  1. Terry 6 Silver badge

                    Re: Photocopier challange

                    I just don't have a very flexible (for rotation) neck. If I try to look back over my shoulder the sheer effort makes my eyes go funny. I've been driving for decades, always used my mirrors ( until the camera came along).

                  2. David Hicklin Bronze badge

                    Re: Photocopier challange

                    "I must admit I don't often turn around to look when reversing"

                    I used to do that a lot until I got a horsebox van that does not have a rear window (just the horses rear end in view !) and thus forced me to use mostly the wind mirrors

              3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                Re: Photocopier challange

                "Firstly, in the UK at least, it's perfectly legal to remove your seatbelt while reversing - this is to allow you to turn in your seat as required in order to be able to see properly. Audi should know that."

                That sounds like one of the laws put in place when seat belts were first mandated and were fixed in place, manually adjustable, rather then the retractable style we now have. I've not felt the need to remove a seatbelt so I could turn around for a reverse manoeuvrer in many, many years.

            2. jdiebdhidbsusbvwbsidnsoskebid Silver badge

              Re: Photocopier challange

              "it was drummed into me to never be in a vehicle without a seatbelt just in case something crashes into it"

              Even today in the middle age of my life I get into a car and start the engine before putting on the seatbelt. It's a habit that has stuck with me from years of driving cars where it wasn't certain the engine would start without having to get back out and fiddle with something under the bonnet.

          2. J.G.Harston Silver badge

            Re: Photocopier challange

            Why on earth were you trying to REVERSE out of a drive in the first place? You reverse *IN*to a drive, so that you *ADVANCE* *OUT* of it.

            You reverse into a blind space that you control, you never reverse into a blind space that you don't control; you *advance* into a space you *don't* control specificallly so it is *not* a blind space - so you can /see/ what you're advancing into. What you have done is just got into the habit of blindly running over whoever is on the road outside.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Photocopier challange

              Eh, wha?

            2. Ididntbringacoat

              Re: Photocopier challange

              But, but, that takes all the fun out of reversing out into the roadway amidst heavy traffic.

              However, trying to reverse into a driveway, expecting the traffic behind you to be pleasantly patient, or even stop far enough back to allow your reverse maneuver, is, well, problematic.

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                Re: Photocopier challange

                If you live on a busy, main road, they you indicate left and brake while pulling slightly out ready to reverse in, slowing in advance to give the driver behind a clue as to what you are about to do. I'd much rather take that chance than trying to reverse out onto that self-same busy main road with heavy traffic!

            3. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

              Advancing/Reversing

              What you say makes sense, but here, many places have angled parking slots and one-way aisles between the slots, along with signs reading, "NO BACK-IN PARKING".

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Advancing/Reversing

                You believe in signs?

            4. the Jim bloke
              Thumb Up

              Re: Photocopier challange

              There was an advertising campaign on this issue a few years - or possibly decades - ago.

              Something about attempting to reduce the number of people reversing over their own children as they leave for work in the morning.

              1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: Photocopier challange

                They should have stopped people sending their children out to work.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Photocopier challange

                  But, Wont somebody think about the economy !!

            5. Mike_R

              Re: Photocopier challange - Reverse into parking space

              After passing an Army driving test, that stuck with me in civilian life

            6. keith_w

              Re: Photocopier challange

              If you back into the driveway up to the garage or wall, because that is the limited amount of space you have, how are you supposed to get your groceries, or whatever, out of the trunk?

            7. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Photocopier challange

              It's also a little cheaper. Reversing is using the worst gear for fuel consumption and can often involve a little more manoeuvring. Also, parking usually happens with a warmed up engine running with the auto-choke/fuel management at leanest fuel use. Pulling away is usually with a cold engine at it's most fuel hungry so driving out forwards will usually be smoother and quicker in forward rather than reverse. Not to mention that frequent practice at reversing into a parking space makes you more spatially aware, a better driver, and for more likely to get into a parking spot that other less experienced people might ignore or give up on when they can't drive forwards into it, eg parallel parking.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Photocopier challange

                Having driven a (small) van for work for a time, I learned quite quickly that reversing into a parking spot was much better than reversing out of one, especially given the far more limited visibility - brought into focus the time I didn't do this, tried reversing out, and went straight into the side of a car that had stopped behind me, exactly where I couldn't see them in either mirror! (Thankfully, and perhaps miraculously, no damage done.)

