back to article Putin reaches for nuclear option: Zuckerberg banned

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg and LinkedIn CEO Ryan Roslansky are among the latest US citizens to be added to the increasingly bizarre Russian sanctions list. The Russian Foreign Ministry on Thursday added the two CEOs, along with United States VP Kamala Harris and her husband Doug Emhoff, several Department of Defense officials, …

  1. Arty Effem

    That should put a huge crimp on Zuck's travel plans.

    1. ShadowSystems

      I know, right?

      This is the sound of the world's smallest violin playing the funeral dirge for Zuck's travel plans to Russia.

      What's a good song to play when you want to express your utter & unreserved contempt for someone? Lily Allen's "Fuck you" comes to mind, but I'm not sure the actual lyrics (rather than just the title) fits the bill. Can you think of one that does?

      1. secondtimeuser

        Re: I know, right?

        "Another F.U. Song" by Reel Big Fish fits that bill pretty well.

        1. Martin Gregorie

          Re: I know, right?

          Going back to the late '70s, there's always "Fuck You" by Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias, which was excellent when seen live on stage, or, if you must protect granny's delicate ears, its sanitized-for-radio version, "Thank You".

      2. Michael Habel

        Re: I know, right?

        Yeah I'm sure such travel bans will be a bother to absolutely no one. The best way to sock it to the BIG G, Netflix, and Facebook is to ban their sevices outright. While its a damn shame whats going on over there. I have no intrest to perticipate, or see my Sons march off to perticipate in some made up conflict that serves to purposes of those self-same idiots who told us to own nothing, and be happy. i.e. the same clowns who are actually the frontmen of these companies.

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          Re: I know, right?

          ban their sevices outright

          I assumed that was what this article was about.

          now i'm assuming they already did that, otherwise due to offering communication with the outside world Zuckerberg might actually be the face of truth in Russia

          1. Twanky
            Go

            Re: I know, right?

            Zuckerberg might actually be the face of truth in Russia

            Ha ha ha ha ha

      3. LogicGate Silver badge

        Re: I know, right?

        The traditional song to play on the world's smallest violin on occasions such as these is "my heart goes out to you". A song I have heard mentioned numerous times, but heard only once in my life.

        Wait.. Does that say something about me?

        ..Oh And I did NOT wish for a 12" pianist..

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: I know, right?

          6.40" should be enough for anyone!

      4. Jesthar

        Re: I know, right?

        I've always liked Billy Joel's "Great Wall Of China" - more subtle than direct in some in places, but some very clever expressions of the "We could have had everything, but you chose the douchebag route" sentiment. I believe it was aimed at his manager (a family member) who embezzled/mishandled millions of his earnings over the years.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HP_uDksJu0

      5. Danny 2

        Re: I know, right?

        "What's a good song to play when you want to express your utter & unreserved contempt for someone?"

        I had to withdraw my initial reply because I forgot about this song, that saved my life.

        A wee bit of background, in the late eighties, early nineties I loved and lived with a covert/shy narcissist. Look it up. Sweet as spice, sweet as cyanide. Wrecked my life at the time and destroyed my trust for life. She reappeared for twenty years later gaslighting me again. I was the love of her life.

        Thank god for John Grant.

        You Don't Have To

        There are days when I think about you

        And on these days I feel like a fool

        Because you don't deserve

        to have someone think about you

      6. Bongwater

        Re: I know, right?

        For those that slept - Black Sheep

        You'll love it!

      7. TangoDelta72

        Re: I know, right?

        Green Day's F.O.D or Ha Ha You're Dead will work for me.

    2. thejoelr

      Meta.

      No worries, this is the kind of problem the metaverse will solve. Visit virtual russia from your living room...

      1. Someone Else Silver badge

        Re: Meta.

        Yabbut...

        How do you keep the virtual FSB from virtually arresting (or virtually poisoning) you?

        1. First Light

          Re: Meta.

          Or the virtual anti-vaxxers from giving you virtual COVID?

          1. Enric Martinez

            Re: Meta.

            That would be these FancyBear dudes, right?

    3. Eclectic Man Silver badge
      Joke

      Ban who?

      I won't believe Putin is serious until the ban on access to Russia includes Nick Clegg. He is, after all the lynchpin of something or other to do with Meta/FaceBook, I think.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As the Ukrainian people sadly know too well

    You don’t go to Russia.

    Russia comes to you.

    1. Plest Silver badge

      Re: As the Ukrainian people sadly know too well

      Oooh, too soon? Hmmm probably a little too soon for that one....( still funny! )

    2. Version 1.0 Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: As the Ukrainian people sadly know too well

      "You don’t go to Russia. Russia comes to you."

