A classic defence
We have the documentation to prove our innocence - but there's such a lot of it and we are worried the prosecution will tire themselves out reading it.
IBM has been accused of trying to avoid its legal discovery obligations in Kinney v. IBM, one of many age discrimination lawsuits that have been brought against the IT titan in the past few years. In a motion [PDF] to compel discovery filed on February 28, 2022, attorneys for the current plaintiffs – who claim [PDF] IBM fired …
Find the IBM Board of Directors and senior execs in contempt of court and lock them up. The board, CEO, CIO, Head of HR, lead legal counsel, the lot.
Then be amazed at how many documents arrive within hours.
Do it once. Just once, and for the next ten years you will have no warrant issues with corporations.
Well of course the de-aging plan is not a corporate wide plan, otherwise the execs would have to fire themselves.
IBM = Important Bits Missing, mainly the experienced staff needed to their systems work, this story also gives me an IBM (Intense Bowel Movement).
"Discrimination of any kind is entirely against our culture and who we are at IBM, and there was (and is) no systemic age discrimination at our company," said LaMoreaux in a public statement posted to the company's website.
Useful rule of thumb: Any time anyone uses an identity-based whine ("not who I am" / "not who we are") in their defence, they are guilty as hell.
Look here, it's pure coincidence that all departments adopted the same procedure at the same time. We in corporate HQ were totally amazed to notice this. We don't know how such a thing could happen, only a few months after a woods meeting where we carefully explained that discrimination of any kind is entirely against our culture and who we are at IBM, and there was (and is) no systemic age discrimination at our company.
We hope that clears it up for you.
Whilst I agree with many of the comments posted I do have a question. Does the 5th amendment (if I've got the right number) only apply to actual human beings and not corporations? Discovery seems to me like "give us the stuff to prove you're guilty". I can't see anyone ever asking for discovery to prove innocence.