            8. Terry 6 Silver badge

              Re: Photocopier challange

              Upvoted. But in real life we know that people just want to get home. So drive straight in. And worry about reversing out, next time.

            9. Calum Morrison

              Re: Photocopier challange

              Not all car parks are created equal; imagine it was a series of spaces along the side of a building on a one way street where the building was on the left (UK passenger side) so there was no option other than to drive in and out.

        3. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

          Re: Photocopier challange

          Peugeots do the same thing. I rented a 3008 that tried to drop you into the car in front in the same situation.

          I found (unfortunately just before I returned the horrible thing) that you could hold the parking brake switch in the "activate" position, and it would stay on even when bringing up the clutch. You could then release it when you're good and ready.

          Just one of the several reasons why the car was horrible, and borderline unsafe.

      2. Tony Gathercole ...

        re: How do you add fuel?

        Similar experience some 30+ years ago - probably 1990 or 1991.

        During the economic crisis in the early 1990s I'd been summoned for a meeting with the European Corporate Computer Services Group HoD to 'discuss' the budget for the Open Systems strategy programme I was responible for. HQ offices were in Cheshire and I was based on Teesside.

        Company concerned (global/empire-wide manufacturing Chemicals, Pharmaceuticals etc) was more concerned with employee safety with so many employees and contractors driving between the Northeast and Cheshire/Manchester/Merseyside each day than environmental impact so had arranged a regular commuter flight (Jetstream 31 typically) several times each day between Manchester and Teesside airports.

        So, I booked the standard package of day return flights and hire car from Manchester Airtport General Aviation terminal (then roughly where T3 is today). Arriving off the plane at lunch time I was greeted by the car rental guy handing out keys to the various travellers with something along the lines of "who's the luckly one today!" and instead of pointing me to the typical Ford Orion or Vauxhall Cavilier he showed me over to a Rover 800 Sterling - at that time must have been worth roughly the value of my mortgage!

        Off I go for my meeting with Eddie in Wilmslow, feeling very guilty about the potentual cost of the car hire (although in retrospect I expect that it was charged at the booked level rate), get chewed out as expected about programme time and budget overrun and make my way back to the airport, stopping off at a filling station around a mile away (company policy was always to top up cars before return, even where the mileage was low - in this case around 15 miles). Pulling up to the pump I started looking for the filler release: there must have been 30+ small buttons on the central console (no touchscreens in those days, nor Google!). Could I find the relevant one? Nothing I could see looked at like the right one, and I didn't fancy pressing any at random on a car like that, nor was there a manual in the car. Even got out to see if the filler flap was just press to open. Nothing!

        By this time there's a queue starting to build behind me and horns are starting to be pressed. Well reader, what could I do? Yes, I got back in the car drove off and returned it without topping off.

        Fortunately never got a car as fancy as that one again!

        Even more fortunately I never heard any complaints about either the cost of the car or the need for it to be refueled by the hire company.

        1. Calum Morrison

          Re: re: How do you add fuel?

          The current company car is a Volvo and the fuel filler release button is pretty much as daft; it only unlocks it so you still need to get out and actually press the flap to pop it open. That can take quite a bit of futile button pressing to discover... Presumably a safety or security feature and probably documented in the handbook, but that's a PDF on the infotainment system so that's not getting read.

          1. Tony Gathercole ...

            Re: re: How do you add fuel?

            Funnily enough, my current car is a Volvo V90 and after finding that out the hard way on the first day I picked it up, not really a problem - but as it's a PHEV only filled it up four or five times in the last eight months. It's one of the few remaining physical buttons and not controlled by the touchscreen.

            At least on the V90, the (electronic) handbrake button is more or less in the conventional spot under my left hand on the centre console - on my previous V70 it was on the righthand side of the dashboard!

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: re: How do you add fuel?

              A Volvo V90 PHEV that's only been filled up once every couple of months? It only has a range of 36 miles at best on battery. You must be a very low mileage driver or that's quite an expensive option for a run-about-town car.

            2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

              Re: re: How do you add fuel?

              "on the righthand side of the dashboard"

              Memories of a fortunately brief spell with an old Hillman. The handbrake was on the right hand side between the seat and the door.