      This appears to have be the situation that slowed the evolution of Neolithic farming when the early people in the Ukraine and the fertile crescent started to grow seeds and plants to eat them and feed their children. But then the foragers swept through so often, killing the farmers and stealing their daughters.

      The current situation suggests that Putin's Russians never evolved, they are just behaving like Mesolithic hunter-gatherers.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well, damn

    "Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg and LinkedIn CEO Ryan Roslansky are among the latest US citizens to be added to the increasingly bizarre Russian sanctions list. "

    I was hoping it was a bounty, not a "stop list". Maybe next time...

    1. UCAP Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Well, damn

      I was hoping it was a bounty, not a "stop list".

      Putin hasn't stooped that low yet. Given him another week, and we'll probably get there.

      1. Tams

        Re: Well, damn

        Looking at the state of him, he might well be incapacitated or even dead by then.

      2. Sitaram Chamarty

        Re: Well, damn

        I'm sure there are some nice tourist-worthy cathedrals in the areas where those guys live.

        1. Spanners Silver badge
          Pirate

          Re: Well, damn

          I understand that Notre Dame is looking for some ideas for replacement gargoyles. Perhaps this could be a trend all over Europe!

      3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Well, damn

        "Putin hasn't stooped that low yet."

        Yes he has. Novichok.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Well, damn

          He's used novichok on social media board members? Tell us more!

      4. Ken G Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Well, damn

        Unless Zuckerberg gets there first or tops the offer. Putin has a lot of money by Russian standards but he's no Jeff Bezos.

        1. teknopaul

          Re: Well, damn

          Re: "he's no Jeff Bezos" Putin doesn't limit himself to spending his own money.

          Russia is the 11^M^M 12^M^M 13th biggest economy in the world.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Apples and oranges.

          Bezos is going the weather the coming Nuclear Holocaust by flying to Mars, while Putin will hibernate in an opulent bunker deep under Siberia.

  4. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Have you seen the New Putin's TV Game Show?

    The first prize is one week in Russia.

    The second prize is one year in Russia.

    The third prize is ten years in Russia.

    1. TimMaher Silver badge
      Holmes

      Fourth prize

      A fake bottle of perfume.

    2. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Fourth Prize

      A lifetime in Siberia.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Might as well add me.

    Does anyone actually want to go to Russia at the moment?

    1. My-Handle

      Re: Might as well add me.

      Can anyone go to Russia at the moment?

      All airlines have ceased operating flights into / out of Russia. Russia has banned Western flights over it's airspace, which might make it tricky to fly a private aircraft into Russia (though probably not impossible). Otherwise, the best bet might be to physically drive over the border.

      1. Dr Paul Taylor

        Mathias Rust managed to fly into Russia (in 1987).

        As for Putin and Zuck - they were looking so well matched!

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          The same expressionless stare.

      2. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Might as well add me.

        Can anyone go to Russia at the moment?

        All airlines have ceased operating flights into / out of Russia. Russia has banned Western flights over it's airspace, which might make it tricky to fly a private aircraft into Russia (though probably not impossible). Otherwise, the best bet might be to physically drive over the border.

        As far as I know, there are still flights to Moscow from Serbia and Turkey, maybe also from the ME and some countries in Asia.

        1. Stork Silver badge

          Re: Might as well add me.

          India or china?

          1. Triggerfish

            Re: Might as well add me.

            Parts of SEA as well, Thailand and Vietnam get a few Russian tourists. Although there was something like 6K of them stuck in Phuket a few weeks back.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Might as well add me.

          Looking at departures oz794 still seems to be scheduled at least.

          You could also drive, and every so often Ryanair flights stop off in Belarus.

      3. mark l 2 Silver badge

        Re: Might as well add me.

        Emirates still flies to Moscow, and I believe there are Asian airlines are not banned from Russian airspace, so I guess in theory you could go there if you wanted to. But you would have to fly to China or UAE to get your flights into Russia.

        Obviously if you are from one of the countries that Putin has declared as 'unfriendly' I wouldn't recommend it though, as you may run the risk of being accused of spying.

      4. kat_bg

        Re: Might as well add me.

        If you really want there are ways, via friendly countries like China, Iran, UAE (DubaI), Turkey... Would be longer flight but still possible.

      5. BOFH in Training

        Re: Might as well add me.

        I think Qatar / Emirates / Etihad Airlines and a bunch of others are still flying at the least to Moscow.

        Thats what google shows anyway. Just search "flights to moscow" for the whole list. Maybe not from everywhere, but at least from some places, I guess.

      6. teknopaul

        Re: Might as well add me.

        Best not to drive over the border in a wester vehicle.

        You can drive from Helsinki to St Petersberg but I was advised not to stop for police because they are likely to steal your car.

    2. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: Might as well add me.

      At this time most definitely not!