      3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Photocopier challange

        This nonsense cost Subaru at least one sale.

        I'd had two second hand and was in the market for new one when I discovered that they'd adopted this. I looked into "what happens if the handbrake jams?". It turns out that some sealed cover has to be removed and some tool used to release it with some inordinate number of turns. Because the sealed unit has now been unsealed it has to be replaced at some similarly inordinate cost. And how do I do hill starts? It seem that this is to automate hill starts. Including riding motorbikes I've been doing hill starts for the last 60 years or more and given that there are a lot of hills round here and everywhere else I've lived, I think I've got the hang of it.

        1. adam 40 Silver badge

          How do you do

          ... handbrake turns?

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: How do you do

            Not in a Legacy.

        2. Swarthy
          Pint

          Re: Photocopier challange

          My wife's Outback has that - the E-brake is a nearly useless button/switch type thing, with fancy hill-start, etc. I hate it.

          My Impreza (cheaper, smaller) has an old-fashioned handbrake, and I have "never" used it for handbrake turns. Also, I love the "Crkrkrkrk" when you pull it up, that leaves you feeling secure that it's not going anywhere. The nearly silent click of the Outback's E-brake is far less satisfying.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Photocopier challange

            I love the "Crkrkrkrk" when you pull it up that leaves you feeling secure that it's not going anywhere.

            Press the button to release the ratchet, pull it up silently so the teeth are not wearing with the "Crkrkrkrk". Then release the button. That way that you increase the probability that it's not going anywhere.

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Photocopier challange

            In a hire car with electric button press handbrake, I was very concerned that it might roll away when I parked half way up a steep hill when it moved a few inches after applying the brake. So I did what I normally would in that situation, but this time with a feeling that I really, really HAD to in this case, and left it in reverse with the front wheels turned into the kerb. I had no confidence that the electric hand brake was going to hold for a few hours.

            1. MadDrFrank

              Re: Photocopier challange

              My late wife (a geology enthusiast) always felt a bit doubtful about handbrakes, so we carried a wedge-shaped rock in the car.

              She described it as her "peace of mind". Inevitably, to the family, it became "a piece of Mum's mind".

        3. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: Photocopier challange

          Both my cars have the lever type. The next year, Toyota switched to the foot pedal press-press type. Apparently their cars are now so reliable that there's no need for an "emergency" brake, only a parking brake.

          My response to Audi and the rest of the up-end cars with electronic parking brakes is..."one more thing to fail".

          (and fail it will) The repair will not be inexpensive, and people will shrug and say "oh, I don't use it anyway".

      4. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: Photocopier challange

        Ah, my Honda has the fuel and bonnet release levers close together and tucked down just out of sight. I've only released the bonnet and driven off with it loose once though.

        1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Photocopier challange

          Yep. My Camry had that. Boot in my case, and fuel release.

          Nice thing was that they're next to each other, so after closing the boot lid, I could pump the fuel.

      5. Vometia has insomnia. Again. Silver badge

        Re: Photocopier challange

        I'm somewhat reminded of a previous employer getting me a lease car as it involved a long drive to work on site every week for a year. It was a Vauxhall, which was straightforward enough, or so I thought. Until I tried to put it into reverse. Being a lease car it came without the manual and there were no instructions on the gearstick so I was utterly flummoxed. Fortunately I was young and still living at my parents' house, and Dad had driven Vauxhalls for years so it was instantly fixed with "you need to do this", but I dunno if I'd have ever figured it out if there wasn't someone to ask.

        For those who are unfamiliar, the gearstick has a sort of collar thing underneath the knob that had to be pulled up to unlock the reverse gear unlike the usual thing with either pulling the whole gearstick (ISTR this was BL's preference and the knob had "lift" written on the line going to R) or pushing it down. But this thing offered no clues at all.

        Vauxhall bit again a few years later with another lease car which introduced me to the automatic handbrake. Unlike its Ford equivalent, it was unable to do hill-starts, which was a bit arse as our driveway is on a hill. It just left me wondering what was wrong with an old-fashioned handbrake where most drivers can do hill-starts with no bother.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Go

          Re: Photocopier challange

          I'd total forgotten about that collar lift trick, I can't even recall if I had to be told. Either I the first time I tried to select gear I felt the lip & tentatively squeezed & went "Aha, reverse!"

        2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Photocopier challange

          My first car was an Anglia so I never thought a Ford gearbox was in any way mysterious. One day we were helping out with a student field trip to a site which my wife was investigating. We rolled up on site with the equipment, possibly in my car, more likely in the Botany Dept Mini. No sign of the lecturer with the hired Transit-based mini-bus full of students. When he finally arrived it turned out he'd missed a turn-off, Never having driven a Ford (his car was a Hillman Imp) he couldn't find reverse and ended up driving miles to find his way back without reversing.

        3. Glenturret Single Malt

          Re: Photocopier challange

          I have a little list of questions that I keep to ask the hire company whenever I hire a car. Top of the list is "How do I put it in reverse gear?"

    2. DailyLlama

      Re: Photocopier challange

      This is an annoyance of mine. If you require instructions on how to use the parking brake, it's too complicated. Get rid of the stupid button, and put the big lever back in the middle of the car, where everyone knows what and where it is.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Photocopier challange

        Also, how to select reverse gear on those cars where the manufacturer has added 'protection' against doing this accidentally ( this is especially annoying when collecting a hire car that is parked nose in against a fence, err as a hypothetical example ).

      2. gotes

        Re: Photocopier challange

        Agreed. It took me ten minutes to figure out how to get moving the first time I used a vehicle with one of these things. I couldn't see any advantage to it at all, but I wasn't aware it released automatically; I'd push the button every time.

        Yes, I was wearing the seatbelt, but I didn't RTFM.

    3. Commswonk

      Re: Photocopier challange

      Next day there was a sign over each copier saying "to print duplex - press this button", to shrink A3 to A4 - press ... this other button.

      Thank you for the opportunity of linking to one of my favourite "Dilberts"...

      https://dilbert.com/strip/1994-04-25. Oo-er; 28 years ago. :(

      FWIW I have used the same technique for producing double - sided copies using a copier that definitely didn't have a duplex unit. I always did it in small batches just in case things went awry; apart from anything else they were colour copies.

    4. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Photocopier challange

      In fairness, the manual duplexing for 50 copies was probably faster - churn out 50 copies of one side, then 50 of the next rather than engaging the duplex unit 50 times and initialising 100 copies.

    5. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Re: Photocopier challange

      Yes, late sister's car was one where you had to press a peddle before turning on the ignition. Which I didn't know. Tasked with starting the car because it had been sitting for a few weeks I just couldn't. I did figure out there had to be some sort of stupid trick- and eventually worked it out.

    6. General Purpose

      Re: Photocopier challange

      Shouldn't you find out how to stop it before learning how to start it?

    7. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Photocopier challange

      First time driving a Grand Caravan in Canada (Holiday Hire Car). Apply the foot operated handbrake on arrival at our hotel.

      Had to get the valet to show me where the hand operated release was tucked away on the trim in the same colour as the rest of the interior plastics the following day.

      1. Tony Mudd

        Re: Photocopier challange

        Same as a Kia Sedona does (in the UK). We had 2, one after the other over 14 years, never did work out how to do a hill start that didn't involve just releasing the parking brake and hoping you could get the clutch in the right place quickly.

    8. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Photocopier challange

      the instructions on how to use the parking brake were on page 200!

      A few years ago my wife got a new mobile phone. Not even what we'd now call a smartphone, although it could do email & basic browsing (remember WAP?) on its tiny screen.

      She bought it primarily to be able to make phone calls, the instructions for doing that were on page 80 of the manual, after all the info about choosing ringtones, etc.

    9. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Photocopier challange

      "Next day there was a sign over each copier saying "to print duplex - press this button", to shrink A3 to A4 - press ... this other button."

      Even today, it find a lots of people in offices don't know what "duplex" means. They do usually know how print "double sided" or "print on both sides". I could imaging a sign stating which button to "print duplex" would stump some people :-)

    10. midgepad

      I'm a pessimist

      And after several decades my interest is in failure modes.

      I teach people how to stop the car.

      Then I tell them how to start it.

    11. Sherrie Ludwig
      Pint

      Re: Photocopier challange

      I recently had a hire car - and the instructions on how to use the parking brake were on page 200! I suggested they have a one page set of instructions. "This is how you start the car - this is how you stop it - this is how you park it

      Oh this, THIS! I regret I have but one upvote to give you. So, a virtual beer.