      But hopefully in future years with Putin is gone and sanity has returned I would really like to visit the Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg, etc. I really should have gone several years ago, but even then when I mentioned it to a Belarusian friend she warned me not to to visit her country without a guide who knows the dangers and corrupt official to deal with.

      1. Plest Silver badge

        Re: Might as well add me.

        I had a school mate who used to go to Russia at least twice a year to buy Russian WW2 memorabilia, he had a thing for collecting Russian WW2 artifacts like medals and badges. He said he loved the Russian people especially the old guys who remembered WW2 and the later 20th Century, they had so many interesting tales but said they were always just a little cagey about revealing too much to a foreigner just in case the visitors got an unpleasant midnight wake up call at their hotel from the local "stasi".

        My mate said he only got pulled up once, bog standard questions about what, why, how long you staying, where have you been and who have you spoken to while staying here. A little unnerving as they weren't normal street coppers, he said as he'd already been warned that you could be held for a few hours or days if you said the wrong thing but he was told be honest, don't joke and they'll just let you go after 5 mins, which they did.

      2. KBeee

        Re: Might as well add me.

        I looked at visiting St. Petersburg a couple of years ago. The conditions required to get a visa were horrendous.

        The easiest way would be to get a ferry from Helsinki (nice town), to St.P as you could stay 3 days/2 nights without requiring a visa - the bus ride from the port to the city center counted as a "tour".

        Problem was, their wasn't a ferry every day so the best you could do was come in on the ferry, stay 1 night and go back on the same ferry the next day.

        1. disgruntled yank

          Re: Might as well add me.

          The visa requirements were odd, perhaps burdensome. (Last three employers, when one had folded and another had been merged out of existence into Yoyodyne General United Federal Business Systems.) It was not horrendous as in requiring blood samples or blood oaths.

          But I did greatly enjoy seeing the Hermitage, even if the management of light and air seemed to be awfully casual.

        2. Blank Reg

          Re: Might as well add me.

          I don't recall the visa requirements, but going to the local Russian consulate was like time traveling 50 years into the past. I don't think it had been redecorated since the 70s. The staff were so slow and it was obvious that they couldn't care less about their job or getting things done in a timely manner.

          Getting a visa for China on the other hand was simple and fast.

  6. John Doe 12

    In Other News..

    ...people banned from swimming in volcanic lava flows :-D

    It always amuses me when people ban others from doing things they would never do anyway. Ok I admit that I travelled to within 200km of the Russian border last week but only to see my favourite city who are still actually giving Russia gifts from time to time:

    https://twitter.com/jannestrang/status/1513996405890813954

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In Other News..

      Silly yes, but I'd rather see silly than a serious attack. And it serves as an outlet for when you have to be seen to be doing something but you don't really want consequences.

      I wonder how I can get myself on the banned list. Quite happy to ban Russian officials from entering my home in return (if I can figure out how to spell their names I can hang a little list behind the front door, maybe add some North Koreans and stuff while I'm at it), presumably the UK police would help me enforce this in the unlikely event of it being necessary (or at least they'd try to).

  7. DenTheMan

    Team still there on Facebook

    Russia played a large part in getting Trump elected and an even larger part in the 'oligarchs are us' Brexit.

    Britain still going in some of the general path of North Korea brings much joy to Putin I am sure.

    1. Plest Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Team still there on Facebook

      Obviously isn't stopping the old Afghan "Tobaccy" getting through all the sanctions judging by this off-the-wall post of complete and utter bollocks!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Team still there on Facebook

      Putin probably thumb-upped Brexit, but there is an ocean between Le Pen and Boris with respect to Ukraine.

      I think Trump, who could possibly be the next president, personally prefers Putin to Zelinksy by far, although he recognizes that being too obvious about it might dent his popularity - that won't stop him though.

  8. Plest Silver badge

    Putin's an a**hole but support him on this one thing!

    Uncle Vlad is a complete bellend but I have to give him props for dumping Zuck out in the cold, any chance of Boris and the EU doing the same? Doubt it but we can dream of a world without Zuck's company's vile presence on the face of mother earth.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Putin's an a**hole but support him on this one thing!

      Zuckerberg as a man is not too bad, at least he's trying with the Chan-Zuckerberg Initiative. But his Facebook or Meta company? that's less good.

  9. innominatus

    Bear with me

    "in Soviet Russia, bear pokes you"

    For a brief moment there I pictured a remake of The Revenant starring Zuck

  10. mcswell

    I wish they'd ban me, I'd wear it as a badge of honor, hang it on my office wall.

  11. GodsStubbornSon

    Putin, As most don't view your actions as "just", your reasoning is very vital for all of mankind's future. As the days go by, you will have support from the ones that matter. I know this as factual. Only hope left.

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