  5. DwarfPants
    Gimp

    They should feel the pain

    "It was only then that my boss began to teach me that it is often easier to find and apply a solution than it is to educate a user,"

    That does not stop me trying. They need to have some comprehension of the magnitude, complexity and effort that is required for their request/issue.

    I particularly enjoy

    - Schrodinger requests: When we do X = Y should happen. Unless it shouldn't, followed by a list of criteria which results in do X != Y at precisely the same time as X = Y

    - Rare occurrence exceptions. Does not happen often, so we will handle it manually. Followed by a massive panic and drama as the very thing that does not happen often occurs repeatedly and is some how our fault.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: They should feel "our" pain

      But like the mentor said, sometimes it's easier to fix the solution. I would rather have a nice cuppa rather than try to educate someone who clearly shouldn't be allowed near a computer at any time. I hate it when people get hired for a job that requires a computer, but are afraid to touch it...

      1. Barry Rueger

        Re: They should feel "our" pain

        I hate it when people get hired for a job that requires a computer, but are afraid to touch it...

        Going back to early Windows days, when most office workers were very new to computers, the norm was to know exactly what you needed, and no more.

        Which, honestly, is true for all of us.

        The problem is when Windows or Lotus or WordPerfect updates itself and the ten or fifteen memorized steps that you do every day no longer work. And, as someone who months earlier had been "graduated" from an OBM Selectric to a PC you just stop dead.

    2. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: They should feel the pain

      I feel something was left out of the story: if the mentor (and a good one to boot, going by the article) was so hell bent in not trying to explain technical details to that particular user, he may have had a good reason.

      We all have met the odd user who not only doesn't listen, but is infuriatingly dense. Better to save breath in those cases.

      A lot of assumptions on my part, for sure, but that is what I get from the story...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "the doctor was so flummoxed he had given patients the wrong test results"

    I was going to say that it should be simple to check the name on the report matches the name on the envelope but then remembered 'Never Events' - "Never Events are serious, largely preventable patient safety incidents that should not occur if healthcare providers have implemented existing national guidance or safety recommendations." (NHS England https://www.england.nhs.uk/patient-safety/never-events-data/)

    A selection from the latest report...

    Biopsy of cervix instead o[f] rectum (qty 1), Botulinum injection to wrong site (2), (1), Wrong blood transfused (1), Potassium administered instead of fentanyl (1), Falls from poorly restricted windows (window restrictor failed) (1)... total 99 between 01 April and 30 June 2022 (plus another 3 serious but not classified as 'Never Events')

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Doctors!

      Whilst most are brilliant in the UK, there are some that don't listen to the patient and are normally entitled "Mr."

      I was a Triathlete with about 3% body fat before I hurt my back. I put on 10Kg as depressed in the 4 months it took to convince multiple Dr. that it was a back problem that meant I could no longer walk! Mr. consultant that I eventually saw, said in his letter, that it was all down to my weight and lack of fitness!

      Saw another Mr. consultant many years later. Apart from my name and occupation the letter didn't seem to correspond to anything we had discussed, with some of it being the exact opposite.

      Had to see same Mr. 6 months later and so took my partner with me as a witness. Letter was so terrible again that we complained (e.g. "incontinence has stopped", no, we had told him that it had not stopped since the initial back injury!)

      Response from the HA was that Mr. had already been charged by the BMC for issues covering that time period and last week was cleared, so we could not complain!

      Since found out that there is a name "Cauda Equina" and if you suspect it you should insist on seeing a Neurologist and not be fobbed off with an Orthopaedic.

      1. tinman

        Re: Doctors!

        I’d respectfully disagree with your last line in that a good orthopod should also consider cauda equina as a differential diagnosis, especially if there’s faecal incontinence, but alas you obviously got a wrong ‘un and I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that

      2. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

        Re: Doctors!

        You know the doctors called 'Mr' are surgeons? Doesn't sound like it from your post. Maybe that explains the problem? You shouldn't normally be seeing a surgical consultant without a prior diagnosis.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Doctors!

          The OP got it right. Surgeons (who are generally called Mr, not Dr) tend not to listen to patients.

          1. Version 1.0 Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Doctors!

            I've worked with Surgeons and the gait surgical environment for years now, I have a tremendous trust for Surgeons. The way things work most fields is that the Physical Therapists, Kinesiologists, and Doctors perform significant evaluation of the patients issues and work together to ask the Surgeon to try and fix the problems that they have documented - the patients are normally anesthetized before the Surgeons sees them much so talking with Surgeons doesn't happen much even if the surgery lasts 8 hours.

            Basically everyone is working together to help the patient.

            1. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

              Re: Doctors!

              "the patients are normally anesthetized before the Surgeons sees them much so talking with Surgeons doesn't happen much"

              Not really, the surgeon has a consultant role for a reason. But usually you don't see a surgeon asking 'what's wrong with me?', but 'here's the diagnosis, how are we going to fix it?' So the consultation might be relatively minimal compared to what's gone before, if there aren't a lot of options for surgical intervention.

          2. Joe W Silver badge

            Re: Doctors!

            Not here. You do not need to have a medical doctorate degree, which is a joke anyway (and not accepted generally e.g. in Switzerland) in order to be a GP or a specialised... uh... medical practicioner... person. You still have done all the same exams, had the special training in whatever your field is. I generally like that. It means they are more focused.

    2. heyrick Silver badge

      "Falls from poorly restricted windows (window restrictor failed) (1)..."

      Dammit, the BOFH is getting sloppy.

    3. WolfFan Silver badge

      Wrong blood transfused?

      That’s a damn good way to kill somebody.

      And ‘falls from poorly restricted windows’ has potential, too.

      And administration of the wrong drug.

      What was the body count at the various institutions in question? And can I have a look at their Mortality and Morbidity meeting notes? (According to my sister, an oncologist, every Monday morning there’s a M&M meeting to see how many patients the department managed to kill last week and to see if they could possibly avoid doing that again this week. Wrong drugs or wrong blood type would definitely make the top of the M&M, usually prefaced by pointing out that someone is no longer with us, or that someone is assisting the police with their inquiries.)

    4. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
      Joke

      Falls from Unrestricted Windows

      Looks like BOFH Simon was in the area!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, some users are just arrogant lusers

    And because that they will never accept they might have made a mistake. Especially if they work in some profession that because of old traditions (in this case the old tribe shaman) have still some kind of special place in society that makes them believe they are above others - so they won't accept to discover from whom they regards as underlings they are not so clever as they believe.

    So sometimes if you wish to keep a customer, you have to act that way. But it's bad when you treat user differently because of their "class".

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    NHS worker....

    Here in the hospital there are two doors, both with combination locks.

    The one for the cleaners' cupboard has the combination written on the side of the do it frame - not ideal, but unless you know it's there, it's not that easy to spot.

    The door for the Doctors office - written in plain sight at eye level on the door....

    When I'm feeling particularly evil, I wipe it off....

    1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      > wipe it off.

      DO IT! When someone asks: Security auditing.

  9. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    The problem here is that the doctor did not understand the connection between the printer and the computers. That problem was not solved. Instead he was given a printer switch a load of guff about channels instead of a printer switch and a sensible explanation.

    1. Paul Kinsler

      a sensible explanation.

      Indeed - or cover both bases - start with the sensible explanation, because after all the information *might* stick; but then just in case follow up with the fall back e.g. "basically, if it doesn't print, try switching it over".

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

        Re: a sensible explanation.

        Dummy_Mode_ON "If you have two rooms & only light bulb, if you unscrew the bulb & fit in the second room, is the first room still lit?"

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: a sensible explanation.

        THIS.

        If the explanation sticks with the user, then you've solved untold numbers of future problems and thus prevented lots of tech support calls.

        If the explanation didn't stick with the user. then you've at least permanently solved this particular problem and won't get called about it again.

        One addition, though - put a sticker on the printer that says "If it doesn't print, push this button over here."

        1. lglethal Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: a sensible explanation.

          And if you prevent lots of future support calls, you've just cost yourself a job...

          So maybe that's not the best option...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: a sensible explanation.

            There will always be future support calls. If you can prevent the really silly ones so you can focus on the ones that are actual problems, that's definitely a good thing.

            1. Killfalcon Silver badge

              Re: a sensible explanation.

              This. If the users stop making the daft mistakes, they'll have time to get to the really clever ones.

              You'll always have a role, the only difference is how boring it gets.

    2. John 110

      In my experience some users (yes, even doctors!) don't want to listen to sensible explanations. I was even told once "why should I keep a dog and bark myself?"

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        My response to a comment like that would something along the lines of "well, if you want to call someone out to fix something normally defined as user fixable, that's fine by me. Just remember that I'm not your personal servant and it may take some time to get around to tying your shoe laces for you.

        Or I might be more diplomatic and simply point out a 10 second fix the user is normally expected to do themselves is far more productive of their own time than potentially waiting hours for someone to come out and do it for them.

  10. Jesthar

    I don't mind training users...

    ...but the training varies depending on the complexity of the situation and the IT intelligence of the user. ;)

    For situations where the problem and solution can be explained to the user in a way they can comprehend, I will edtucate the user.

    For more complex stuff, or where trying to get a particular user to do it themselves would be dangerous, I just tell them I've worked some magic and it's all better now.

    This has been successful to such an extent that some users just ask me to "wave your magic wand and fix X" when putting in requests :)

    1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      Re: I don't mind training users...

      Like this ?

      (BTW: does anybody have a source with better video quality?)

    2. GlenP Silver badge

      Re: I don't mind training users...

      The real magic, of course, is when they call you for help and the problem is fixed without you doing anything.

      Now we all know they're either being impatient or rushing the input but we don't admit that!

  11. knottedhandkerchief

    Anecdote

    22 years ago we bought a house. By chance, the owner had the same first name and almost the same surname (certainly sound alike). We asked if they could recommend a GP, which we then signed up with.

    Cue a few years later, I entered the consulting room, sat down and the GP started reading out from the screen the previous issues and how I was getting on. I glanced at the screen and said "that's not me..." GP genuinely shocked and shut down the the screen incredibly quickly as if had something NSFW there... which was true in a sense as was a rather serious confidentiality error.

    Probably why they now check date of birth too.

    1. Joe W Silver badge

      Re: Anecdote

      Got a name common as muck. Had two guys in my army unit with very similar names. Fortunately we had different ranks...

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Anecdote

      "Probably why they now check date of birth too."

      I was quite surprised to learn there is someone in my GP practice with the exact same name as me. I only found out when I went for my flu jab last winter and after being asked my name, was then asked "which one? What's your DoB". The other "John Brown"[*] was booked in about three patients after me.

      * that's just my Professional Commentard Name, a nom de plume if you will :-)

      1. irrelevant

        Re: Anecdote

        Same at my GP.

        25 years ago, new house, new phone line, asked to be ex-directory. Then discovered from people who wanted to phone us, and had called Directory Enquiries, that there was someone else with the same name half a dozen doors down the road, whom were not XD, and, being the only match on our road showing up, had their number given out instead!

    3. Killfalcon Silver badge

      Re: Anecdote

      The worst I've run into, untangling accounts for a pensions company, was a married couple that shared an address (naturally), birthday and year (married couples are often about the same age, this is about a 1-in-2000 couples thing), shared a surname (pretty common for married folks) and... the same first name (Alex) and initials.

      Made sure to put a note on that saying to triple-check the full name if either ever wrote in for one of the big D's (Divorce, Death, or Default), to avoid sending anything really insensitive out.

  12. aerogems Silver badge
    Devil

    Birth of a new BOFH

    Sounds like Authur got his first lesson as a PFY. Some trades call you a journeyman; in IT you're a PFY as the innocence and compassion you have towards your fellow man is steadily beaten out of you until you're just a sadistic bastard who would sell their own mum to slave traders if they were short for a pint.

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Birth of a new BOFH

      And dont forget the VAT reciept

  13. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Never do this

    > it is often easier to find and apply a solution than it is to educate a user

    Pro tip: never try to explain to a user what the problem was. I know the urge to show off one's technical skills can be irresistible, but (from personal experience) the inner glow of superiority is brief and it is not worth the weeks, months and years of questions, queries and "how can I ... " that inevitably follow. especially as there is little chance they actually understood what you said,

    Apart from that, there is a very practical point. One that anyone who has done any IT teaching knows: Teach 'em everything they know, but not everything you know

    There is a follow-on rule, but I would refer you to the above.

  14. gnasher729 Silver badge

    He’s a doctor. He’s not poor.

    The obvious and financially helpful choice would have been to sell him a second printer.

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